L O L A

courtney, thank you!

i did one of these a while back but i'm going to try and work out another 3 random things about myself that i haven't already overshared on the internet (not an easy task!).

1. i'm an oldest sibling, which is very much not the energy i think i give off (i think oldest children seem to have it all together and i have...nothing together lol). i'm always intrigued to know what energy people think i give off though.

2. i keep getting entj on my m/b score which just seems so wrong for me but every time i take the test i get the same thing! i'm definitely an extrovert but thinking instead of feeling?? idk. i don't feel like it's right and yet the test continues to torture me.

3. i've always wanted to get my nose pierced, but my high school boyfriend told me i would look ugly so i never got it and now i work in a profession that won't let me get it so...rip nose ring HAHA

thanks for the ask! gonna send the qs on but...slightly revised hehe.

oh this is such a sweet idea, thanks friend!

hmm 3 random facts:

tell me three facts about yourself! i'm intruiged!

hello sara! thanks for the ask! appreciate you 💜

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

ahhh okay. i have concurrent wips right now but i'm gonna go with eurotrip (specifically chapter 9 that i'm writing right now) because the other one is a lowkey secret? idk it's very hard to share snippets from that fic without ruining the premise.

🍸🤒⛪️🏖️🏥 what a strange array of emojis!

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

i'm super lucky to have a bunch of people to turn to if i have problems but shout out to my ride or dies @rmd-writes for dealing with my mistakes and beta-ing like almost every single fic ever and @celeritas2997 because i come to her with every rogue WIP idea i have and she's always like YES GREAT IDEA! even if its an objectively bad idea 😌 (see: 50 shares of grey but not fic KSHDFKAJ)

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

ooft. um. probably characterisation that i just can't. get around - i mean i am pretty tolerant in AU situations but some things i can't vibe with. i'll exit a fic immediately if it has sensitive material that isn't properly tagged - as an anxious girl i hate the jumpscare lmao.

writer ask game

hello my beloved! you have caught me at a good time aka attempting to fix my back by rolling on a spiky ball. it's deeply uncomfortable! I need distractions!

💌 how many unread emails do you have right now?

work - 6, personal - 19 (mostly spam)

🍄 headcanon for one of your favourite ships/pairings?

I've thought about this a lot but I actually reckon that neither TK nor Carlos is particularly minimalistic. I think they like the aesthetic, but they both have an affinity for certain things. TK grew up in NYC so I think he's used to not having a tonne of stuff (particularly because Owen seems like one of those people who likes minimalism unless it's skincare or kitchen utensils) but I reckon he hoards photos and keepsakes and little things like that. Carlos, on the other hand, is one of those guys with like a "nice" set of stuff and an "every day" set of stuff, even though there's only 2 people living in that loft. I reckon he'd have a bookshelf if he had the space and maybe more home decor? he seems like a home decor guy. I think Carlos has way too many chopping boards and serving ware, but he thinks a lot of Owen's kitchen gadgets are pointless 😌

🦋 share something that has been on your heart and mind lately?

I get existential about a lot of things but right now I'm wondering why education is so damn expensive and why, as 17 / 18 year olds (ish) we're expected to make a decision about our entire life / accumulate a whole lot of debt to get into a career we might not even like. I reckon everyone should slow down a bit and work out what they really want to do (wish i could tell this to my past self).

🔪 what's the weirdest topic you researched for fic?

I learned to card count (basic theory, hi lo and running counts) for a fic which was...a challenge HAHA.

writer ask game

hello, lovely!! thank you for this ask <3

🧃share some personal lore you never posted about before

i think a weird thing about me is that i'm incredibly conflict avoidant - i HATE conflict, but i also have TERRIBLE white line fever haha. i'm so, so, so competitive when it comes to sports. i used to do a lot of athletics, competitive track and road cycling, rowing and other sports, and i would be absolutely feral while i was competing. as soon as i was off the course i came back to my normal self but it's like i become another person for a bit. my inner demon perhaps idk. also, social sport is never a good idea for me. i WILL take it too seriously.

🌸 do you have any pets?

yes i have a 9 year old black rescue cat called potato and he is my entire world. i never meant to adopt him, but he kind of weaselled his way in anyway and now he runs my entire life.

📚 what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

i don't really use my notes app! but it was apparently 'blood test' and 'boob thing'. LMAO!!!! i don't know what that means!!!

[writer ask game]

i haven't looked...and yet i feel that there is going to be an attack in here somewhere 👀

🥑 you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

idk, y'all live so far away. i think it would have to be @celeritas2997. she wouldn't like it, but she's going to have to live with it. plus, she'd visit me in prison when i inevitably couldn't deal with the guilt and turned myself in.

🦷 share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on?

if you don't mind travelling in the back of the plane (read: waiting for everyone to de-plane before you) and you're travelling with one other person, make sure you check the seating options at the rear of the aircraft when you select your seats. sometimes in bigger planes (A380s etc) there are options for two seats side by side right down the back. then you don't have to have a random sit with you and you can go to the bathroom guilt free 😌 this hack has made my life so much better on long-haul (read: 10 hour plus) flights.

🥐 name one internet reference that will always make you laugh? 

i have a 'iconic memes' folder on my phone and all of them make me lose my shit. i have a soft spot for those really stupid medieval memes.

🐚 do you like or dislike surprises?

obvious from my anxious girl aesthetic but i HATE surprises. unless someone wants to organise a surprise birthday party for me because i hate organising things for my birthday (which is why i haven't had a birthday thing in like 15 years).

thanks rae!

[writer's ask game]

hello mj! thank you for your enquiry. unlike my usual response time, i have not taken 5-12 business years to get back to you, yay!

🧸 what's the fastest way to become my mutual?

it's very simple - you just talk to me hehe. i am an irredeemable extrovert and i love meeting new people and learning all about everyone's lives in a way that may come off creepy but is just genuine interest. i have this weird thing where i feel the need to always find balance in my conversations - i want the person i'm talking to to feel valued and know that i care about what they're saying, but i'm also just very curious. so i'm sorry if anyone has found this offputting, i'm not ACTUALLY trying to work out where you live and your social security number, i just want to know you.

🪐 name three good things in your life right now?

my partner, my (relatively) healthy body and the fact that my cat is going through a phase of wanting to sleep in my arms.

🏜️ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

literally anything, i'm not fussy as long as it isn't mean. i love all comments - short comments, long comments, comments that quote things, comments that make funny jokes, comments that just consist of keysmashes. they are all precious to me 💜

thanks, MJ!

writer's ask game

hehe hello michelle. this one was the best question - so good i'll answer it twice!

20. oh no! the kids are hooked on your fics. what behaviours are their parents now concerned about??

i regret to inform the parents that the kids are now:

spoiler: the kids are not okay.

an uno reverse! how very dare! thank you, sara!

17. I don't actually have that many fics, but i will assign my 7 most recent with terrible explanations:

a. the rainbow fish (tarlos) - a yeti because i simply couldn't ignore it (wrote this fic so fast, loved every minute).

b. double, double, acting trouble (firstprince) - a british big cat because the concept is so outlandish it can't be real.

c. ALTA (tarlos) - the mongolian death worm because it invaded my brain and caused me so many issues but i couldn't get rid of it. like a bad animorphs book.

d. cursed is a state of mind (firstprince) - mothman. it's sinister, and it's cursed and no one in their right mind would want to give a giant, evil bird caffeine.

e. (un)professional services (tarlos) - bigfoot, for the same reason as (a) - could not look away, could not stop writing.

f. catch and release (firstprince) - a champy, because its a teeny tiny monster in a lake (and this fic is about rowing).

g. oh baby i'm a fool for you (tarlos) - i mean...i think this one is obvious. the loch ness monster because this fic was about as cursed as the whole concept of resume and imprinting.

21. I'd be chowing down on ALTA, purely because it's the biggest and it would help me survive the longest.

ah dalawa, thank you for the cursed ask. my apologies for my lateness, pls forgive 🙏

8. have you ever been commissioned by the devil to write? if so, what was your payment?

not one single person asked for a fic about tarlos watching twilight, so that MUST have been the devil. also, i wrote a fic about card counting once - it's based in Sin City, so i'm guessing the devil had a hand in that one too. anyway, the asshole left me with nothing (not even my sanity) so...i'm still waiting to collect.

5. when future scholars analyse your work, which one will they find most puzzling?

definitely down for the count because everyone and their dog knows i can't do math, and yet i was like HMM let's write a fic all about COUNTING?! poor @rmd-writes was like 'um im gonna assume this math is right...' and i was like... that's dangerous for everyone involved.

i will choose every single opportunity i can to attack you dkjfsh but yes, unfortunately my devilish plans were foiled in this instance...

9. ensnare a mutual in your longest fic

my longest fic currently is ALTA, and I think I'd put @liminalmemories21 in it, given that lim is an expert at writing mysteries (see: knave verse) so i'd trust her to help carlos solve the crime (rather than hinder it). she'd be a valuable addition to the team, and in her downtime, maybe she could sit in the corner chanting at tarlos to kiss, kiss, kiss and put us all out of our misery.

my longest fic will probably be Eurotrip (provided that I finish it). If I could put a mutual in that, I'd choose @rmd-writes and @celeritas2997 and send them to visit all their mutuals while they travel europe with firstprince.

20. oh no! the kids!

unfortunately...the kids are now using olive oil for things that olive oil should not be used for!!! lube is right there!!! olive oil is unsanitary!!! (see: living at the centre of a wound still fresh).

omg HAHA thank you so much! AGCD is my absolute favourite so I guess he's an adorable, perfect, amazing trash gremlin 😌😌😌 and HENRY LOVES IT. SOULMATE SHIT.

anon, this ask is everything to me 😭 you see my deepest fic insecurity and you soothe it, 1 million forehead kisses for you 💋 😘

i hope you're having the best day/night, wherever you are x

I think it would be a simple question of Speak for Yourself and The Ring-In and I would go to the therapist and say, "My first fics are the most popular - does this mean I have gotten progressively WORSE at writing??? What's wrong with me????"

To which the therapist would say, "Um, I'm a therapist, not an expert on writing fanfiction."

So, I guess we would be off to a bad start?

[cursed asks, if you like]

i had SO much fun pestering everyone with these yesterday i kind of forgot to do my own, so sorry for lateness!

2. If you put all your fics into a crockpot, what would be the resulting soup?

well, straight up the soup is very gay. it's a homosexual minestrone and that's exactly how i want it. i think the base would be a mash up between comedy and pining, with a dash of truly unhinged. the annoying celery bits would be slow burn and the yummy pasta shells would be the smut that i try to make different every time. the herbs on top (just a sprinkling) would be explicit and enthusiastic consent, themes of self doubt, finding your person and choosing to love someone on purpose, despite their flaws.

24. If your WIP fell into a vat of toxic waste, how would it change?

i'm going to go with Eurotrip - uhh okay so they get on a yacht at some stage in spain and during the charter orcas surround their boat and sink it to the bottom of the ocean. the orcas don't eat them because there's basically no evidence of that happening in the wild, they're just salty about boats on their turf so they break it. alex and henry become stranded on a remote island before realising after like 5 days that they're actually just on a less touristy iberian island and that civilisation isn't that far and they don't have to act like tom hanks in castaway. anyway, they get themselves stitched up, have a fight with their insurance companies about the boat and then go back to their respective countries, never to speak to each other again.

[cursed asks, if you want]

[orcas sinking boats because they're badasses]

hello jen. thank you for this ask - it's a hard toss up for me.

i could scare them away with the threat of being electrocuted in the shower, much like the risks TK took with a non waterproof vibrator (waterproof - remember when i didn't know how to spell vibrator??? iconic times).

also double, double, acting trouble because i just think it would be truly concerning to want to date someone who spent weeks dreaming up an underwater adaptation of macbeth purely to write a fanfiction about characters from a completely different source text. like i think that says a lot about me as a person and i'm not sure it's very good.

[i've been bothering everyone with some very cursed asks today, but feel free to send me one if you like!]

good morning! thanks for the ask! the needles are out and i am hobbling around because my quads are SO tight - the physio: 'oooh this is a good one' me: 'this fucking sucks actually'.

my favourite overseas meal - not sure exactly, but probably something i ate in vietnam or thailand. i had some truly incredible meals over there and SO cheap too. 309428/10 would go back for food alone (but also other reasons).

stormz giving us so much life! my favourite song is prob mr skeng for the vibes, but i also first things first, cold and cigarettes and cush (kehlani and lily allen 😭) the lyric that always gets me is the 'you was fighting with your girl when i was fighting my depression' just before the pause because it hits. but i just saw stormzy at laneway and let me tell you the energy in vossi bop for 'i could never die, i'm chuck norris / fuck the government and fuck boris' was high key haha. also, i'm not sure if you've heard one take freestyle - that song is so random but it's one of my favourites of his!

my very first album was on TAPE (that's how old i am - it was britney's baby one more time). my first CD was s club 7 - bring it all back. what was yours?

thanks for the ask!