More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

It's been a hot second since the last time I cried tears of true rage but damn if I didn't come close today

My coworkers were like wow how are you still in a good mood after that my brother in christ after that interaction I went to the break room and took an extra adderall

HI EVERYONE OP HERE I QUIT THIS JOB TODAY

Inspired by a post by @littlepikmins

Tim has been gone for 2 weeks for a mission and Bernard is starting to lose it.

My brother recently bought a house in the rural outskirts of his city, and apparently it's a real fixer-upper, but that's always been the kind of thing he loves doing. So he has a truck now (to haul stuff for all the repairs he's doing on the house). He's already fond of flannel. He bakes his own bread.

And now a cat has turned up, so he has a cat.

With Christmas rapidly approaching, it's dawning on me that my own brother is, in fact, Hallmark Christmas Movie Small Town Man.

If he shows up to Christmas dinner with a bewildered hedge fund manager who got stranded in his town and fell in love with him over an ice sculpture carving competition or some shit, I'm gonna have to stage an intervention.

god forbid men do anything

clark, when he first met bruce: what a jerk, it’s no wonder he works alone, how could anyone possibly stand his ego-

….

clark, now: i want that man to have my children

(bruce, in the background: that’s physically impossible)

I just learned that the Russian word for “ladybug” translates to “God’s Little Cow”

It’s the same in Irish! bóín Dé!

in hebrew it’s “our rabbi moses’s cow”

Oh I love this news!!!!

Multiple cultures upon seeing a ladybug for the first time: “Who’s cow is this????”

It feels like some early humans were naming things and one of them ran out of ideas.

Human 1: (points at animal) What’s that?

Human 2: Cow.

Human 1: (points at bug) What’s that?

Human 2: … little cow.

Human 1: But it’s so much smaller. Who would have use for such a small cow?

Human 2: (panicking but in too deep to stop now) God.

The “Lady” in the name “ladybug” is the virgin Mary. People just cannot stop giving religious names to this bug.

The reason for this was that if you lived in an agrarian society then your survival was a throw of the dice every year, depending on the success of the crops. A failed crop year is a very hard year where deaths are expected. And if you grew a cereal like wheat, there were several things that could cause your crops to fail, but one of the big ones was if you happened to get a fuckton of aphids. You know what eats aphids? Ladybugs! If there are lots and lots of ladybugs around, there was a good chance that it’d be a good crop year! They were little crop protectors! When your family lives or dies on the success of that crop, of course they’d be seen as a blessing and given an appropriate name!

Happy birthday to AO3 🎂🎉

Meine Mutter meinte am Sonntag, sie hat zwar in ihrem Leben noch nie CDU gewählt, aber diesmal sieht sie keinen anderen Ausweg, die Nazis zu verhindern. Die Linke wäre ihr zwar lieber, die Grünen erst recht, aber nicht mal bei der SPD sieht sie Chancen. Das einzige das sie von dieser Verzweiflungstat noch abhalten kann, wäre ein SPD Hoch in den Umfragen vor der Wahl, damit sie sichergehen kann dass ihre Kinder (2/3 von uns sind trans*) ihre Rechte behalten und eine GroKo zustande kommt. Dass höchstwahrscheinlich die CDU Platz 1 und die AfD Platz 2 sein wird ist uns, denke ich, allen klar. Jetzt gilt, fürchte ich Schadebsbegrenzung. Anyway:

Bitte rebloggen für sample size und damit ich meine Mutter überzeugen kann, SPD zu wählen (Sätze die ich nie gedacht hätte, dass ich sie sage)

Apex Predator

just saw a sign on the side of the road that said “you misunderstood: bring back my lawnmower” that six word story goes crazy

Dickie just gets emotional when it's on pain killers lol

Commission Info / Kofi

You think THATS a denim jacket?

Surely you

That punchline hit me like a sack of wet mice

Like a sack of what

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST

Superman by itoscaresme.

The dichotomy of Batman and Robin is so fucking funny because on one hand you have a brooding, dramatic millennial with a rigid moral compass and a sense of extensional dread, and on the other you have an emotional support child that is somehow the literal embodiment of both sunshine and straight-up murder.

I think it's cute how so many art movements are simply called "new art" to differentiate "not like the old stuff". Contemporary dance. New wave fashion. Pop (literally popular) music. Art Nouveau. Modernism. Postmodernism. Even terms starting with neo- (neo-classicism, neo-expressionism) all are just saying NEW ART. And yet all of these things are now distinctive styles of the past. It's kind of beautiful how humanity never stops outgrowing itself. Art is a state of matter that refuses to sit still, old as soon as it is new, original upon its thousandth performance, new forever so long as there is someone who has not yet seen it, and old the second the artist picks up their instrument again.

New new NEW art (14)(THIS ONE!).docx