more Marvel trash

KIRK THIS WHY YOU GOTTA FILL OUT THE LOG

I’ve heard the theory that Kirk’s logs just get circulated round headquarters for lulz before being dumped in the circular file as obvious fabrications by someone bored with a frontier posting. “Hey, have you seen this one? He says he fought Apollo.” “What, the old earth probe?” “Try the old earth GOD!” “Hilarious! Classic Kirk! That’s better than the time when he was transported to an evil dimenison.” The reason why in The Naked Now it was Riker who remembered that the previous polywater infection had happened is that he’s the sort of person who would read The Hilarious Adventures of Captain Kirk for fun.

I especially like this idea because of the implication that all the other captains in Starfleet are reporting perfectly ordinary experiences like visiting a space station, dropping off supplies at a colony, bit of a stand-off with some Klingons in disputed space but got out of it unscathed - and then there’s Kirk all, “sorry guys we’ve been off course this week because my first officer seriously needed to get laid (LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA MY NECK STILL HURTS)” and “let me tell you about the Chicago Gangster planet” and “WHIPPED AND THROWN IN JAIL BY SPACE NAZIS.”

I actually really like the above explanation

“So wait, they stole his first officer’s brain?”

I always preferred the idea that every single Constitution-class starship of the Kirk era was running into all kinds of insane shit and so the Enterprise’s adventures mostly just got lost in the shuffle.

“Sir, Starbase 12 reports a flock of space sharks cruising through the system.  They’re worried about them chewing on the antennae.”

“Can we get the Hood over there to monitor their path and shoo them off if need be?”

“No can do sir, Hood called in two days ago, says the Captain took his security detail down to the local surface to fight an army of evil komodo dragons.”

“Damn.  What about the Valiant?”

“Captain says she’s currently engaged in a duel of wits with a clone of Bismarck.”

“Like the battleship?”

“No sir, a clone of Otto von Bismarck, the German chancellor from the 1900s.”

“I’m scared to ask, but where’s the Potemkin?”

“Last reported in pursuit of a super-intelligent shade of blue.”

“God’s sake.  What about the Enterprise, are they available?”

“Something about a hole in space.”

“Christ, it’s always something.”

spider-sense facts + comic references

the least realistic thing about star trek is that starfleet uniforms don’t have pockets and nobody complains about it

My instinct is to agree with this, but like, when I really think about it…

No money, no credit cards, identification is all vocal/fingerprints/retinal, so no wallet.

Again, doors are voice activated, or just unlocked by entering a code.  No keys.  

Communication devices are tiny and stick onto clothing starting in Next Gen.  TOS had bulkier communication that they carried around or kept in, like, packs and stuff, so the arguments for pockets is a little more valid, and if I remember correctly, those costumes did have pockets, tho I could be wrong about that.  But anything post TNG, the point is moot anyway.

Tricorders and phasers are really the only thing anyone’s carrying around, and that’s usually on away missions where they’d be bring their packs/holsters or just have them out.  I mean, who wants to stick a phaser in their pocket?  

So, yeah.  There’s not much little stuff people need to carry around everywhere.  And if they are preparing for a longer journey or want to bring bulkier things, well…just bring a bag.  It fits more anyway.    

what if i find a cool rock and want to take it home with me

Every time a member of the USS Enterprise has found a cool rock and taken it home, it has resulted in eleven deaths, six temporal displacements, the holodecks breaking again, and somebody getting turned into a lizard. Pockets are a privilege, not a right.

Bucky literally throws him by the face…  

Part of Robert Downey Jr.’s workout for Avengers: Age of Ultron [x]