@whitmerule / whitmerule.tumblr.com
Can’t talk to real life friends the way I can my tumblr friends. Y'all don’t make fun of me when I call Richard my baby. You just agree with me and show me your favorite Dick pics, and that’s why you’re cool.
yay my dash is full of dick pics, thank you!
It makes me sad when Richard makes self-deprecating jokes about how he’s not attractive, because no, shush, you ridiculously gorgeous man, who put that idea in your head?
jared. jared did. by laughing at him for having to actually use a hairbrush to make all his hairs point in the same direction.
okay, i agree that this is a precious gift to us all
but wouldn’t it be an even better reaction gif if it was reversed
OR EVEN
you’re welcome
Fact: Richard Speight Jr has the perfect ass.
fact
Some quick screenshots of topless, sleepy Richard “Slate” for all the cool cats in @aria-lerendeair‘s livestream!
richard why
Do you know of any kissing Gifs with Richard? I could have sworn I saw a post like that a while back but I don't remember. I would kill for that though. Unf.
Well, I did have someone ask about them a while ago, but I have acquired some more kiss gifs since then, mostly thanks to @charlie-bradcherry lol
Recommended: Have an extra pair of panties on hand.
You’re welcome.
oh what a handy art ref collection
kiLL ME
why
YOU SAID DILDO AND MATT COHEN IN THE SAME SENTENCE, THE TWO CORRELATED TO EACH OTHER AND I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS please, and thank you
OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY
SO. There’s this short/pilot episode that Matt Cohen was involved in, called Hard Crime. It’s a spoof on like, a mix of CSI Miami and a few other crime shows and it’s fucking brilliant in how gloriously irreverent it is.
ANYWAYS.
So, Matt is the main character, and one of the things that the main character (whose name I do not remember which is a crime, but it means I have to watch it again, which is an AWESOME thing), does/gets…is that when there is crime nearby, he gets a Crime Boner.
I shit you not, a large portion of this whole thing has uber-gruff Matt Cohen (scruff and all) wandering around with a GIANT. BONER.
It is the funniest thing you have ever fucking seen in your life. NOW. Moving the plot along, there’s this whole scene where Matt confronts the police chief/mayor person and he says he’s the only person who can catch the dastardly evil person who wants to take over a very specific part of California. (We’re talking like, specific COUNTY.)
So, following the Crime Boner of Hardness - they track down the villain, who is none other than a dastardly evil Richard Speight Jr.
There’s a bomb, and a plot to take over this piece of California, and a very bad guy, so Matt Cohen saunters up with the Crime Boner, and there’s cursing over how accurate it is…and then.
AND THEN.
TRUE GLORY HAPPENS.
The Crime Boner becomes a machine gun. All the bad guys are killed by it (including Richard, who fucking LAUGHED when I asked him how it felt to be killed by the Crime Boner in Hard Crime. He went on to explain that he didn’t remember it well, but that the whole idea had been Matt’s plan and baby and idea and fuck, he was just enthusing talking about it and it was GREAT), however, there’s still the bomb.
So, what does Matt Cohen’s character, with the machine gun Crime Boner do? Well, of course he has to defuse it.
BY FUCKING IT.
I shit you not, now knowing that the Crime Boner is a giant flesh-colored dildo, watching Matt Cohen fuck that bomb into deactivation is pretty much the best thing EVER.
So, fast forward to MinnCon, I’ve got Matt signing a few things for me and I mention Hard Crime and he starts laughing and I ask my questions (”In Hard Crime, what was the Crime Boner made out of it, if it wasn’t, you know, real.”) and explains that it was a giant, flesh-colored dildo, precisely 18-inches, and it was most definitely NOT REAL and he’s laughing his way through this explanation while the handler looks at me in horror and the person behind me is trying not to laugh.
Oh god, I manage to tell Matt that he has made my convention with the answer to this question, and walk away happily with my autographs.
And that, THAT, Letzi, is the story behind Matt Cohen, an 18-inch flesh colored dildo (that is apparently a strap on, because I have no idea how else he could have kept the thing in place), and Hard Crime.
THANK YOU.
TO FULLY ILLUSTRATE HOW BEAUTIFUL THIS IS, HAVE THE FOLLOWING TWO PICTURES.
AND. JUST. WITH THE ABOVE KNOWLEDGE. ENJOY THIS INSTAGRAM POST.
OKAY THERE WE GO.
omg THE CRIME BONER STORY
i’m betting you made their con with that question too. :P
Misha and Richard Speight Jr. Booty @ AHBL7 Sydney
i just want to do a painting of the shapes the shadows make on their backs here AND THEN ADD WINGS
*SIGHS*
Richard you are Sabriel trash, imma send you a button. (X)
richard you minx
Playing Fuck Jensen-marry-kill
i think you mean 'gangbang'
“Where is Misha?” song at NJ con 2014 [x]
roming about (jared gets to carry all the things. and look scruffy.)
Hello! There is something I have wanted to say for a very long time but I have never had the time.
I have gotten several asks/messages from different fans about Rich’s kids. (If you are one of those persons, please do not worry, we are not judging you - you couldn’t know better!) Yes, he has three sons. No, I will NEVER post pictures of them.
The fact is, Richard keeps his family private, and that’s good. We must respect his choices. Hell, I hardly ever post any pics of Jaci in it because there are just a few.
Of course, somewhere in the internet can be pictures of them, because nearly everyone is on the internet/is pictured somewhere. But that does not mean they want it. And I am sure Rich does not want it too.
This goes to every fan out there - If you see a picture of his kid(s), do not share it, do not reblog it, just leave it alone. Richard does not want his kids to be in public and we must respect it. Otherwise you are - in my eyes - not a real fan.
