✨Yikes✨

Gojo Satoru excels at many sports, but surprisingly he’s the best at gymnastics. (He also takes yoga classes).

Gojo Satoru once made a pocket pussy at home following a YouTube tutorial video.

Gojo Satoru wears crocs unironically(and in sports mode). cred to @celestie0 for this one

Gojo Satoru tried to sell his tandem bicycle on Facebook marketplace and instead of offers people just roasted him for owning one.

Gojo Satoru had a funeral for his dead hamster and forced everyone to attend. He even had a speech.

Gojo Satoru dyes his pubes.

Gojo Satoru sometimes like to get a Thai massage with a happy ending, that’s until he met principal Gakuganji there.

Gojo Satoru was tickled so hard by Geto that he accidentally farted really loudly. Which Geto of course told everyone.

Gojo Satoru actually has body hair, but he shaves his chest and stomach.

Gojo Satoru once picked up his date with a tandem bicycle. Let’s just say he rode it home alone after the date was over.

Gojo Satoru has really small nipples.

Gojo Satoru wasn’t allowed into stores as a child because he always broke something or stumbled into shelves making things fall over. So he had to stand outside along with the dogs.

Gojo Satoru likes to learn new hobbies to impress his friends and s/o.

Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru once had an ironic Twilight movie marathon, but he ended up loving them and cried at the end. Geto told everyone about it.

Gojo Satoru once ate raw chicken because he didn’t have the heart to tell Nanami about it since he rarely cooked for him. He was later admitted to the hospital for a week.

Gojo Satoru puts milk before cereal.

Gojo Satoru has over 3000 hours on candy crush and is beefing with middle aged women on candy crush forums while waiting for new levels (credit to @celestie0 for this one)

Gojo Satoru forgot to turn off his infinity one time when he was going to take a shower and the water splashed everywhere like when you wash a spoon. (also he has one of those showers with no walls or curtains)

Gojo Satoru once took a nude of himself and jacked off to it.

Gojo Satoru paints his toenails.

Gojo Satoru always go commando when he’s fighting curses.

Gojo Satoru once got his belly button pierced as a joke when he was 18, but now he wears jewellery unironic.

Gojo Satoru stopped going to hair salons to get his hair done after accidentally creaming his pants when the hairdresser gave him a head massage.

Gojo Satoru once bought a hamster, but forgot about it and it died. He didn’t realise it until months later when he found its skeleton.

Gojo Satoru loves to be the little spoon when cuddling.

Gojo Satoru often come to work and realise that his pants are backwards.

Gojo Satoru loves lord of the rings and based his whole persona as a teacher and mentor off Gandalf.

Gojo Satoru is chronically cold on his feet so he wears wool socks all the time.

Gojo Satoru has a mole somewhere on his body that only a special few have seen.

Gojo Satoru once wrote a Digimon fan fiction and posted it on a forum, but he got roasted so hard that he deleted it.

Gojo Satoru prefer to poop at work to save money on toilet paper and get paid to shit.

Gojo Satoru defeated a curse by sneezing so hard it exploded from the impact.

Gojo Satoru always has tissues on his nightstand, but not for the reasons you might think. It’s because he cries himself to sleep almost every night from feeling the overwhelming pressure of being the strongest and the whole country depends on him to protect them. Also the constant image of seeing his best friend die by his hand breaking him apart over and over.

Gojo Satoru tried to fly all up to space, but he forgot to bring a jacket and gave up because it was a little chilly.

Gojo Satoru didn’t know how to use chopsticks for an embarrassingly long time (Geto taught him and swore to never tell a soul about it)

Gojo Satoru once crossed the streets and got run over by a car, but then he got up as if nothing happened and walked away

Gojo Satoru once dropped a Mochi on the ground and looked over his shoulder so see if anyone was watching before eating it.

Gojo Satoru lost his virginity to Mei and he came the second his cock was inside her. None of them spoke of it again.

Gojo Satoru is extremely ticklish and when his friends and s/o found out, they exploited that weakness a lot. Guilt tripping him to not have his infinity activated — saying that means he doesn’t love them.

Gojo Satoru once rubbed himself while thinking about Geto Suguru (the day after he died)

Gojo Satoru when comfortable with his s/o uses farts as his love language

Gojo Satoru once ate only samyang noodles for dinner for a whole month

Gojo Satoru brushes his teeth twice before going to sleep, first when he goes to bed, then at 2:34am after midnight snacks

Gojo Satoru has this weird fascinating with poking peoples belly button’s and finds it extremely fun if they hates it. (He also just pokes around inside his own whenever he just chilling and his friends and s/o has given up on stopping him)

Gojo Satoru actually got a drivers license as soon as he reached legal age, but lost it only a week after (don’t know why, use your imagination)

Gojo Satoru once came home with a random cat and then he just became a pet-owner. The cat just comes and goes (he most likely cat-napped someone’s cat)

Gojo Satoru loves leg day and can hip thrust 550lbs/250kg easily. (His ass actually thick af, but he hides it well. Saving it as his biggest weapons)

Gojo Satoru once got a full Brazilian wax after losing a bet with Geto Suguru. That was the first time he didn’t leave his home for a whole week.