why am I so awkward and clumsy and timid and self conscious and why do I look away so quickly and why can’t I just be confident and okay with myself, able to look people in the eye and hold their gaze and not be conscious of every acne scar on my face and why can’t I joke around strangers the way I do with my friends and why can’t I not look sad or grumpy even when I’m happy and why can’t I be the person who knows what to say and when to say it?
turns out I had anxiety. question answered.