My ass it too leftist and tolerant for my own fucking good sometimes. A neighbor handed me a candy that was individually wrapped and vaguely Asian but I didn't know jack shit else about it and took it out of it's wrapper and it looked like some kind of jelly thing but it had a puckered shiny texture. Popped it in my mouth. Weird, it doesn't taste like anything. Except, like.... Plastic? I chew on it but my friend is giggling at me because I can't keep a straight face as I eat this thing which tastes for all the world like I've just eaten a jelly thing with the plastic wrapper still on. There's a sweet flavor inside but it still tastes for all the world like I'm chewing on saran wrap. She offers me a tissue to spit it out in BUT I AM NOT GONNA BE THAT RACIST WHO HATES CANDY JUST BECAUSE IT'S FOREIGN.
Which is bad enough. The only reasons I can think of to want to do that would be to force people to go to religous-run shelters that would try to impose their beliefs upon them, or to try and make all the homeless people in the state move to Oklahoma City and Tulsa.
But then you read the definition she uses for homeless people and it, somehow, gets even worse. Because included in her definition is:
- Persons and families who do not have access to normal accommodations as a result of violence or the threat of violence from a cohabitant
Which means she's also banning most city and county governments in the state from helping to protect battered women from abusive partners.
And I can't really think of any non-sociopathic reason to want that.
Oh, and last year they passed a law which makes being homeless a crime, so maybe Lisa just wants to fill up private prisons with victims of spousal abuse or something.
“The big learning is that if you want to kill someone, you can kill them. It’s really scary but true,” said the executive, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “It seems crazy that we’re just figuring this out.”
“Security is a sunk cost. It doesn’t make companies money, so it’s an easy place to cut at budget time,” said Krummrich, the Global Guardian executive. “You can ride the risk and hope nothing happens. But if it does, you have a much bigger problem emotionally, financially and optics-wise for the brand than if you invest in security up front.”
this is the quote that's really sending me.
security is expensive, but being shot in the street like a dog is bad for the brand, so there's pros and cons
Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.
I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.
Me: I shall become his mother and gain his trust
Me talking to an animal control officer five minutes later: he is a nasty horrid little boy and I am bleeding heavily
Animal control officer on the phone: So he’s in your car with you?
Me: Um. It’s his car now and he’s very mad at me.
Second animal control officer: oh you captured him and got him in your car? He’s friendly?
Me, my right hand completely wrapped in paper towels: wouldn’t say that
Urgent Care Nurse: Wow it’s strange he managed to get you so many times.
Me: I uh. Did not let go.
You vibe as someone prone to toxic relationships
People on tumblr will just say anything huh.
Oh cmon, "he hurt me a lot cause i couldn't let go" absolutely has double interpretation.
Me, holding a cat (of unknown gender) as it repeatedly digs its little teeth deep into my flesh: Is this… too… yuri?
This website is free
We pay in other ways.
i'm tired of the lies
Made a new poster! :)
using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me
my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament
”you are a lawyer he is a hamster” 😭😭😭😭
billie joe armstrong is like…the definition of chaotic good. a prime example of this is the fact that one time at a green day concert this guy in the pit was harassing a young girl so billie stopped the show to help her. however, his way of doing so was to jump into the audience, dropkick the guy directly in the face, and then fight him in a crowd of screaming fans
This is missing the best part - when he saw the guy, he tried to be like “Dude, stop” and when the man didn’t stop pushing the girl around he screamed “Fine! You wanna fight? I’ll fucking fight you, then!” and leapt directly into the crowd
There’s a reason Green Day was my favourite band in high school, and Billie Joe Armstrong is it.
STOP assigning pre-modern characters the trait “would commit tax fraud” without understanding how hard tax fraud was back in the days when a tax collector would physically come to your estate and assess your sitch. Do you have any idea how easy kids these days have it? You can just claim a few fake deductions or lie on a form and be a tax criminal. Your ancestors and fantasy faves had to work for those pennies.
Look at this house. This house has no mortar so it can be collapsed or moved to avoid taxation. That’s the sort of innovation I need to be seeing before you can call anyone in a feudal society a tax fraudster. They need to be hiding warehouses of goods, shoving grandpa in the basement to dodge the censusman, starting small regional wars, fleeing their villages in a constant semi-nomadic race against the forces of government, registering twins as a single child, or putting their life on the line to sell blackmarket bread. Come back when you have some tax fraud I can respect, not just a guy who looks kind of sleazy and sometimes does paperwork.
Doing the lord's work by finding the artist's deets.
my most controversial ship? heh...the Thomas W Lawson
motherfucker unlimited
you like that? I got more, how bout the SS Bessemer
This experimental piece o' shit, courtesy of Sir Henry Bessemer, had a stabilized cabin meant to combat seasickness. Unfortunately, due to the kinetic consequences of building a ship like that, it also combatted seaworthiness, and the instant this thing touched water it enthusiastically slammed itself into the pier with all the grace of a twelfth round boxer.
Not to be deterred, Bessemer repaired the ship, hired a veteran sea captain, slapped the stern and sent her out for a second go. The ship then proceeded to crash into the Same Fucking Pier even harder, demolishing it.
The SS Bessemer, her bloodlust satiated, retired from the cruise ship life and settled down in Swanley, where she became a billiard room, and then a lecture hall, and then rubble, due to an encounter with bombs.
This one's for the SS Bessemer. Rest in peace you wild bitch.