Up On Melancholy Hill.

So here’s the deal, I graduate on Friday at 7pm with my masters in science - specifically in clinical mental health counseling. I accepted a job as a therapist with SPHS recently. All these things are pretty cool but i went through hell and back to get here. Just a month before I started graduate school my ex had assaulted me with a knife which resulted in PTSD and a storm of other things. I never publicly came out with this due to going through a long drawn out court process for 11 months. My whole first year of graduate school was not only filled with learning and making friends but also with a lot of hardship. My mother had passed just a few short months prior to my undergraduate graduation. Long story short is I was not only grieving severely but also “going through it.” I bought these converse for my undergraduate graduation because it was very “me” to wear chucks at a formal event. I’ve worn them through many other events throughout these two years such as court hearings and adventures across the United States. Now two years later I will walk across the stage yet again for another degree. This is the endgame. This is what I’ve wanted and waited for. This is what I’ve been working so hard for the last couple of years. As Avengers (basically my childhood) came to an end, my time here at Cal has come to an end - both bittersweet but both wonderful experiences. And I did it all for my mother because I know damn well she woulda never let me quit and thanks to her, I never will. ❤️🖤 #CalU #Avengers #AvengersEndgame #graduationcap https://www.instagram.com/p/BxQ1L6blicc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=e83zwudggtjw

yet another photo of me yelling to emo music in my favorite bar but this time with the love of my life. 📷: @nick.prezioso (at The Smiling Moose) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw-MU7kFviC/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1v60ymzmxn2wc

My best friend in the whole wide world turned 80 yesterday. Looks like I’ve been blessed with some good genes. What a beauty. 🥰😍💜 (at The Bull Pen Rustic Inn) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwTGG_HFPN6/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=14r8rbk32esrw

Hey here’s a best friend appreciation post. So blessed to have had you in my life for 11 years. Thanks for getting me through all the bullshit and always sticking by me even if we disagreed. 11 years and time spent apart and I still feel incredibly close to you and know that you truly understand me and my wacky bullshit. I love you lots! Miss you and can’t wait to come back and visit you in the golden state. ☀️ so happy u got to meet my other best pal 🥰 thanks for letting us stay with u. (at Rancho Cucamonga, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwIBKbcF0k4/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10438a1a91gla

this weather lately is making me miss real california a whole lot. (at Hollywood High School) https://www.instagram.com/p/BvsJNMqD7jG/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=nok56598q5f1

HAPPY F’N BIRTHDAY TO MY BEST DANG FRIEND AND WIFE. I love you so many. Thanks for being my ride or die for the past few years. I wouldn’t be here without you. I miss you immensely and I can’t wait to see you this summer. We’re gonna have a blast. I’m so proud of you and all that you do. You’ve blossomed into a beautiful human being. 💖💜💘👭 https://www.instagram.com/p/BvjhZdVF8xK/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=902f2rek0wpv

• Maybe this is perfect. Maybe it's insane, like chasing California to find rain • https://www.instagram.com/p/BvMms7Rl2XO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=2zdg121d3dfp

State champs of what? // Thanks for hanging out and putting on a rad show for us last night. Missed you. Come back soon. (at House of Blues Cleveland) https://www.instagram.com/p/ButTFodFXHc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1insjaqls0u8u

Happy 5 years to the album that saved my life - The Finer Things. Thank you @statechampsny for giving us a hell of a show and never disappointing. You mean the world to me. I love you all so much. ❤️💚 (at House of Independents) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsBlxyHFp1J/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1fkdfnnsec2oo

I have cried probably 30 times in the past two days because my best friend in the entire world graduated college yesterday and is getting ready to move away. These past few years with you have been the greatest years of my life and I wouldn’t still be alive if not for you. I don’t know what I’m gonna do not being able to walk across the alley to Strawberry to see you whenever I want. All I know is that I’m gonna be putting a lot of miles on my car bc I can’t be without you for too long. I love you more than everything. You’re my whole entire world. Thank you for everything. You’re gonna do amazing things. I’m SO fucking proud of you. ❤️❤️ (at California University of Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrdmxRoFIZQ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=14mgtirdkp7aj

Happy founders day to the organization that gave me the greatest group of friends, family, and sisters. I wouldn’t be the strong woman I am today if it wasn’t for you all. LISK💕💜 #SK #SigmaKappa (at California University of Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp-e9DdFwUd/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1un6nteupqpzm

I am a walking, talking @columbia1938 ad. 🔹 (at Cooper's Rock WV State Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpyHaftFHM0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1iwkt47mh4ky7

With it being 3 years without Mason I believe it’s time I finally publicly share one of the most important stories I have about Mas. And no, this story didn’t take place in the TKE house or Strawberry, it took place right after the accident. Nov 1st was my 21st birthday. That evening I received a text from Mas asking about hanging out but I was already blacked out at that point. I wasn’t able to reply until the next day and I didn’t until from my dorm room window I saw the lights on the hill at High Point and my roommate and I wondered what happened. I felt sick to my stomach and didn’t know why suddenly. Then the rest of the night ensued as it did with everyone else. Phones calls. Waiting. More phone calls. Then the news of what happened. Then the tears. We stayed up for hours crying until there was nothing left. I never lost a friend before. My boyfriend at the time scooped me up off the floor eventually and put me in my bed. I laid there for hours. Eventually I fall asleep - a strange feeling sleep. Then a dream came to me. I’m walking through town crying. Weeping. Alone. I go to round a corner of a building and Mason steps out. I stop and stare unbelieving. He waves at me and says “it’s okay, I’m alright.” Then I wake up. I’m sitting straight up and I’m crying and screaming. But I just sat there and thought about it. And I still do. Every time I think about him I remind myself that he told me he’s alright. I know not all of us are religious and I know I’m not exactly the best at practicing my religion but sometimes things get sent from above and we can either embrace them or ignore them. This dream I had has kept me going for three years now and I hope it helps some of you who knew him too. We love you, Mas. Also sorry I only have one good photo of us that I repost every year. I’m bad at taking pics with people when we used to be too busy having fun all the time. Love you. #ForeverTKE571 (at California, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpsD0giFMXa/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1d2tvys9zps4h

I have the greatest friends in the entire world. 🖤🤘🏻 (at Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bphf2v2AHzA/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ngh33yemejnx

Catwoman goes to jail (almost). #Catwoman #DC (at Gotham City) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpe39OxgIoV/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=10h9c3wd5foj3