a spell of hubris

Two titans kissing in a tree~ (under a sheet)

"Who Is Superman? A Private Interview with Lois Lane" a fancomic about hope and connection. I've had this story in mind for so long and I'm very excited to be able to share it at last. Thank you for reading, and happy Lunar New Year!

Aah thanks for all the love guys ;_; in case anyone's interested in more historical context I recommend these New Naratif articles on the May 1998 Riots in Indonesia, and "My Name Is..." a short comic on the history behind Chinese-Indonesian names.

this is an appreciation post for the Nein and their crow's feet

do NOT start commentary about their ages, this is a crow's feet appreciation post

it's incredible that tumblr fandom went from DESPERATELY trying to see ANY sort of queer love in the shows we liked, to having shows—high budget, well-made, interesting, mainstream shows staring known actors—that are ABOUT queer love. explicitly, without argument. and just ten years later.

i saw (and reblogged) a post about how GO, ofmd, and wwdits are the new superwholock and i havent stopped thinking about it. cuz i was there, i was in the trenches back in the day. i was there when the writers and actors made fun of us for seeing on screen chemistry and perfect stories to set up romances. they all humored us then shat on us and saw us as a joke. a bunch of weirdo faggy teens that don't think two men can just be friends.

and now look at us. we're seeing the on screen chemistry and it's REAL. it's ON PURPOSE. these ARE romantic stories about queer people. we're not projecting or have wishful thinking... it's TRUE!! it was written and directed and edited and acted that way in earnest. i will take NO SHIT regarding these shows and people's love for them.

and do you know WHY these shows are being made now? these well thought out, feels-real, non-pandering queer stories? it's BECAUSE OF WHAT WE DID ten+ years ago. a lot of queer media never got the green light to be made because execs don't think there's enough of an audience. that more people will dislike the gays than like them. and we've shown them that that's unequivocally untrue. the outcry we had for all those years, the reviews we left, the statements we made, the backlash, it gave show runners ammunition to say "hey. people will watch this. they will like it. let us make it."

I can’t wait to see this trio in action next year 😭😭

STAR TREK MATTE PAINTINGS APPRECIATION THE ORIGINAL SERIES — painted by Albert Whitlock

I miss them terribly

Recently started watching the Mighty Nein campaign and I love Molly’s visuals

I’ve written about it again and again and again and again, but what makes the Murderbot Diaries so special is how compassionate it is. It is a series that is essentially about growth and healing from trauma, about someone who has been hurt and abused all its life having its pain recognized by the narrative and being allowed to learn, over and over, that when it is ready to reach out it will find that there are still kind people in the world who will answer that need with care. 

There are thousands of other, crueller, more callous stories out there that will tell us the complete opposite. That no one can be trusted, that everyone will fail and disappoint you, that you’re on your own, that the world is full of selfish, short-sighted, small-minded people who care only about themselves, and that you must become equally selfish, short-sighted, and small-minded to survive. Some of these stories are the very real experiences we accrue in real life. In stories like these, no one ever helps you– if they do, it’s incompetent and useless, or going to cost you something you can’t afford to pay. In stories like these, you’ll only fall if you try to lean on others. You must reject them instead, and one day you’ll fall anyway.

But that’s a miserable way to live. None of us are born alone, and none of us are fit to survive alone, and none of us can live without each other. And even at its most cynical and anti-social, Murderbot lives this truth. It rejects the senseless vengeance of the mass murder spree, it finds context for its emotions in the stories of media, it reaches out–wherever possible–to help those it can help, trying earnestly to do its best by others. And in doing so, it finds itself surrounded by genuine friends and allies it can rely on. Humans, bots, other constructs–whole communities of people who will never abandon it as easily as it fears.

It’s so important to have stories as compassionate, as real, and as true as the Murderbot Diaries- so that when real kindness is offered to us with an outstretched hand, we can recognize the evidence of our eyes, and trust enough to reach back and take that offered hand. And one day, to be healed enough to offer that hand to others in their turn.

“Come home, dear…" 

 One day I’ll finish it… In the meantime, here’s some shadowghast babies :>

God, I am obsessed with the implications behind Caleb waiting for and wondering about "a visit" from Essek because there's so much of an understanding in that, there's something established.

This doesn't have the feeling of pining in the sense that you're uncertain about crossing a line or whether a step further was welcomed, but instead an acknowledgement that there are many factors involved that would make such a relationship unconventional, and recognizing that what that looks like one week to another changes, and respecting how that shifts.

Perhaps there is a bit of pining involved, that for the feeling that they're not really going to get normalcy, that this is what they've been afforded; but this isn't really pining, it's just an extension of the grief and guilt they're both carrying.

But in spite of that, here is this open invitation, with perhaps some nebulous boundaries as to what that entails week to week—but it's an invitation that both seems to be well established and is also clearly accepted some of the time, given that Caleb is able to anticipate that, though it's unclear how often.

It's just very careful in a way that isn't at all hesitant, though perhaps it might look that way from the outside—it's meeting the other person where they are with grace, and knowing that, if or when it becomes necessary, they'll offer you the same grace in return.

Headcanon that as soon as Caleb buys a house to settle down with in Rexxentrum, he begins working on creating a brand new teleportation circle that connects to nowhere else in the world, and painstakingly carves it into the floor of his living room.

Once that's finished, he starts every day for an entire year by picking up pastries from a nearby bakery and then casting the same three spells: scry, teleport, teleportation circle. The first two bring him safely to Fjord's boat, The Nein Heroez. He stays for an hour, enjoying the company of Jester, Fjord and Kingsley, then casts teleportation circle to return to his home and continues his day teaching at the Soltryce Academy.

When you cast teleportation circle in the same place every day for a year, it becomes permanent. After 365 days of pastries and friendship, there is a teleportation circle that connects Fjord and Jester (and Kingsley, for as long as he stays) directly to Caleb's home.

After that first year, he repeats the process with The Blooming Grove, with the strangest plants and seasonings he can find in the market instead of pastries. Caduceus is delighted to have company, and Caleb finds that tea at the temple is a wonderfully relaxing way to begin the day.

Both of those first two years, he has weekly dinners with either Beauregard and Yasha or the Brenatto family. The third year, he dedicates to connecting his home with Veth and Yeza's new seaside house in Nicodranas.

Beau and Yasha are tricky for a while, because Beau has a tendency to be constantly moving around. But eventually they settle down in Zadash, and Caleb happily christens their home with a circle as well.

By the fifth year after Caleb buys his home, it takes him only one 3rd level and three 5th level spells to assemble all his friends in one place. One 3rd level Sending to Jester reaches everyone else, as she is more than happy to expend almost all of her spell slots spreading the word. She and Fjord usually arrive without his help, aided by Orly who had surprisingly picked up the spell at some point in his travels. In the same boat are Veth and Yeza, with our without Luc in tow depending on whether Marion was busy. Veth is quite accomplished at magic by then and can cast the spell on her own. A little over an hour before they all arrive, Caleb uses his own spell slots to travel to Beau and Yasha, takes an hour to restore his spell slot, and brings them along to the Blooming Grove to collect Caduceus and the dinner he's cooked before finally returning to a living room that is invariably newly packed with life and cheer.

He starts a roaring fire in the fireplace, serves them his best wine while Caduceus sets the table, and sends a message to Essek to come downstairs before the soup gets cold.

It's not something they can do every day, but it's something they all do at least once a month for as long as they can manage it. Everyone stays the night in the bedrooms Caleb set aside for that express purpose, and in the morning Veth takes her family home and Caleb teleports Caduceus and Jester and Fjord back to their temple and ship respectively. Beau and Yasha stay a few days so Beau can check in with the Rexxentrum archives, before Caleb takes them home as well.

Professor Caleb Widogast has a teleportation circle in his living room and a heart full to bursting with the love of his friends.

This Ace Week I am once again so overjoyed that we have the ace-spec characters of Critical Role.

I’m so happy that we have canon aroace Caduceus Clay. Cad, who tramples happily over every awful stereotype of aroaces being cold and emotionless by being so full of warmth, deliberately kind to every plant and person he encounters. Who destroys every ‘unnatural’ stereotype by being the voice of the goddess of nature; who defies every ‘murderous aroace villain’ trope by being the party healer and cook, the Nein’s lifegiver. Who’s shown to have absolutely nothing missing from his life, because his love for his garden and his work and his families, both blood and found, fulfills him utterly.

I’m so grateful that we have canon demi mlm Essek Thelyss. After all the times I’ve heard ‘aces are just unattractive losers trying to cover for the fact that they can’t get a relationship’… here’s Essek, attractive and fashionable and charismatic, with his designer robes and well-manicured feet. Essek who’s shown to be a bit reticent about flaunting his good looks, like he’s just not interested in making his body available to people’s attraction, and whose friends don’t pressure him when all he’s comfy with is foot-dipping, or with lifting up bits of his shirt. Essek whose entire character arc is defined by a love that makes him change completely. Canon Demi Essek who’s shown building that deep bond of trust and knowledge with Caleb before their relationship begins.

I’m so glad we have canon demisexual Keyleth. Someone who has a ‘mostly asexual’ relationship with Vax, a relationship with ‘far less focus on the physical’ - and it’s shown as a deeply loving partnership which both of them are totally happy in and fulfilled by. Keyleth who gets so many scenes of nonsexual intimacy with Vax, who obviously has a relationship where she can say ‘I don’t really wanna have sex rn, can we just cuddle and I can pet your wings’ and he’ll go ‘fuck yeah.’ Keyleth who’s shown to care so much, about everything, who’s so often the moral core of her party, trying to push them to do what’s right, even when she’s not sure what ‘right’ is.

After all the tiring stereotypes and the misconceptions… CR gave us multiple aces. Aces with different identities, with different experiences and traits that different aces in the real world can relate to. Each of them destroying the aphobic stereotypes and tropes in different ways. Each enriching the world they’re in, enriching the overall representation by being there together.

So happy Ace Week to these funky little canon ace-specs. I’m so glad they’re here.

[ID: A digital illustration of Beauregard Lionett and Yasha Nydoorin from Critical Role. They're kissing, Yasha's holding Beau's head and Beau's hand on Yasha's back. End description.]

Missing them 💙🖤

Beau has definitely grown on me the most of all the PCs since episode one, and I’m really excited to see where the campaign takes her