We are made of star stuff

fat and weight gain can literally be so euphoric and gender affirming. one of the first things about my body i ever felt good about was my weight shifting to my tummy and t making it round and hairy. i like feeling solid and heavy and a bit bigger, it makes me feel like a man. and on the flip side i have to imagine that having wide hips and a soft chest and tummy can feel really affirming and feminine. idk, people always tell us we need to be smaller to feel good about ourselves but i think the opposite can often make us feel better

we must promote fat sluttiness to rub it in the faces of the assholes who told us it was shameful

few things more humbling than the realization that you really do write the same fic(s) over and over again

Someone mentioned on another tumblr post about how nobody complained that Agatha Christie wrote ANOTHER book about murder.

Write your story. Write it again. And again.

Okay but do you understand the TREASURE TROVE of reading a fic you enjoy and then looking at the author's page and discovering they have written multiple just like it?! That is the ultimate score!

Historically, when performing long, repetitive tasks like churning butter or weaving cloth, people would sit together and tell stories. Folk stories, fairytales, and even stories about mysterious ape-like figures living in the forests. So, yes, pioneer women did listen to podcasts about bigfoot while churning butter

It's funny when Tumblr screenshots circulate other websites or you show one to someone who's not super online and they think they're supposed to pay attention to the usernames as a part of it so they get really hung up on the fact that a comment comes from a handle like "SloppyMuppetBalls" or "werewolf-smegma-collector." No not that part. That's the normal part. Don't laugh at our dear friend ClownHoleSlurper I'm trying to show you their insightful takes on economics

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.

(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )

i forgot how fucking weird november is theres no afternoon its just night after 2pm

when it rains you simply do not get a day

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

“how am I supposed to get over you if you keep sending ravens to me?”

Get your playlist here! Get your Vaxleth sad hours playlist!!

Every day is a reason to celebrate 🥂🥳

High level physics is so fucked up it's indistinguishable from epic level magic

i thought my laptop was on its last leg because it was running at six billion degrees and using 100% disk space at all times and then i turned off shadows and some other windows effects and it was immediately cured. i just did the same to my roommate's computer and its performance issues were also immediately cured. okay. i guess.

so i guess if you have creaky freezy windows 10/11 try searching "advanced system settings", go to performance settings, and uncheck "show shadows under windows" and anything else you don't want. hope that helps someone else.

hey this is apparently helping a lot of people! adding that on top of this you can also go to settings > personalization > colors and turn off transparency to also boost performance. this wasn't the Big Fix for me but might as well do that too if you're trying to optimize.

past a certain note threshold on tumblr posts you unlock a bloodborne-esque insight and the strange lives of this site's users become visible to you

(x)

we fucking found them?

Ok I know we joke about this but I just went to the settings and first clicked "adjust for best performance" and then re-checked only 1 box:

"Smooth edges of screen fonts"

My computer was running hot before I turned everything off; the office I'm in is very warm, I could feel the heat of my CPU through the keyboard. The fans were going, not as loud as they usually get, but they were still blasting.

Y'all.

I can barely feel the warmth through the keyboard now. It's been like 2 minutes. The fan is nearly silent.

Click the Windows key and start typing "System settings", and "View Advanced system settings" will pop up. Then click "Settings" under Performance:

Then you'll see this:

TURN IT ALL OFF.

I turned "Show window contents while dragging" and then turned that off again. It's up to you.

FUCKING THANK YOU.

me as a hotel receptionist: *greets guests by playing hotel california but cutting it off right before they say california*

Visited old fishmarket close today!! No skin stealing monsters in sight but there was some anglerfish graffiti, whoever did that I love you know,