Traintober Day 12: Something Borrowed - Toad

This was originally supposed to be, like, three different essays ("Brakevan Decorum", "Top 3 Smartest Guys on the NWR - #2 Will Surprise You!", and "The Great Western Mafia") but @littlewestern and I decided Day 12: Something Borrowed was a great day to talk about Toad.

Why "Something Borrowed"? Because on the NWR, Toad so often is.

While we most often see Toad working with Oliver, upon his arrival in Sodor, he declared that he'd like to be Douglas' brakevan. Sir Topham Hatt does seem to approve of this and I think that suggests something about how he'd like his railway to run. However, in practice, the NWR seems not to have enough brakevans that Douglas could have one all to himself.

I think that Toad assuming he could just be one engine's brakevan is because that was a more common arrangement on the GWR and perhaps to an extent on British Rail. We do see an example of a mainland engine having a dedicated brakevan in Samson and Bradford. If they have the stock, it's probably a very good idea to pair engines with brakevans for the same reasons one might assign an dedicated crew to an engine. Having established rapport between an engine and his brakevan can only make them work together better. Particularly when it comes to engines who need more guidance and insight into their work like Samson, pairing them with a brakevan who has a compatible personality can really make things run more smoothly.

Unfortunately - no matter how much Hatt may admire the Great Western Way of doing things - the NWR does not have enough stock to allocate Toad to Douglas only. Still, Toad can be Douglas' brakevan in spirit... and given that Douglas has been known to smash less mannerly brakevans to bits, I doubt Toad has much trouble finding himself available when Douglas needs him.

Toad's manners are also, I think, a relic of Great Western sensibility. It's really quite fascinating though because if Toad's decorum is typical of GW brakevans, it would seem to indicate a delicate balance in priorities that other railways seemed unable to hit.

That is to say, Toad always refers to his engines with an honorific (always Mr. Oliver or Mr. James or the rare Miss Marion) and is mostly soft-spoken and deferential to their leadership when back-ending their trains. He treats them in a way akin to a butler, as though his presence is a service he's providing them. That Duck and Oliver are both seen to be somewhat dismissive of him would point to their being an observed hierarchy of command on the GWR that places brakevans beneath engines.

However, Toad has also quite often put his brakes down when his engines are trying to do some foolhardy shit. He resisted both Gator and James' attempts to flout regulation citing safety, which is the precise point of a brakevan. I think this too is part of brakevan decorum on the GWR, although I also think it rarely had to be employed there. GW engines are generally quite safety conscious on their own, but part of good safety procedure is redundancy. Having your brakevans prepared to intercede in the unlikely event your engines want to trade safety for expediency is good preventative measures.

This is a hard line to toe though and the NWR up to that point hadn't done a very good job if the Spiteful Brakevan is any indication. A brakevan who uses the limited autonomy he's granted and the necessity of his presence to leverage in his interpersonal problems can become such a detriment to his engine.

And while Bradford is a perfect brakevan to pair with an engine like Samson who can't be fully trusted to work independently, his strict adherence to regulation at the expense of common sense makes him a nuisance for engines who are more capable.

So it stands to reason that when Douglas rolled in with a GW engine, a GW autocoach, and a GW brakevan, Hatt might have wishfully thought some of that GW decorum was going to rub off and was all too happy to entertain even purely ceremonial gestures towards the Great Western Way of assigning brakevans.

You know what that also tells us though?

If Toad asked to be Douglas' brakevan, it almost certainly means that he was not Oliver's, particularly since it is stated that Isabel is Oliver's coach. That little notion paints a much more interesting picture of the escape from the scrapyard. Rather than it always being the plan to bring him, Toad may instead have been a late addition to the consist. And if that's true, another suspenseful possibility emerges: that Oliver and Isabel might have had enough coal to make it all the way to Sodor had they not brought him along.

But they wouldn't really have had a choice about it: they are all Great Western and must stand together.

Luckily, thanks to Douglas, they do all make it to Sodor and Toad is able to return the favor quite a bit over.

Toad's shown on several occasions to be a clever little sumbitch. He understands resource allocation (giving Gator one of his lights in "Toad's Bright Idea"), he can solve problems by looking at the bigger picture (using the crane on the other side of the island to get the whale back in the water in "Toad and the Whale", he's even got a touch of the silver tongue (lying by omission about James' speeding and directing the conversation to the branch on the line instead in "Toad's Adventure"). He might very well be the smartest guy on the railway and he's not even an engine. It would be a waste if he weren't as assertive as he is.

And so we reach my favorite thing about Toad: Toad is the one who comes up with the plan to rip Scruffey apart. And what's more, I don't think he actually told Duck and Oliver the whole plan. Three can keep a secret if two don't know they're doing so. 'Cause see, Toad never says they're going to rip Scruffey apart; he tells Oliver the plan is to bump him if he makes trouble.

When they're arranging the trucks, Toad also suggests in a way worded to sound like he thinks Oliver had already thought of and decided that he ought to be placed at the end of this train:

"I expect, Mr Oliver, you'll want me on the middle road as a stop-block, like."

"Er- Yes, please."

Oliver marshalled the worst trucks two by two in front of Toad.

"This way, Mr Oliver, takes longer, but they can't give trouble, and if you leave that Scruffey till last, you'll have him right behind you. Then you can bump him if he starts his nonsense."

Toad just settin' some fuckin' dominoes up right here.

And this is the beauty of it too. If Scruffey don't start no shit, won't be no shit. It's all so plausibly deniable, so brought upon himself!

Duck's presence is also important to the plan, even though he seems incidental. He and his also GW coaches are there as a matter of the schedule, but Duck came to the station with the ulterior intent to cheer Oliver on. As to just what he was going to be cheering specifically he may not have known (he looks quite unsettled by it), but this is Duck's branch line so it's important that he personally be seen condoning the execution about to happen on it, where all the other trucks can see it.

So now the trap is laid and of course Scruffey walks into it. He tells the trucks to hold back and they do. And when Oliver puts every bit of his boiler into pulling them anyway, Scruffey tells them to loosen up. Whether the rest of the trucks did or not, it doesn't matter. It's too late. Toad has his brakes on.

And then Sir Topham Hatt - who loves engine (and probably brakevan) bullshit - comes upon this scene. He can probably guess what really happened here because this ain't his first rodeo, but it solves the larger problem of truck behavior on Duck's branchline and you have to admire the craftsmanship of this scenario. Even Oliver doesn't know this was the intended result. When Hatt asks him about it, he's nervous.

"Well, Oliver, so you don't know your own strength. Is that it?"

"N-n-no, Sir," said Oliver.

The Fat Controller inspected the remains.

"As I thought," he remarked. "Rotten wood, rusty frames - unserviceable before it came." He winked at Oliver, and whispered, "Don't tell the trucks that - bad for discipline!"

He strode away, chuckling.

It might have even been so good a plan, so engineered to absolve all invested parties of blame, that Hatt might not have considered that Toad was involved at all. He knows damn well this wasn't Oliver's plan (he's not that clever), but no one really suspects a brakevan either. At the end of the train, a brakevan is so removed from the action, so far down the line and out of sight as to escape notice entirely.

Fkn consigliere shit right there.