“Debriefs” after a mission trip are basically damage control. Specifically for the damage that comes from pushing people beyond their physical and mental limits.
It’s bringing a bunch of usually traumatized missionaries into an environment that finally feels stable and safe. After months of honestly sometimes inhumane deprivation, you finally give them food, and coffee, and water, medical attention, air conditioning and heaters, soft chairs, clean clothes. Let them cry, finally. Listen to their stories and let them unload all the stress that comes with being under that kind of insane pressure in unfamiliar situations. Encourage them to talk about the difficult things, their doubts and fears and traumas and sicknesses and how relationships and psyches have cracked under the stress .
And then
Then you do damage control. You repeat everything they’re saying back to them, in a way that tells them all the hard stuff was positive, purifying, noble. You define their doubts and fears and regrets as weaknesses, struggles, feelings they can work on getting rid of-and reassure that they have our support while they do!
You put quick bandages on the strained marriages. Yeah, he wasn’t present for the delivery of their first child, but he was out doing the LORD’s work and now they have two months to spend together as a family and he doesn’t even have to go to work for that time because he’s still on church support!
Debrief is a place where you try to get them to say all the things you don’t want them to say later. Their arguments with each other, whatever grudges they held against the injustices of the mission board, the culture shock, the racism, the sicknesses and deaths, all the trauma. Get it out of their systems. Figure out who would have the most damaging things to say, and make sure they’re soothed or reassigned or sent on a retreat with people who can keep a close eye on them.
And honestly? If I hadn’t had Debriefs after my mission work, I would have really cracked. Like, I had a rough time as it was, but debrief was a huge huge psychological help. It made the ludicrous make sense. Gave me a framework. Gave me three days to sort of numbly feel for my emotions, to eat full sized meals, to rest my bones.
Debriefs, at least the ones I went to and the ones I later organized, were manipulative af. But I know someone who just missed their debrief after a six month mission trip and when I heard that I felt panic and so much sadness and compassion.
For people with no access to therapy, I still think debrief after missions is essential. I mean, it’s manipulative and it’s broken and the counselors usually aren’t that qualified and missionarying is a problem in its own right, but how the fuck do you just go back to normal life after something like that with no debrief???? You can’t. You can’t. You will have lasting psychological damage, and you will be in a shitload of pain for a long time. Fucked up.
I am so angry that the mission board responsible for this person didn’t ensure they had a debrief. I know this work, I used to organize these things. How could they drop the ball like that??