Duel wielding Cotl and Marvel

Do yall ever wish that your life was like 10x worse so that you could feel valid about the constant state of confusion and pain you are in?

Just me?

Do you wish that you had more trauma so crying about the things that confuse you seemed like a valid reasoning?

Just me?

Do you ever wish that the person who hurt you was still hurting you so you could have a reason to hate them still?

Just me?

Do you ever wish that you could go back to the way you felt before even thought it was horribly crippling just because it was comfortable and repetitive so you always knew what was coming?

Just me?

...ok

Im so glad the the MCU is finally recognising Bucky as Bucky and not the winter soldier. He did not do all that work in TFATWS to just continue to be named as a killer.

Bucky and The Winter Soldier are not the same people. And the Winter Soldier was a victim as much as Bucky was.

I cannot wait to see him in action again and I truly hope they just let him have peace. He was with Sam. I need to know why he's jumping back into the government's shit

It's good to have you back Buck

I need to stop forming para social relationships with internet celebrities.

They don't care who I am

I need to chill out lol

I am such a strange creature

Do you know how difficult it is to be writing a whump Bucky Barnes AU where Bucky is a closeted bisexual and Steve is homophobic?

Writing whump is hard because it hurts so much but also I love it at the same time

After I finish this fic I am defiantly making it right by making a fic about Steve and Bucky being gay as hell over the course of the entire MCU

Why

Why why why

This is so frustraiting

I was just sitting in the lounge with my family and they we're having their own conversation that I had nothing to do with, so as usual I go off in my own thoughts and end up smiling because of it

(I was thinking about a scene for my fic fyi)

And my dad ends up... I don't even know how to describe his reaction. He just...he's more or less upset and went on this tangent about how I get upset when he makes crude jokes and all that stuff but when I have dirty joke it's funny.

I don't know where the hell he got that from but I told him that I wasn't laughing about anything dirty and what I was thinking about was none of his business.

He asked me to tell him what I was thinking about and I just said something funny in my head. He let it go but I don't think he believed me.

And I just don't get it

I don't understand why this is an issue and this isn't the first time something like this has happened either.

The fact that I have an outward emotion to internal thought seems to be a problem for my dad and i have no fucking clue why.

I'm human, I have emotions and sometimes they make their way to the surface and onto my face. But I don't fucking need to explain to you why. it's like butting in on a conversation you weren't apart of.

Like seriously?

I'm not doing it for attention, I don't expect him to ask me about it

I generally don't want him to pay attention to me at all tbh

So why the fuck do we have an issue in the first place?!

He's just looking for a fight I swear

Guys...new obsession unlocked

May I present to you

Until further notice this blog will be a cult of the lamb and Marvel blog

So enjoy that

My gods after 2 weeks of not being able to use word and having to use the online version I have finally fixed my app

Thank god I think I was going to explode if I couldn't fix this

Bruh

Wanna do many things

Not enough brains, hands or eyes to do those things

Brain overloading, doing nothing instead of doing something

I am a horribly pathetic human being

Why you may ask?

Because if I met anyone of my idols I would only ever ask for a hug.

No cool photo. No collectible being signed

I just want a hug if they would be comfortable, and if not, I would just tell them how happy I am to have met them, and how much positive impact they have had on my life

I am about to go on a massive fucking rant right now because I page is flooded with Bucky Barnes Thunderbolts content

Now Marvel, if any one person from the Thunderbolts production is on this website and happens to come across this then you better heed my warning

I swear, to any god that is listening, if the people at Marvel decided to put Bucky back down on a dark path and then not bring Sebastian Stan back for future production we are going to have some words

Bucky did not spend all that time with HYDRA to be thrown back into the deep end once he finally got out. He did not spend a year on the run for you to give him more trauma, he did not almost die at the hands of Tony for you to damage him again, he did not spend two years in Wakanda getting help to undo his programing to be reinstated as The Winter Solider. He did not have his best friend up and leave him for a woman in the past and then fucking die for you to split him up from Sam. He did not have to defuse another potential war and then finally get rest for you to bring him back into another fight for a government who barely cares about him.

I have no idea how Thunderbolts will play out but for fuck sake please just let him have a happy ending and do not leave him in a darker pit than he already was.

I. will. cry

I'll own it ok. I am an obsessed fan. Bucky Barnes is such an amazing character, in my opinion he's one of the best written characters to come from the MCU and his story has so much depth and potential which is what makes him so great. Sebastian stan played him so well and he is one of the reasons I want to become an actor. I am too emotionally attached to him for my own good.

I just want him to be ok for once.

We left him with Sam, being all domestic and cute. I think for the first time since we first saw him on screen in Captain America: The First Avenger he was happy. He finally seemed genuinely happy at the end of TFATWS. I don't want to see him sad again

(someone needs to put me down)

Please explain to me why that my hyperfixation on Marvel and specifically Bucky Barnes always ignites an interest in the 1940s for me.

I just spent half an hour looking for queer historical fiction and now I really want to learn as much as I can about World War II.

I have no idea why I love the 40s so much considering how bad the world was during that time. But I can't help but romanticise it.

It's so sad how many people lost their lives and their beloved family members but something about those who carried on with the memories of these loved ones is so beautiful to me.

Oh I have also been listening to Wartime radio on Spotify.

Send help

I was told the story of someones life

Someone who thought he was an artist

Turns out he wasn't but he was happy to have had the jouney

He talked about how artists see the beauty but often don't have the best lives themselves

Now this is true, however...

I find the fact that artists can find beauty amongst all that is bleak to be the truly special thing. That despite everything in their life going to shit they can still create something that will make someone somewhere happy. Even if it's just themselves

I don't think it's ignorant to find beauty in that which does not exist, because artists make it a reality. Even if it so corporeal, they make it real enough to feel and to hold

I love art

Hot take, like very hot about Bucky Barnes

Just remembered that time when I was younger and I learnt Bucky's trigger words. In Russian (I do not speak a word of Russian) just to walk around saying them to myself and pretending Bucky was following me

...

Yeah, we were obsessed weren't we

Do y'all ever get scared knowing people you know irl have seen/follow your blog or just me?

Sometimes I hate having a coporeal form.

I hate that my body doesn't look the way I want it to and that i can't magically fix it

Im wearing a mini skirt for the first time in my life and I feel so confident about it. But I also know that when everyone looks at me they will see a young girl.

I'm not. I still feel very masc, just a pretty Masc.

I like being a pretty Masc.

But when others don't perceive me that way it buts a damper on my happiness.

I wish I could just reshape my body like clay. Or better yet turn invisible. I wish I had the ability to remove people's perception of me.

Anyways here is the fit in question

I think people forget sometimes that Wade isn't just a hyperactive fourth wall breaker with no filter.

He has had a fair share of serious moments before AND after his run in with Francis.

I mean the moment with the Doctor telling him about his cancer. He's make jokes in worse situations. He just...he didn't say anything. He was literally trying to commit his girlfriend's face to his memory.

That's pretty serious and quite cute tbh. It hurts my heart but yeah.

He was serious for the most part when trying to help the kid from Deadpool 2

He was really serious for a while in the Honda with Logan. Talking to Logan about his universe and when Logan was shouting at him.

He was uncharacteristically serious in those moments.

What about with that scene Vanessa when Casandra was finger fucking his brain and he told Vanessa that if she wanted to leave then she should (I believe his words were "tell me you don't love. Tell me you don't love me and I'll leave)

Like C'mon dude. He can see how badly he was affecting Vanessa and he was willing to leave at her request if she asked him. Because he didn't want to hurt her anymore.

There aren't many. But like...you gotta remember those because they are what define him tbh. Like yeah his hyperactivity is a big part of him. But these small moments make up the rest of the man we know.

So yeah, just remember if you ever see serious Wade or if you want to write serious Wade and think it's uncharacteristic. Remember it's not