It makes me happy when they listen

Jurassic Park (1993)

…

group costume

update for everyone who wanted Worf to have one too

the mcu is the “the curtains are just blue” of cinematic experiences

Is that why it’s so good?

YOU

f scott fitzgerald scared to say god himself is watching nick carraway and his band of socialite hedonists so he makes up an optometrist billboard constantly overlooking them (out of fear, hes scared)

michael crichton throwing out a version of jurassic park that just says “science, without restraint, can be dangerous. and dinosaurs are cool”

edgar allen poe’s first draft of telltale heart: “if you kill someone…..you might feel bad about it/:” but he starts trembling looking at it and says “no…..i’m too much of a pussy…to say this”

When some lemurs running in reverse…

If we were to rate movies just by how accurate their titles are, Drive would be considered the greatest movie ever made

Reservoir Dogs on the other hand would be considered one of the worst films ever put to tape

Where's my fucking reservoir, Quinton?

Jurassic Park gets a score of 2.86/10, because only 2 of the 7 dinosaur species in the movie are actually from the Jurassic

Holes, 10/10

unless you’re a topologist, in which case they’re all indentations

Toy Story, 10/10

is story about toys

The Hunchback of Notre Dame, 10/10

he sure the fuck is

newsies 10/10

Spiderman 2 ('04)

5/10 only one Spiderman is actually present

Kill Bill 1 (2003)

1/10 No Bill is killed in this movie

Kill Bill 2 (2004)

10/10 A Masterpiece, Bill is indeed killed.

gays dress like everyone from Jurassic Park tbh

Fair point

Not even sure if these are types of gay, but here we are

You forgot the T. Rex

Omg you’re right, I forgot the T-Rex!!!

@the-only-useful-lesbian

The dinosaur is an amazing punchline but Dennis Nedry not making it on this post is pure ‘Hawaiian Shirt Gay’ erasure.

This is a huge step up from Bartman

Absolute gem in the tags

Jurassic World did the Avatar thing where it made a gajillion dollars and left no cultural footprint whatsoever. Name your favorite Jurassic World character. What was your favorite line. It evaporated despite everyone seeing it.

WRONG fav character was the extra that ran away from the pterodactyls with two margheritas in hand

Gotta do everything myself around here

So, I went into this guy’s Wikipedia page, because he looked familiar. And there’s this big “Controversies” section, so I was preparing myself to read that even the margaritas/pterodactyls guy has sexually assaulted someone. But it turns out that he hasn’t. However, he:

- Has been sued for copyright infringement for a ‘blasphemous’ musical rendition of a monologue from the 1950s

- He was on a plane with U2′s Bono and his family, and the plane was shot by the Jamaican police, who believed they were smuggling marijuana. He wrote a song about the incident.

- He’s actually a singer, and his better known song in called MARGARITAVILLE. He also owns the Margaritaville Cafe restaurant chain. And has licensed Margaritaville Tequila, Margaritaville Footwear, and a Margaritaville Foods. He owns the Margaritaville Casino, has released a “Margaritaville Online” game, and he wrote and starred in a musical called “Escape to Margaritaville”

- He also wrote a song called “Math Suks”, which was condemned by the US National Council of Teachers of Mathematics for its alleged negative effect on children’s education. 

- He was thrown out of a basketball game he was watching for using blasphemous language in front of kids.

- And he was detained by French customs for allegedly carrying over 100 pills of ecstasy. Although he was released after paying a fine, and, according to him, the pills were a B-vitamin supplement.

So, yeah, that was refreshing controversies section-wise, but now I don’t know what to do with all that information.

Maybe its my age, but i’m a little concerned that the fact he is a singer and wrote Margaritaville wasn’t prior knowledge and is considered a controversy

Unmute! (It’s the Jurassic Park theme)

This is cracking me up..why on earth did they delete his response in the movie!? hes so offended LOL

UNMUTE THIS

sCuM?!

I don’t know why it cracks me up so much that Han’s first reaction is not to attack, or to protect Leia, but to hold her back, clearly assuming that she’s just going to fling herself into the middle of a dozen armored Stormtroopers and start trying to kill them with her bare hands.

To be fair, Leia would. Without hesitation

the only thing keeping me on twitter is this account

I live for these

ah, how could I forget the best one

and then there's just this:

have some more

Sometimes I remember that there’s a massive beef in the paleontological community between Jack Horner and Robert Bakker and it’s so big that when they both worked as advisers on the Jurassic Park films, Spielberg made 2 characters based on them and had a T. rex eat Bakker’s character as a favour to Horner.

“The bearded paleontologist Dr. Robert Burke, who is eaten by a Tyrannosaurus rex in Steven Spielberg’s film The Lost World: Jurassic Park, is an affectionate caricature of Bakker.

In real life, Bakker has argued for a predatory T. rex, while Bakker’s rival paleontologist Jack Horner views it as primarily a scavenger.

According to Horner, Spielberg wrote the character of Burke and had him killed by the T. rex as a favor for Horner. After the film came out, Bakker recognized himself in Burke, loved the caricature, and actually sent Horner a message saying, ‘See, I told you T. rex was a hunter!’.”

God this is still funny

Academia is very serious

I adore this, because only in a paleotological fued can both parties be satisfied with a caricature of one being eaten by a t-rex.

why do little kids always tantrum scream like they’re reenacting jurassic park

Their emotions are too big for their little bodies y'all

They feel just as intensely as we do

Well maybe they should get bigger bodies

They do. It takes several years.

Several years??? Typical millennial laziness