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soggy kebab

He’s showing you his flowers!

@whydoihavetoart ✩sneep snorp✩

reflection

I watch from a distance— a blur, a shimmer, a ripple where you once were.                                       let me see you.

your voice, a thread unraveling, ungraspable. was that you? or just the echo of my feet retreating?

there’s a weight in the air, a shift, like turning pages, but the words are gone. the ground whispers beneath me, but i don’t recognize the sound. maybe i once did

the mirror shows a shape, hollowed, faint— i used to think it was mine. didn’t i once know? but now, the edges don’t fit, pores don’t align and, the lines are fading, or maybe i am.

there was a time when i could trace the curve of who i was—i swear there was—i swear i could feel it under my skin, familiar, but now the outline slips, frays, as if it belongs to someone else, or no one at all.

i search for the fragments, in every glance, every surface, but nothing holds. nothing stays.                                                                                                                          

Nothing stays.

there’s a name, i think, a color, a shape, a beat i can’t find anymore, a breath slipping through the cracks. i chase it, clawing at the empty space, but it unravels, over and over again.

is this what it means to disappear? to stand right here, and still feel so far.                                                                                             even as i hear the words drop i doubt they did

once, i could close my eyes and feel the rhythm of being— steady, solid. now, it’s all sway, all drift. nothing holds.

i could, i could, i tell you i could.

tell me— if there’s anyone left to ask— was this always me? if it was please tell me i’m happy

putting him through the horrors again