fart tourists...
Read a Japanese Region's New Anti-Flatulence Brochure for Tourists
The booklet, now available in English, counsels tourists on how to "understand the Japanese mind" by refraining from screaming and farting.
Japan region revises 'patronising' Chinese tourist guide #NewsFromElsewhere pic.twitter.com/UpeL21nBCv
— BBC Monitoring (@BBCMonitoring) April 26, 2016
So you're heading to Hokkaido, Japan! Very exciting. Do you have your toothbrush? Do you have your SIM card? Do you have the booklet reminding you not to fart? No? Here you go.
Following a rash of bad experiences with foreign visitors, the Hokkaido Tourism Organization released an educational brochure last summer aimed at making some subtle cultural differences slightly more explicit. After complaints that it was patronizing and maybe a little _too _explicit, they recently revised it, and added an English-language version as well, Japan Times reports.
The old guide, "Common Sense When Traveling Hokkaido," was released last August, in Chinese only. It featured multiple illustrations of bad tourist behavior—throwing used toilet paper in the trash; wearing pajamas in the lobby—marked as such with giant red X's. When Chinese tourists complained that this was patronizing, the bureau softened their tone.
A selection from the new etiquette guide.
This version is called "The Traveler's Etiquette Guide to Hokkaido," and features gentle explanations instead of glyphs. "For example, the old version indicated that ripping open packaging before purchasing a product, which is acceptable in China, is 'a crime,'" explains_ JT_. "The new version says instead, 'In Japan, you can buy products with a sense of security that they are good, without opening their packages.'"
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It also counsels travelers to always be on time, to refrain from stealing cutlery, and that Japanese people prefer "Everything with Modesty—Even Belching!" Tens of thousands have been printed, and copies will soon be available in inns and hotels across the region. You can also read the whole thing here—and if you're going to Japan, you should, you gassy animal.
post burrito swim...
send a jart...
Get back at your enemies by sending them a fart in a jar
First there were glitterbombs to send to your enemies. Then came the bag of dicks to mail to the haters. Now you can gift all the assholes in your life a good ol' fart in a jar.
'Send a Jart' is a stinky service that'll send anyone a sealed flatulence in a jar—along with a nice little note—for the meager price of $10. Choose your stench: 8hr Trucker Fart, Hungover Frat Boy, or Competitive Eater—all the pungent scents from your worst olfactory nightmares.
Just imagine the recipient's face once they open the jar and gag on the aroma of waking up on Sunday morning after hooking up with a frat boy. Let's hope there's at least an insurance policy if the present ends up causing some nasty pink eye.
The site offers some stellar testimonials, if you're wary of such businesses. Here's one from Jennifer S.:
"A few months ago, I put my lunch in the fridge at work. It had my name on it in big bold letters. I caught someone eating it and asked them if their name was "Jennifer." Turns out it was. Two can play that game, girl. I sent her a Jart a week later. She won the battle, but I won the war."
We are truly blessed to live in a time where we can ship off some poopy breeze to people we just don't like—or even our besties, just to give them a little trollish love.
And hey, if you end up opening a jart, let it air out and you can use the mason jar as a nice little vase or drink glass.
the smell of chocolate...
A Pill That Makes Your Farts Smell Like Chocolate
File this one under "Medical Breakthroughs We Didn't Know We Needed": Someone has invented a line of scented pills designed to make your gaseous emissions smell like violets, roses, and even chocolate.
The pill's creator is a French man named Christian Poincheval, who says he was inspired to develop the product after a particularly pungent dinner with friends. "We had just came back from Switzerland and we were eating a lot … the smell from the flatulence was really terrible. We couldn't breathe so me and [my] friend decided something had to be done," Poincheval noted.
Poincheval claims that the product does more than just make your gas smell delightful—it also reduces bloating and helps your digestive system run more smoothly. In addition to various floral options, and of course, last holiday's cocoa-infused variety—the "Father Christmas"—you can now try out the "St. Valentine's Ginger Fart Pill," which is, apparently, the only aphrodisiac your sweetheart needs to "feel your love."
Poincheval didn't forget about Fido—the product is also available in powder form to sprinkle on your pooch's food as a "great solution for long car trips!"
flatulence...
vortexanomaly reblogged
stutter...