movies where a creature of another species with a love for good food meets a mess of a human down on his luck living in a shitty apartment and the creature can control the guy’s action and he’s unwilling at first but they learn to cooperate and together they can stop the evil rich man trying to take them down

This comparison is wild, but where’s the lie

the little baby + tumblr

cedric:

I cant get over the fact that Kylo looks like an angry wet cat.

Tumblr is like the Baudelaire children of websites : Being passed on from one terrible authority figure to another who always fail to address the real problems chasing it down all along

It’s also like the Baudelaire children because one third of tumblr users are babies who can and will bite anything

We Have Your (insert name here)

This started out innocently enough, and then I…kind of went overboard. Enjoy.

-

Kidnapper: We have your son.

Bruce: Which one?

Kidnapper: Which…? Um…black hair, blue eyes-

Bruce: *tired sigh* You’re going to have to be more specific. 

Kidnapper: P-pissed off, super snarky–

Bruce: More 

Kidnapper: M-more?

Bruce: More specific than that. 

-

Kidnapper: We have your brother.

Dick: OH NO

Dick: OHNONONO WHICH ONE!?

Kidnapper: It doesn’t matter, which one. You have twenty-four hours to–

Dick: IT’S DAMIAN ISN’T IT I CAN TELL BY THE SOUND OF HIS BREATHING DAMI DON’T WORRY I’ll BE THERE IN FIVE

Kidnapper: …

Kidnapper: *to his partner* He says he’ll be here in…in five?

Kidnapper 2: Or what? The kidnapping’s free?

-

Kidnapper: We have your daughter. 

Barbara: ….

Kidnapper: I said we have your–

Barbara: Yeah, I heard you. You have Cassandra. You’re calling me from the basement of a club in the Diamond District called the ‘Lucky Blue’ and I can tell you your date of birth, social security number, and bank account PINs right now. Are you sure you’d like to play this game?

Kidnapper: Wh–

Barbara: Oh, and by the way, you are gravely mistaken. You don’t have her. She has you.

Kidnapper: *disconnected screaming*

Barbara: Heh. That’s my girl. 

-

Kidnapper: We have your brother. 

Jason: Cool. Tell him I said ‘hi’. 

Kidnapper: …

Jason: *hangs up*

Kidnapper: …

Kidnapper: He says…um…’hi’…

Dick: Oh, sweet. Did you say hi back? Please tell me you said hi back.

Jason: *kicks down the door*

Dick: Hey, bro!

Jason: *sighs*

Jason: *cocks gun* The things I do for you freeloading–

-

Kidnapper: We have your brother. 

Steph: My BROTHER brother, or my boyfriend brother? Or do you mean my boyfriend brother’s boy-slash-friend brother? Or do you mean my not-quite-dad’s son brother? Or my new brother who is sort of terrified of everyone? Or–

Kidnapper: *hangs up*

Kidnapper to Tim, who’s tied to a chair: Do you have…anyone else we could call?

Tim: Would you like to talk to my boy-slash-friend brother, my oldest brother figure, or my not-really-related-but-still-kinda-sorta-little brother? If they’re not available you can try my brainy sister, my bad**s sister, my punk sister or my lesbian aunt. Or–

Kidnapper: I will pay you to just…leave.

-

Kidnapper: We have your brother.

Damian: Sorry, I don’t accept returns.

Kidnapper: …

Damian: *hangs up*

-

Kidnapper: We have your brother.

Tim: Oh, sweet. You can take his ransom out of the $50 he owes me.

Kidnapper: I don’t und–

Tim: Jason? If you can hear this, I’m cutting you off. No more begging me for cash to buy tamagotchis off the internet.

Jason: *through his gag* IF YOU LET JAY JR. STARVE WHILE IM GONE–

Tim: Oh, and just a tip: remember to use a few extra layers of duct tape. He’s a biter.

Kidnapper: I–

Tim: *hangs up*

-

(Cass got to the kidnappers before they even picked up the phone.)

-

Kidnapper: We have your brother. 

Duke: Man, how can I ever thank you?

Bruce has all these calls recorded and plays them for the League

what am i missing

The Villains of the Marvel Cinematic Universe in a Nutshell

Rumlow and Rollins in SHIELD custody.

honey badger don’t give a shit

Prison guard: Rumlow keeps breaking out of his cell.

Ross: Hm… Lock Rollins up with him to distract him.

[Half an hour later]

Prison guard: Rumlow and Rollins broke out of their cell.

Ross: …well, fuck.

I think my favorite discrepancy between the Rogue One promo material and the actual film is that the promos make it look like this was a very carefully put together team and in reality it’s a bunch of people that Cassian Andor more or less kidnapped.

#get in loser, #we’re going to fight the Empire. (via @patrickat)

the entire lord of the rings from the rings perspective

hand hand river dirt gollum hobbits pockets pockets finger envelope fire hand neck neck finger hobbits neck neck neck pocket finger LAVA

(via incorrectmarvelcomicsquotes)

i want to revisit my point that every popular marvel blogger on this godforsaken website is a white girl in her twenties with a pastel edit of a comic book character as her icon, most likely a minimalist header with said comic book character’s fanon love interest on one side, with the title being a shitty overused quote and a description that consists of “name•age•_____ owns my ass/crying over ____” like the unoriginality teas 

the post that came 4 the whole fandom

we’ve all been exposed

reading fics in bed like