mouthporn.net
#and – @whitmerule on Tumblr
Avatar

whit merule

@whitmerule / whitmerule.tumblr.com

The theme of this blog is 'things that are making me happy'. If you're looking for my Cats content, it's at @junkyard_gifs.I am on AO3 under the name 'whit_merule'. This is a hatred-free blog, and a safe space for your identity and for your fandom preferences. (I am a bisexual ace in my thirties, with 'she' pronouns.) Ship who you ship, love who you love, be whoever you really are as hard as you damn well can, and tag as appropriate for anything that might make others uncomfortable.
Avatar
Avatar
catchymemes
Avatar
steeiydan

no but let me add the context here!

these are two pretty well known german tv personalities

palina, the woman on the left here, gets a lot of really gross comments on her body, especially her boobs. stuff like (paraphrased cause they’re in german) “woah, i wanna cum all over those fat tits” or “she’s such a fucking hot slut i wanna fuck those tits” or “with her, half of the guys would cum before reaching her hole” and who can forget “palina, you are and always will be a juicy piece of meat i would drink out of”. and the media tends to really sexualize her too.

so she and klaas (dude on the right), with the help of their team and and lovely ass-model decided to just drop this picture as an instagram, with the caption “finally got that nice necklace with my zodiac”

the media was quick to pick it up as “ah she says its about the necklace but she wants to show her boobs!”, and of course there were more comments like “i jacked off to this like seven times in an hour” and “those tits should milk my cock dry”

like a week later, they dropped the making-off video to that video and the rest is history

LEGEND

Avatar
whitmerule

thanks palina, klaas, and lovely arse-model

Avatar
reblogged

Title: dominoes Pairing: BennyxCastielxDeanxSam Rating: Explicit Wordcount: 2,543 Notes: because @nihilfugit egged me on about (this post) <3, written for @spnpolybingo Square Filled: Cuddling

-

It’s not a night-light. Of course it’s not. If Dean just so happened to go through four alarm clocks before he found the most obnoxiously bright red digital one, then Sam’s not going to say anything about it. The clock kind of reminds him of neon motel signs insinuating their glow around the cracks of thin window curtains. It’s kind of comforting, in a way.

In what would be the absolute darkness of a windowless room, the red glow of the clock makes it easy to see the shapes of everyone on the bed when Sam half-wakes up to the sound of snoring.

Dean’s right, it’s reassuring to have a small measure of sight on first waking up. And, it makes it easy to pin-point the snoring.  

As usual, it’s Benny. The neat tucked curve of everyone around each other has been disrupted and now Benny lays on his back, smushed between Sam and Dean. He always snores when he’s on his back.

Following suit, Sam rolls over and gently nudges at Benny, gets him to roll to the other side where Dean rolled over with his arm hanging off the edge of the bed. (he was probably the first spoon to roll) As soon as Benny finds Dean to curve against and rests on his side, the snoring quiets to a raspy breathing.

It’s better.

Sam’s back is suddenly cold.

He doesn’t have long to wait until the bed shifts again and Cas is, with a few slaps and grunted curse words, finding his way to curl back around Sam.

“Do you ever tire of it Sam?”

Avatar

sigh

two posts in five minutes on my dash not knowing the difference between ‘effect’ and ‘affect’ as verbs (or, presumably, as nouns)

why can’t everybody just magically know all the things I want them to know so that they don’t make marginal and trivial errors in basic language use that don’t affect (SEE!) my own ability to understand what they intended to communicate

Avatar

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.

Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.

This planet has-or rather had-a problem, which was this: most of the people on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.

And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches.

Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.

And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, one girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything.

Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a terribly stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever.

This is not her story.

Avatar

So, people, let’s talk.

Now, I haven’t seen the new Star Wars movie yet. This is because (I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON AND) I haven’t seen any of the other movies not even the originals and I keep meaning to but so far I haven’t. That said, I’m pretty well aware of them anyway because, well, cultural phenomenon. I’m not really qualified to comment on them, but I am qualified to comment on fandom dynamics and shipping.

So I’d like to recommend something.

Now, I’ve seen a lot of art and fics featuring the two guys out of the three lead characters of the latest movie. Which is great! We love our shipping the two guys with great chemistry, mmm, yes, do the thing. 

The thing is... we love doing that. We’re in the habit of it. We know how to do that.

The impression I get, however, is that here we have the perfect canon opportunity for a polyship. Ie, for not excluding the woman from the pairing on the grounds of ‘getting int he way of the characters with the best chemistry’, or, you know, just ‘being so badly written that it’s hard even for our best writers to reclaim her’. So... polyship! Het and slash and bi! Hoorah! 

We do have habits, people; and one of them is that we are accustomed to reading against the grain - to saying ‘well, het is easy, all you have to do is have him and her onscreen for 2+ minutes together over the course of the film and occasionally meet each other’s eyes and it means The True Love, but I want to queer it, I want to give the non-normative reading’. In this case, however, this works for us even including her, because - love triangle with all three sides included!

Now, I’m not saying ‘you’re evil if you leave her out’, nor am I saying ‘this is a completely novel idea I have had and nobody is doing this! hoorah, me and my surprising ingenuity!’

I’m just saying, if you were considering fic or art or whatever based on the two guys, and aren’t completely opposed to including some het? Take a moment to think if you want to include her as well. Because I guarantee, if you do, it will be extra awesome. :)

Avatar

REBLOG if you're gonna miss Matt Smith as the Doctor.

I want to prove to a friend that he will be dearly missed.

Goodbye, m’dear.

ONLY 360 NOTES!!! WHOVIANS YOU’D BETTER GET OVER HERE AND REBLOG THIS ASAP!!

SOGNAL BOOST THIS WHOVIANS WTF REBLOG ALREADY

I’M STILL NOT READY FOR HIM TO LEAVE

I WILL MISS HIS SMILE

AND MATT SMITH IN GENERAL BECAUSE HE WAS MY FIRST AND FAVORITE DOCTOR

Avatar
whitmerule

Still not over Chris Eccleston.

Avatar

Season 4 posters for Game of Thrones. March 30, 2014 is a long way off. At least people will get over the Red Wedding, right? Right? HAHAHA everything still hurts.

Avatar
whitmerule

... is nobody going to mention that they got the Stark motto wrong? Oh well. They're all dead anyway - not like they'll mind!

Avatar

My window opened soundlessly. I stopped, stepped back, and let it fall closed. It made the usual sound a window makes when it’s closing: loud, obtrusive, and startling enough to get my dad yelling from downstairs.

“Bells, you all right?”

“Yeah,” I called back. I opened my window again. No creaking, still. This was new. This was not good. I frowned at the window. Something would have to be done about this.

That weird Cullen kid was back in school today. He watched me all day like I was some sort of freak. I didn’t have anything caught between my teeth. I had checked during a break between classes in case there was some unsightly lettuce poking its way between my front teeth.

The staring thing was not cool. Everything about him was not cool. I never thought I would actually see a real life embodiment of the lessons in The Gift of Fear that dad had got me for my fifteenth birthday, but here he was, sitting next to me in biology class. Ugh.

Supper was the usual affair: frozen leftover lasagna with textured vegetable protein. Dad like to complain that lasagna was supposed to have meat in it. I told him, again, that if he wanted meat in his lasagna, he was more than welcome to make his own and freeze it. We ended in a stalemate, both eating in silence.

That night, I got down the shotgun from the shelf in the closet, loaded it up, and slipped under my covers, eyes wide open.

I heard the window open. Not because of the now absent squeaking, but because I had set up an old Christmas ornament on the sill. It broke on the ground. I didn’t move and whoever it was what had come in through my window froze, waiting.

I waited, too.

I could hear his footsteps moving across the room as he came closer.

All right, Bella, I told myself, let’s do this.

I swung the shotgun up from beside me, fitted the stock against my shoulder, aimed, and fired.

Edward Cullen fell to the floor of my room. I stood up, shotgun still trained on him.

“What the hell kind of idiot decides to sneak into the house of the police chief?” I demanded. He sort of gurgled.

“Bells?” Dad’s voice again, this time much more agitated. 

“Yeah?” I crossed to the window and slammed it closed so that the only way Cullen could escape was through the door that my dad now stood in, looking wide awake and carrying his own service pistol.

“What the hell is going on.”

“I’d like to file a breaking and entering report, Dad,” I said.

EVERYTHING IS BELLA THE VAMPIRE SLAYER AND NOTHING HURTS. 

IF ONLY THIS WERE REAL

IF ONLY THIS IS HOW THE BOOKS HAD WENT!

Avatar
whitmerule

I feel like this is the appropriate moment to revisit the greatness that is the Buffy vs. Edward video.

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net