Moment that hurt the most.

This moment: 

{Image: Iroh laying on his back after getting shot by Azula and Zuko kneeling down next to him with his wrists covering his eyes as he bows his head.}

(The Chase, Book 2)

Because the fact that Iroh is hurt by itself is hard enough, but it’s the context that makes it more heartbreaking.

Up until this point, we’ve seen how much of a positive influence Iroh is on Zuko. He’s been the only one there for Zuko at all times. He’s the one who’s protected Zuko and given him unconditional love. And Zuko’s been angry and difficult, we’ve seen that. And in most series where there’s a clear villain, you’d expect it to be framed like ‘Iroh is way too nice to Zuko, who is a huge asshole.’ But it isn’t. Instead, as we get the context of Zuko’s banishment and as we see how Iroh treats Zuko in season 1, Iroh and Zuko’s relationship becomes clear to us as full of unconditional love, but with barriers that make it difficult for them to communicate that love. Through the series, we see those barriers get knocked down. 

In the first episodes, we see Zuko yell at Iroh and generally act like a brat, but it’s also clear that Iroh is the one person that Zuko is comfortable around. Iroh’s the one person who vouches for Zuko and is genuinely rooting for this kid. But it’s clear that he’s not rooting for Zuko to capture the Avatar necessarily, instead, he’s rooting for Zuko to stop hating himself and to stop endangering his own life.

But the thing is, Zuko doesn’t know how to accept it. At all. He’s convinced himself that he doesn’t deserve Iroh’s unconditional love. Zuko was conditioned by his father to believe that in order to be loved, he had to be worthy. 

Zuko is consistently surprised whenever Iroh is proud of him or whenever Iroh shows up to protect him. In The Southern Air Temple, when Iroh protects Zuko from Zhao’s illegal hit after the Agni Kai ended and said “disgraceful, even in exile my nephew is more honorable than you”. Zuko’s still surprised that after Zhao did an objectively dishonorable thing after the match, Iroh openly chose Zuko’s side and stood up for him.

“Did you really mean that Uncle?” 

Zuko’s used to people pushing him away. He’s used to having to prove his worth. He’s used to there being a bar for him to have to reach and then when he finally does, the bar just gets moved up higher. Iroh doesn’t have a bar for Zuko. He doesn’t want Zuko to improve himself to meet a standard, rather, he wants Zuko to improve himself in order to be happy and to find self-realization. 

There’s the more obvious moment at the end of season 1 with the “ever since I lost my son, I think of you as my own”. 

“You don’t have to say it, Uncle” 

This scene has already been talked about before, but let’s look at it again. Iroh tells Zuko that he needs to be safe when he goes down to the water and says “ever since I lost my son... I think of you as my own.” This is the first time in the series it’s mentioned that Iroh had a son. That detail itself gives us more insight into Iroh’s motivations. We can look at his actions in the context of ‘he couldn’t protect Lu Ten, so he’s going to do everything in his power to keep Zuko safe’. But it’s also clear that Iroh doesn’t expect or want Zuko to be Lu Ten. It is clear, and it has been clear for the entirety of season one, that Iroh unconditionally loves Zuko. Iroh’s followed Zuko across the world, accepted him for his faults while still wanting him to improve, and is the only person we’ve seen show genuine affection for him. 

This scene confirms that unconditional love, but it also reveals that Zuko doesn’t know how to accept it. We already know that Zuko cares about Iroh (mainly from the episode where Zuko forgoes chasing Aang in favor of rescuing Iroh from the earthbenders, which is one of the first truly selfless acts we see Zuko do), but this scene reveals that the reason Zuko pushes away from Iroh isn’t that he doesn’t want his Uncle’s love, but because Zuko thinks he doesn’t deserve it. Zuko says “you don’t have to say it” because he thinks that it’s something that’s harder for Iroh to say rather than something hard for him to hear. Iroh believes it. He loves Zuko and wants him to be safe, but Zuko doesn’t think Iroh has a reason to and can’t wrap his head around it. So he bows as a sign of respect and tells Iroh that they’ll meet again “after [he] finds the Avatar” because Zuko’s convinced that in order to earn love, he has to prove himself. Finding the Avatar is the task he was dealt to earn love, so he focuses on that when met with affection. Iroh hugs him and Zuko just doesn’t understand why. He doesn’t think he’s earned it. 

In season 2, the first episode dives a little deeper into this block that Zuko has. When Azula lies to them about Ozai wanting Zuko back, Iroh is able to look at the situation objectively whereas Zuko can only focus on the ‘my father doesn’t think I’m worthless after all’ smoke and mirrors. Iroh sees the situation for what it is: Ozai was needlessly cruel to Zuko and if Zuko returns, that’s what he’s going to be met with. For season 1, Iroh went along with Zuko on his Avatar hunt to make sure he didn’t make stupid, life-threatening decisions and to emotionally support him, but capturing the Avatar was never Iroh’s goal. He didn’t want Zuko to return to the father that scarred him and banished him for not wanting to fight. 

So when Zuko is going to take Azula’s offer to return home, Iroh’s protective instincts kick in, but he has to be explicit about it. He has to say the hard truth in order to keep his kid safe.  

“Father’s realized how important family is to him. He cares about me.” 

“I care about you! I mean, if Ozai wants you back, well, I think it might not be for the reasons you imagine.” 

Iroh all but explicitly says “Zuko, Ozai mistreated you and doesn’t care about you. If you return, he’s going to hurt you.” But he has to say it, because after three years Zuko still doesn’t want to believe it and is now making a decision that could endanger his life. 

And Zuko still rejects this. He lashes out and insults Iroh, accusing him of being jealous of his more successful younger brother. Zuko tells Iroh “you don’t know what my father thinks of me. You don’t know anything.” He’s still holding onto the notion that Ozai’s ‘love’ is something he can win, one way or another. Iroh is the one to recognize the fault in that logic and all he can do it be by Zuko’s side to protect him when shit goes down (which it does). 

When the fact that Ozai doesn’t care about Zuko becomes harder to ignore after Zuko finds out that Azula was going to take them as prisoners and his “father considers [him] a miserable failure”, he’s still not ready to accept unconditional love. That fact becomes clear in The Swamp and Avatar Day. 

“Do you like your new tea set?” 

The scene where Zuko gets mad about begging escalates when Iroh is publically humiliated in order to get them a gold piece. Zuko can’t firebend and the man’s dual swords are taunting him. Those are his weapons and he’s helpless to do anything for Iroh in this situation. Iroh dances as the man swipes knives at his feet and all Zuko can do is watch. What he was raised on was the mentality that he had to prove his parental figures his worth. Zuko was convinced that Iroh providing for him wasn’t how it should be and hates the situation. So he overcompensates: he goes on a crime spree and doesn’t just steal food, he steals gold in order to buy Iroh a fancy tea set. 

Iroh tells Zuko that he doesn’t need things to be happy and Zuko gets stuck. He doesn't see a clear way to prove his worth to Iroh anymore and he still doesn’t know how to just accept love without working for it. So he leaves. Zuko decides that “they no longer have anything to gain by traveling together” not because he doesn’t want to be with his Uncle, but because Zuko no longer sees how he is useful to Iroh. Zuko would rather be alone than be a burden, emotionally or otherwise. 

And in The Chase, we find out that Iroh has been following Zuko this whole time. Iroh knows that Zuko needs space to figure himself out, but is always going to be there to keep him physically safe. 

Despite the fact that he left Iroh, despite everything, Iroh was still there. Zuko didn’t really have time to grasp this fact, but Iroh showing up when he got knocked out showed Zuko that yes, this love is unconditional. Iroh’s just going to be there for him and that’s that. Zuko isn’t past the ‘love must be earned’ mentality, but this gesture means so much to him after he felt alone and directionless for weeks. 

Then Iroh gets shot by Azula as he’s standing right next to Zuko. 

And what’s going through Zuko’s head right now is something along these lines:

So now this person, the one person who was there for him and who always believed in him despite everything is hurt and for all he knows, might not survive, is on the ground and unconscious because Zuko couldn’t protect his Uncle the way his Uncle protected him. And Zuko regrets everything at this moment. He regrets the fact that he left. He regrets not taking Iroh’s advice. He regrets not being a more skilled firebending. He regrets not being able to give back what Iroh gave him in terms of protection. 

And he’s convinced that he’s failed his Uncle. He looks at this situation and is terrified that Iroh won’t be okay, but he’s also convinced that it was his fault. Zuko thinks that because Iroh decided to side with him from the beginning, his life has been ruined. If Iroh had stayed in the Fire Nation instead of gone with Zuko on his banishment, Iroh wouldn't have spent years at sea, he wouldn’t have been branded a traitor, he wouldn’t be on the run, he wouldn’t have had to beg for coins on the street, and he wouldn’t have been shot in the chest by Azula. 

Zuko can’t wrap his head around why Iroh decided to go with him. After all, he’s the banished and disgraceful ex-prince. He’s scarred and untalented and he spends years desperately trying to prove that he’s worth something. Zuko’s been conditioned to think that in order to be worth anyone’s time or affection, he has to prove himself. He has to be useful. And to be the reason Iroh is hurt (which he isn’t but that’s what he thinks is the case), that just means he has to prove himself further. 

And for the rest of the season, he doesn’t leave Iroh’s side. He knows what it feels like to almost lose his Uncle and can’t risk that again. He takes Iroh’s advice and goes with him to Ba Sing Se. He takes care of Iroh when he’s unconscious, makes him tea, patiently learns lighting redirection (there’s a clear difference in how Zuko listens to Iroh as a teacher from the first episode of season 1 to Bitter Work), guards Iroh from the Rough Rhinos, and tries his best to stay quiet serving tea. 

This moment in The Chase is such a pivotal moment for Zuko. For the first half of the series, Iroh has been the parental figure Zuko needed and deserved, but Zuko didn’t understand that. In the moment where he almost loses Iroh, something clicks. Zuko starts to understand what was missing before. He starts to accept that this relationship is something he needs in his life. Zuko realizes that Iroh has been there and he’s going to keep being there and that’s something he isn’t ready to lose. There’s so much shame in the idea that Iroh would be hurt for him and he spends the rest of the season trying to make it up. 

And we know that it ends up not being enough to break Zuko away from wanting Ozai’s approval, but this moment reveals just how fractured Zuko’s self-image is, just how much he needs Iroh, and just how much he feels he doesn’t deserve unconditional love. This moment is pure vulnerability as the one person who stuck by Zuko’s side through injury and banishment is hurt. 

Zuko is convinced that it’s his fault and if Iroh hadn’t decided to be by his side, this wouldn’t have happened.