i've had so many conversations with people in fandom/creators' circles who are genuinely afraid to make the stories or art they want because they fear (often with good reason!) that their friends might kick them out of their circles, or worse, launch a public harassment campaign against them.
as someone recovering from this fear-based mindset, i want to affirm:
- friends who use implicit or explicit threats to maintain social control are not your friends
- communities that monitor your social media and ao3 to surveil you for perceived transgressive content are not safe communities
- the vast majority of people are NOT going to hate you if you make the art you want
- if you find yourself in a friend group that makes you feel afraid to speak your mind, it's in your interest to disentangle yourself from that group as quickly as possible
- real, honest disagreements between friends can be solved respectfully without the use of public shaming
- if you're feeling afraid in a community, it's likely that others are feeling afraid too. support your friends who may be struggling to leave an abusive fan or creative community, and let them know you're a safe person to voice doubts and disagreement to.
- if you're feeling like you'll never find a safer community of people, i promise there are others who feel that way too. it may take some time, but you'll find people who treat you and your ideas with respect. a good place to start is the people who make the type of art that you admire but that you're too afraid to make yourself.
ok that's all, take care of each other and be nice 💜
