Hey do you write fanfic perchance?
May we please have a link to one such fanfic?
No.
The really funny part is that I got a big surge of hits on my LinkedIn profile immediately after posting that "no", which – if those events are related – raises two questions:
Peer reviewing these tags cause this is the third time I've seen this on my dash, and these tags are what made me actually watch the video
How I join skeins
pretty obsessed with this one
important images I've discovered:
hello i would like to add
who put this rodent in high heels
these guys are so fucking animal
IMAGINE A LIL PIXIE RIDING ONE INTO BATTLE
Forgot to say that in addition to me thinking Dracula can fuck right off whenever he says Jonathan Harker is his friend, I'm also adopting that stance when he says Peter Hawkins is also his friend. Peter is my friend also now, not yours. I'm taking Jonathan, I'm taking Peter, I'm taking everybody. Nobody is friends with you, Dracula, we're all friends. We're going to go trainspotting and eating paprika straight out of the jar and you're not invited, because nobody likes you and nobody wants to hang out with you, including your own brides
So, Jonathan's letter that Dracula burnt today, that was the shorthand one, right? Like was Dracula mad because he does know shorthand and now he knows Johnathan is on to him, or was it 'an insult to friendship' because he thinks Jonathan has a secret made up best friend language with Mina like besties do when they're little kids, but not one with him and he's feeling left out?
Can't decide if I want to picture Dracula climbing down the walls like a lizard as him going so fast his cape stays in place like it should, or gravity wins and his cape has fallen down over his head and he can't see shit and Jonathan has to struggle not to laugh at the same time as having the horrifying realisation that he's being held prisoner by an actual monster and not just a regular creepy old man
Getting ridiculously jealous of Dracula saying "my friend Jonathan Harker" in today's email. Fuck off you hairy palmed twat, that's my friend Jonathan Harker, not yours
“You should give him a chance. He has a good heart!”
“I’m not in need of a transplant.”
“I’ll find out how to end your immortality, how to take you down once and for all-”
“No you won’t.”
“Yes I will-”
The villain crouched down beside them, and rested a gentle hand on their quivering chest. “Much older and wiser minds have tried and failed. Much older. There is no way to kill me, no way for me to die.” They patted, twice, almost comforting. “But if you find a way, give me a ring. I’m always happy to try again.”
A dog was the perfect surveillance excuse. Walking it past villain’s various operations had revealed access points, cameras, traps, and employees that the hero had never seen before. They were just congratulating themself when the dog perked up and then yanked.
“Sorry!” the hero cried, as their dog jumped up at a very expensive suit. “So sorry, my dog just really seems to have taken a real interest in you.” The hero looked up at their victim, and their heart stopped.
The villain’s eyes sparkled knowingly. “Just the dog?”
'Shit. Fuck. Shit. He's on to us, or he's just flirting. Say something normal. Be charming. Claw this back.'
Their thoughts were running away from them. They had to say something.
"Well, actually, those pigeons in that tree seem to be watching you really closely too. You must have a way with dogs. And birds. Maybe all animals. I wouldn't know. I don't know you."
Villain's eyes lost their knowing sparkle as confusion set it. Their response wasn't as normal as it could have been.
"Uh, thank you." He paused. "I think."
Okay, he was confused. He was on the back foot. Things were going well.
"You're welcome. I'm a little jealous in fact. This begging mutt is only interested in me when I have food on my hand." The hero pulled back on the lead as the dog made another effort to scrabble at the villain's suit.
"You know, it seems like you're struggling to control your dog." Hero was offended, but it was better to let villain think them an irresponsible pet owner than correct them. Hero would be able to rein in a dog with ease, this stranger in the park couldn't, and so, they must be totally different people. "I actually train animals in my spare time. I'll give you my card. Call me, if you'd like. I won't charge for the first session while we get to know each other - see if we like one another."
Hero was pretty sure they weren't imagining the suggestive tone. They accepted the card Villain offered. It actually had his mobile phone number on it.
"Thank you." Hero said sincerely. "I'll definitely give you a call."
WIP: Open Seas
Pairing: Tess x Dorian
Words: 744
Not canon bc these two don’t get their shit together until the absolute last possible moment BUT they do end up this situation at one point.
Tess rearranged the blankets that had been stashed in the rowboat so they covered Dorian more completely. She could handle a cold; he was already fighting a gunshot wound and the associated blood loss.
“Don’t have to do that,” Dorian said. He still sounded weak, but better than he had when the mermaids had first dragged him from the water. His limbs splayed awkwardly across the bottom boards as he tried to leave her space and be comfortable at the same time.
“Of course I do,” she replied. “What kind of friend would I be if I fished you out of the ocean only to let you freeze to death because I didn’t want to share the blankets? Idalah would kill me.”
“I’m not licking your boots, that’s so unsanitary. Pick something else.”
Supervillain raised an eyebrow. “Are you really attempting to negotiate your own unconditional surrender?”
“Look, I respect the power play you have going on, but that’s just nasty. I’ll get on my knees and whatever, but licking your boots not happening. Who knows where they’ve been? Ew.”
“Don’t.”
The human froze, wobbling on one foot in front of the control panel. “What?”
“Touch anything,” the alien replied with a low growl, flashing their teeth long enough to show off all 8 extended canines .
The human gave a little scoff but backed up against the ship wall anyway. “From one predator species to another, you’re not that scary.”
You drop a small piece of food on the floor, and decide to kick it under the oven/couch/whatever because you can’t be bothered to pick it up. As you’re walking away, you hear a very quiet “Thank you!” from under it.
“No problem,” I say, the words passing out of my mouth on autopilot, before my brain engages and I freeze.
I turn, and look at the fridge. It seems to be the same fridge that was here when I moved in.
I mean, I’m also kind of embarrassed. I never do that, I know that’s how you get roaches, but my back hurts so bad that getting up and down is next to impossible, much less bending over. “Um, you holding up okay down there?” I ask.
There was silence.
“I know that we’re probably the only apartment in the building that doesn’t have a bug problem. That’s, well, that’s you, right?”
Again, silence. But I know I heard it.
“Listen, I can’t really bend over right now, but if you’re down there and hungry, like, there’s half a rotisserie chicken in there that’s about to go bad. I was going to throw it away, but if you could use it-”
“Yesssss. Please.”
Well. Whatever it is, it’s well-mannered, anyway.
“You took on a sidekick,” Supervillain snarled. “You know I don’t share.”
“Neither do I,” retorted Superhero, “but out of the two of us, I’m not the one who got married this weekend!”
The hero frowned at the sidekicks flinch. "Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you." They stroked their protégée's hair softly.
The sidekick knew all too well how that hand could twist and hit and hurt in ways no one would see. 'Not hurt you?' Maybe not now.
"The forums think we like each other." The hero said casually. "There's 'unbridled tension in every look.'"
They didn't know what to say to that. Fear and love were interchangeable when viewed through a mask.
The soft hand wrenched the sidekicks head until their gazes locked.
"What do you think? Is there romantic tension between us?" The hero's look made it clear that there was only one acceptable answer.
