Nothing brings this website together like being astronomically horny and I luv that for us 😂😂😂

they should just rename this site

My autistic brother created a new family Christmas tradition

Okay, so last year, my mom bought this Christmas moose that she lovingly named Barry

This is him

Cute, right?

Well, for whatever reason only known to my brother, he decided that he wanted to put Barry in different rooms of our house and it usually scares the shit out of whomever happens upon Barry; usually the person who finds him is the person that my brother wanted to scare.

So far, Barry has been found

On our dining room table

On my dad’s side of my parents’ bed

In my parents’ closet

Outside their bedroom door (at 5 in the morning and scared my mother shitless)

Near the kitchen door

Near my fucking bed

At the bottom of my sister’s stairwell

In our bathroom

And down the hallway

This has gone on for 9 days and it doesn’t seem to show signs of stopping. Most of the time we know who gets Barry because it’s always followed with a very loud “FUCKING BARRY!!!!!”

My brother is the funniest fucking person I know.

Update:

He found his way into my sister’s room.

And my brother is cackling maniacally downstairs.

Holy fuck this doll is creepy

Another update:

The soft glow of the Christmas tree seems to quell his bloodlust

vote to replace the evil surveillance Elf on the Shelf with Barry the Chrismoose

Broke: Elf on the Shelf Woke: Moose on the Loose

Tis The Season

Chris Pine plays kiss, marry and kill. Chrises Edition.

the correct answer now i’m picturing Chris Pine three times widowed wearing his black veil and his fur coat

Them. Together in a project. Looking like this.

Steve: So what’s been on your mind lately, Buck?

Bucky: I wanna take probiotics and antibiotics at the same time and have them fight inside of me.

Steve: ….

Bucky: I wanna see who wins.

Another proposal: four Peter Parkers living in an apartment New Girl style. Starring Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, Jake Johnson, and Tom Holland.

There's no explanation. No questioning why four guys with the same name live together. They just do.

They all, however, think there is only one Spiderman.

Spiderman: Into the Spider-Flat

they still can't afford rent

They're all consistently confused when the news reports on one of the other spider-men saving people at times and places they KNOW they weren't there for but rationalize it away like "I dunno, I mean... Maybe I just forgot...? It's been busy today I might have like... Hm... I.... "

It's filmed sitcom style and the main focus is all the Peter Parkers hiding that they are Spider-Man from the other tenants

Avengers: Endgame alternate ending where Thor gets hold of the gauntlet in the final fight to snap instead of Tony, and when he snaps, he doesn’t just wipe out Thanos’ army. With that agonizing flick of his fingers, he brings back all of Asgard and the dead Asgardians as well – both those killed by Thanos and by Hela. The gauntlet burns and shrivels his arm in the process, and while he survives, he ends up losing the arm (leaving him looking like comics!Thor–)

(Also he doesn’t dust Thanos but leaves him for Nebula and Gamora to finish off. He’s had his turn before, it’s time they get theirs. And as he staggers back to his feet, Bucky immediately points out that if he’s in the market for an arm, he knows a gal.)

The effect of Thanos’ forces turning to ash is easy enough to observe, but Thor doesn’t know if his snap worked to bring Asgard back as well until he looks up and, warily, calls out Heimdall’s name…

…And the bifrost opens.

He smiles to his companions, then takes the bridge back to the newly restored realm eternal. His friends are all there on the bridge waiting for him, and through the crowd, a familiar lean figure steps forward, smirking.

“I told you the sun would shine on us again,” Loki remarks, before Thor crushes the breath out of him in an embrace.

The king is returned. And the sun shines on Asgard in the dawn of a new age.

civil war but when zemo says the trigger words bucky goes into factory reset mode and starts speaking spanish like buzz lightyear in toy story 3

steve: bucky?!

bucky: quién carajo es bucky?

Remake? 

(yes I know Ben Barnes has played Dorian Grey) 

infinity gauntlet is a dumb name. i vote we call it the monster mitten. the glowy glove. the power puncher

If Steve does die in Infinity War then Chris Evans just needs to keep that Lobby Hero haircut and mustache and come back in the Spider-man sequels as J. Jonah Jameson.  Just have him running the paper and never address that it’s clearly Steve with an awful haircut.

Oops. Missed a comment

Vintage Leverage. The post-war economy boom provides many advantages for soldiers coming home and their families, but it also increases the number of companies, as well despicable individuals, who prey on innocents. Veterans who were promised education and business loans, but fell victims to scams; women losing their jobs on false pretenses; families robbed of insurance money. They had no one to turn to, until a group of former soldiers assembled an unusual team specializing in recovering compensation for their victimized clients. Staging elaborate cons, they provide… leverage.

I want Terry Crews and Vin Diesel to do a buddy cop movie where they are both secret nerds but they don’t want the other to know. Like Vin Diesel plays D & D on weekends and Terry likes to create epic crossover fan art. Somehow they have to work undercover at Comic Con and for what ever reason I need Daniel Radcliffe to be the villain. 

I’d like to add: not a character played by Dan Radcliffe. Dan Radcliffe, appearing as himself.

no, no wait… I want Elijah Wood to play Daniel Radcliffe.

Elijah Wood plays Daniel Radcliffe and his evil sidekick is Elijah Wood played by Daniel Radcliffe

*slams fist on desk* HOW DO WE MAKE THIS A REALITY???