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#food – @wealmostaneckbeard on Tumblr
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Socially Awkward Ork

@wealmostaneckbeard

Every day or half hour I suddenly wonder if Tumblr has content on a specific subject. I then seach and reblog that content for 10 or more minutes. That is how I function on here. Occasionally I will try posting "Original Content" but there's no guarantee.
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draconym

Last night I had a dream that I was at the grocery store buying produce to mail to my spouse in Oregon. I was dead set on sending him a box of apples, but every single apple I picked up had this face on it when I turned it around.

I ended up not being able to find any faceless produce to send him. I was worried he wouldn't consider them vegan if they had faces.

Fuck. You're 100% correct.

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Some guy named Liam ordered a burger and fries to be delivered to his front door. Instead it was delivered to the residence of someone else, me. Now as I eat his fries and burger, I am reminded of a Bill Watterson Calvin & Hobbes comic. Wait, I have just bitten into the burger and have discovered it's actually a spicy chicken club sandwich. Anyways, the comic (or perhaps it was several comics) has the Dad reminiscing about how long it used to take to do something. And then Calvin shows up, starts demanding instant gratification and complains about how long it takes to do something. As I eat this chicken sandwich, I reflect that corporations may have achieved the speed to satisfy Calvin, but they have sacrificed accuracy. Liam is going to have to order another meal and the unknown delivery person is probably going to be punished for their incompetence. I believe that the fast food franchise Carl's Jr. and myself are the winners in this accidental transaction: I've gotten a free lunch, and Carl was paid.

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