Father Paul’s to do list before traveling back to the US:
- Hitch a ride back to hotel
- Bribe concierge at hotel to allow access to Monsignor Pruitt’s room
- Marvel at own hotness in full-length mirror
- Conceive plan to win back ex who explicitly said to stop calling
- Acquire several pairs of slim-fit jeans because plan
- Ask to use computer in hotel lobby
- Learn how to use computer
- Learn how to use dark web
- Acquire fake passport on dark web
- Avoid rest of travel party at continental breakfast buffet
- Hire car to drive box (xl) to cave
- Talk angel into coming to America using sign language and stick figure drawings
- Explain to angel that God’s own country has much better takeout than some hole in the ground in the Holy Land using sign language and stick figure drawings
- Explain to angel who God is (weird?) using sign language and stick figure drawings
- Buy plane ticket on computer in hotel lobby
- Bribe customs to allow smuggling of local artifacts because seductive American
- Further test seductive powers by flirting shamelessly with every stewardess on the 12 hour flight
- Spend the remaining 11 hours of the 12 hour flight in the toilet hiding from stewardesses and reassessing line of work