a spell of hubris

When the art of getting-out-of-trouble involved the confidence and grace of doing exactly what they were supposed to be doing at any given moment, James was the talker. He’s stand in front of the other Marauders, cool as you please, and explain to Professor McGonagall, or Slughorn, or Madame Pomfery, or even Filch that they had a perfect right to be where they were. 

When the art of getting-out-of-trouble involved camaraderie and the invocation of the fact that the boys and whoever towered over them with an arched eyebrow were on the same side, and were in fact, friends, Professor, don’t you remember that time?, there was no one better than Sirius at getting them out of tight spots. 

When the art of getting-out-of-trouble involved a subtle challenge of authority, and an iron-clad literal understanding of the rules, it was up to Remus to explain why it wasn’t really after hours, was it, professor?

When the art of getting-out-of-trouble involved seamlessly creating a sob story in which they were the most sympathetic of protagonists, Peter was their man. He knew how to use Remus’s “condition” or Sirius’s “family situation” or the budding war, or even missing supper to their advantage. It worked nearly every time, and saved them from more detentions than it should have. 

After a few years of experience, the boys began to excel at knowing which of their various expertise would be needed at any given moment, and at stepping forward when it was their moment. 

Peter Pettigrew suspects for years that there’s something inside of him that’s not as whole or as good as his friends - or at least, James and Remus - but he never lets on. He plays the role of dutiful friend so well he almost believes it himself, throwing all of his Gryffindor passion into being the person they see when they look at him.

He lets them believe that he’s as good as they are, that he’s whole, even though something bitter inside of him burns and he wonders why.

Every time he makes the right choice, every time he does something kind, every time his friends continue to look at him with pride…he wonders if he’s finally moved on from the burned-out core of him.

The twisted thing inside of him doesn’t show itself until he’s offered more power than he could ever dream, but up until then, he lives as if he doesn’t suspect it at all. He lives the regret, and wishes more than anything that he would have given James some sort of clue before it was too late.