To anyone who believes fairy tale romances never happen in real life, may I remind you that JRR and Edith Tolkien met and experienced a forbidden love in their youth, and then were separated for five whole years because of his guardian’s rules that he could not date till he was 21, and she got engaged to someone else only because she assumed he’d forgotten her and lost hope that she could ever be with him, but then on his 21st birthday, he wrote her a letter saying he still loved her and wanted to marry her, she responded basically saying ‘if I’d known you hadn’t left me on the shelf, I would never have said yes to anyone else,’ then a week later she greeted him at the train station and then immediately dumped her fiancé, and they got married and she converted to his religion and danced for him in a flowering field far away from the trenches into which he was drafted, which left such an impression that he crafted an entire story about the most beautiful maiden in the world who danced in the woods and made enormous sacrifices to be with the man she loved, and they had four kids and remained faithful to each other and blissfully grew old together and their gravestones are now marked with the names of that same fictional couple that he created, who broke every rule and overcame every possible obstacle to be together and get a happy ending, who only did all that because he based it all on their own real love story.

Knowing all this has always made this bit of Beren’s song instantly reduce me to tears:

Tolkien straight up wrote a poem that said “the world could end, but it wouldn’t have all been pointless, because she was in this world, however briefly, and that justified all the rest.” Kills me.

Who can outdo Wife Guy Tolkien? Dude was writing elaborate AUs where his wife is an impossibly beautiful magic-wielding immortal elf princess who fights Satan and wins to rescue her human boyfriend from Satan’s doom fortress. Flawless.

i don’t really care for lord of the rings all that much but bombadil civil war still makes me lose my mind

BOMBADIL 2: CIVIL WAR

okay listen UP the only parallel in cinematic history that matters and i mean the ONLY one is when the shot in fellowship of the ring where frodo’s hand reaches into the water to grab sam’s is mirrored by the shot in return of the king where sam reaches over the edge of the volcano to grab frodo’s hand and pull him up like. poetic FUCKING cinema.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hitching a ride

(via)

i discovered that my favorite ytp on the planet got taken down... I still think about this scene every day

[Transcript:]

Gandalf: This is the wawawawawawa forged by the dark lord SaS.

Frodo: SaS was destroyed.

Ring: Ayayayayayayayaaaa!

Gandalf: No, Frodorf.

Trans hobbits be like but what about second puberty

YOU NIQQAS WANNA LEARN ELVISH?! HERE YA GO!

is this legit?

This is legit. My husband, sitting across the room, looks over and says, “IS THAT SOMEONE SHOWING HOW TO CONVERT ENGLISH TO TENGWAR?  BECAUSE THAT’S THE WAY!”

Believe this man.  He owns atlases of Middle Earth, the complete history of Midle Earth (leatherbound), and has read the books at least 150 times.  Also: speaks elvish.

Yes.

Everybody who wears The One Ring in LOTR starts to refer to it as ‘My Precious,’ and Tolkien’s right that is super creepy, but what I really love is that everybody does it, which says to me that this super powerful scary evil sentient ring has a favorite pet name and just, like, will not respond to anything else.

Hey uhh @piyo-13 you cant hide brilliance like these in the tags

look i’m just saying, even as educated as frodo is, would he really KNOW the true name of sauron? like shit, of any of the elves left in middle earth by the time the events of LotR actually happen, only círdan and galadriel are old enough to remember that sauron existed in valinor (not counting old sindarin/avari elves because iirc sauron was never called mairon on the shores of ara [except possibly by melkor wink wonk]), let alone what his name was. so to everyone in ME, he’s always been sauron, and there’s no connection to “precious” in any linguistic sense… but mairon remembers.

no you’re a hundred percent right!! no one would know, and it wouldn’t make sense to anyone except maybe Gandalf, but that shredded little piece of sauron’s souls remembers

Oh, wow.   

this is why i love lotr fandom. this right here

so what you’re saying is there’s a tiny piece of sauron’s soul tucked smug into the Ring just going around introducing itself as “i’m babey”

Even better, I just looked it up and “Sauron” apparently means “The Abhorred”

So the ring is like “I’m Babey” and meanwhile the rest of Sauron is just Bastard

It’s even better than that

IIRC, Sauron is a rude elvish pun/portmanteau of his true name (Mairon, precious/admirable one) and ‘saura’, meaning “evil, putrid, foul-smelling”

It’s a mean nickname he was given, not one he chose or wanted

So actually Sauron is going around introducing himself as Babey to a world full of people who already refer to him exclusively as Stinky

[image from swilmarillion: tags by piyo-13: #look!! #mairon is a LITTLE stuck on ye olde days!!! #oooh actually hold up hold up #mairon is derived from maira which means admirable/precious #the little bit of his soul that’s trapped in the ring compels people to call him by his true name #but it just gets translated in the red book as ‘precious’ because #it was unknown to the authors of the book that sauron once went by previous names? #*spitballs theories* #lotr]

Dangers of working on a set.

That’s what I said.

Okay but you forgot the best part! During the scene where Aragorn, Gandalf and the other Main CharaktersTM ride ahead to go shout at the gate (and talk to the mouth of sauron in the extended edition) they were very firmly told only to ride up  ahead “this far” because that area was cleared and beyond that it wasn’t.

But. Viggo Mortensen is absolutely mad and lead them just…. a bit farther than that. Everyone else was very scared they might blow up any second. Viggo said it “added a little extra tension”.

#they just don’t make behind the scenes stories like lotr anymore

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING 2003 | dir. Peter Jackson

Theory: Nobody who writes a physics textbook gives any fucks

Evidence:

Update: Legolas’ pupils are about 3.5 cm wide each. Now drawing kawaii Legolas on physics assignment.

And they told you science was no fun.

Science!

I’m going to do it. I’m going to hand it in.

Legolas’s pupil size isn’t the problem here, though. 5 leagues is 17.262 miles. The curvature of the Earth means that for a person of average height, the visual horizon is less than three miles away. Even if your vision is telescopic and the atmosphere is perfectly clear, you can’t see around the planet. If they were standing on a hill, it would have to be at LEAST 198 feet above sea level in order to see the horizon at 17.2 miles away, with nothing tall in between. Which, knowing Rohan, isn’t impossible.

But consider: Elven satellite eyeballs.

you mean like

@sidereanuncia it’s back, the post that I can only imagine haunts your nightmares 

I shall never find peace.

Also, for what it’s worth, there’s absolutely no reason to believe that the curvature of Middle Earth is the same as that of Earth.

There’s no evidence that Middle Earth curves.

Yeah there is.  The Silmarillion states that the world was curved after the fall of Numenor (I believe), preventing access to Valinor.  But Elves (among others) can travel the straight path across it.

So middle earth is round, but not for Elves because magic.

So wait, the reason he can see that far is because Elves just have the ability to ignore the curve of the earth? That’s awesome. It also means that no matter how good your optics got, you would always want elf eyes manning the spyglass because they can see arbitrarily far while everybody else is limited by this ‘horizon’ bullshit.

Oh thank God, my poor elf prince has seen too much in this post

Elves are flat-earthers

This post went from amusing to horrifying, to be brought back down to amusing, sprinkled in with some cannon explanation, and then you leave me here in fucking outrage

This post really was a rollercoaster.

for elves it was a straight line

Frodo: Sam hates Gollum, but that is what I shall become once I have lost myself to the ring… he’ll despise me… 

Sam if Frodo did turn into a Gollum: That’s a very nice fish you caught with your bare hands, Mr. Frodo, and its very smart of you to eat it raw, saves us the trouble of starting a fire. I knitted you a sweater in case you get cold running around in that loincloth of yours. Is the sun hurting your eyes? I’ll kill it if it’s bothering you. I’ll kill the sun

The Throbbit 😩🍆💦

“but shrouded black figures are scary!” not when ur muslim. its the funniest fucking thing. this is labeled on pinterest under shit like “classic horror” “scary phone wallpaper”

but that LITERALLY just looks like a niqabi or someone in a jilbab. Like Look at this pic of me (from a self photoshoot, now w/o the dramatic lighting and dark background)

or this pic of me

or this pic of me

like its so funny i can’t be scared of shrouded figures it just looks like me.

if i saw this i would just be like “Assalam alaikum sister, dope sword you got there”

OMG

i lost it at jondor