Child at school: Why are you calling your parents by their name.
Batkid, sighting: Mom ?
Bruce,Diana,Selina,Alfred,Talia,Zatanna,Harvey,Lois Lane,Vicki Vale, Nocturna,Silver St-Cloud, Clark, Jim Gordon, Lady Shiva, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy: Yes, sweetie ?
Harley & Ivy
This is why I love them!
Harley is an abuse survivor of course she’d wreck this dude!!!
Can I just say how much I love the implications here? Harley and Ivy are known public figures. People know who they are, and recognize them. And this kid knows that, despite being violent criminals, they’re safe enough to go to for protection. Ivy is dead certain that the Batfamily will be okay with them intervening to protect a kid. That has some intersting implications - either she knows damn well where the lines lie and that this is overriding enough to get her a pass, or (more likely, given the first bit) this has come up before.
one of my favorite tropes is villains acting heroically not because the other villain is a threat to them or because it benefits them, but because they have standards
^^^ That’s the good shit right there
Always reblog protector Harley and Ivy
I think this illustrates that there is sometimes a separation between the types of villains. There are some villains who have little to no redeeming qualities like Joker and then you have what’s shown in this panel. Two of the most infamous villains with the mindset of, “Wait a minute! No, you don’t hurt children! They’re off limits!”
This (official) story is in the anthology series Batman: Black and White. Fourth volume of the series, third issue, printed 2013. Written by Paul Dini himself and drawn by Stephane Roux.
and it has an even happier ending!
I love this????
Thanks for adding the ending!
fuck, now I’m crying
Oh look. It’s MY Batman. The real Batman, not the hypermasculine ultraviolent for the sake of ultraviolence asshole that keeps popping up in popular media.
The Batman who held Ace’s hand. The Batman who keeps trying to get his rogue’s gallery treatment. The Batman who hands low-tier thugs a Wayne Enterprises business card and says “call them about a job.” The Batman who isn’t black and white, the Batman who recognizes even “bad” people can do “good” things. The Batman who genuinely cares about people, not just punishment.
World Heritage Post
LOVE
Always reblog Harley & Ivy
The Batman that we love is mainly because of Paul Dini. He wrote for the animated series and helped on the Arkham games (first two). Highly recommend all his comics, especially Batman ones, to all of you.
This is what i'm talking about when I say Gotham is a big dysfunctional family
Be honest and tell me some batkids news headlines
Red Hood arrested for the third time this month, walked free as a sentence, again.
Gotham City or Bludhaven, exclusive Nightwing interview on his two beloved cities
Is Purple Batgirl a shadowbender ? Goons and Arkham inmates keep telling she beat them while she didn't move.
Duke Thomas host of the Wayne annual christmas gala, telling fundraising will entirely go into the developement of a true overboard. 1 billion received and still counting.
Alfred The Cat first in the poll of Gotham new mayor election, his fellow candidate Damian Wayne (11) is debating Harvey Dent and Pamela Isley tonight on how to improve justice and ecology in our city.
Picture of the year: Cassandra Wayne and Harley Quinn playing on the swings together after beating the Joker to a bloody pulp.
Tim Drake-Wayne ongoing trial for creating Lex Luthor a grindr account.
Black Canary's dancers stuck in Florida due to the Daminette storm. How The Wayne children and Stephanie Brown did 3 hours of show ? "We practiced every week for the last 7 years" says the oldest Richard.
Hello! Hope you don't mind me asking/I hope no-one has asked already, how would each one of the batfam react to meeting a cat at their doorstep? :D
Bruce: I think you are looking for Selina buddy, come inside, I'm calling her right away
Selina: Already there
Talia: Fufilled her girlhood desire to dress like a mafia godmother and to be paint with a black cat on her lap.
Barbara: Has PTSD for the rest of her life thinking about how close her wheel was from the cat's tail
Dick: Registers the cat as head of rodents control at BCPD, gives him a badge and a tie
Jason: Become that scary guy in the block with the tiniest kitty on his shoulder, with the softest voice ever to talk to it
Tim: Are you real ? Don't care. Come in.
Steph: MEOW MEOW MEOW
Cass: Puts the cat on her head and makes everyone believes it's in control.
Duke: Check the informations on the collar then proceed to ignore it
Damian: Do you swear to pledge your life to protect our community ? In the name of your new leader Alfred the Cat, you are now a citizen of the Manor.
Harley: hihi 3 kitties in the house
Poison Ivy: In hazmat suit besause she wants to pet the cat but plants are toxic for them
Alfred: Train it to be a service cat. It's impossible, but he did. The cat is now a licencied emotional support pet, he can call 911 or the Justice League.
Selina, cuddling with Harley and Ivy on the couch.
Selina: You're gay.
Bruce: What ?
Selina: Peer review.
Bruce: I only date women !
Ivy: Me too, how's that suppose to be a defense ?
Harley: All my peers are queer. Amen.
Selina: Why do you think we accepted you ?
Bruce: Because of my money ? And that's my house ?
Ivy: He's cute and smart. Thought it was impossible.
Harley: You're a decent man and you love women. It doesn't exist in this city. You're a sapphic just like your pals sugar. Doctor's words.
Bruce: Wait, Alfred is not gay, I met his ex wife !
Selina: Foreigner, being above our comprehension.
After meeting Supermna
Bruce: Ok, maybe I'm little gay
Harley: Honey, we knew
Yes
Selina, cuddling with Harley and Ivy on the couch.
Selina: You're gay.
Bruce: What ?
Selina: Peer review.
Bruce: I only date women !
Ivy: Me too, how's that suppose to be a defense ?
Harley: All my peers are queer. Amen.
Selina: Why do you think we accepted you ?
Bruce: Because of my money ? And that's my house ?
Ivy: He's cute and smart. Thought it was impossible.
Harley: You're a decent man and you love women. It doesn't exist in this city. You're a sapphic just like your pals sugar. Doctor's words.
Bruce: Wait, Alfred is not gay, I met his ex wife !
Selina: Foreigner, being above our comprehension.
Gotham being her own entity apart of the rest of the World thus every meme have Gothamite's equivalent. If you have a smartphone in Gotham you have seen my honest reaction memes starring Brucie Wayne.
Instead of Joe Rogan and other UFC commentators when you have to express something is exceptionnal, you have Jason, Duke, and Steph when Cass bitchslapped Lex Luthor.
When you are fond of something, you have Harley Quinn's face, in her orange clothes wearing cuffs at Pamela Isley's conference on ecology.
When you are craving something, you have the rich cougars looking at Dick Grayson's ass.
When you are envious, shocked or horny, maybe all three together, you have the legendary video of Wayne Fondation to promote exercice and healthy lifestyle when Bruce Wayne appears in tank top and Wonder Woman who accepted to be there who could discover properly for the first time Brucie's F cup boobies.
"He said no pickles !" But it's Cass and Jason. Works with joke about power balance and size.
What's happening with Dick and Jason spotted with a SO always taller and ginger ? (WTF Wally is 6'10 ??)
Gotham is still not over discovering Tim Drake is a sleeper build. Why is he jacked like that ? Why even the BUTLER is ripped ?!
Every post trying to promote Joker is filled with Red Hood gif, Batsignal and Oracle dropping all the user's informations.
99.9% of the housewives between 18 and infinity in North America are watching the annual interview of Brucie by Clark Kent. Their discution is also a "me when I meet someone as weird as me" template
Stephanie's very much loud on the very hot microphone "Please step on me" to Dinah when they competed in a Family Feud episode againt the Queens. The others were laughing but nodding
Damian's mugshot at 4'8 for assault. He saw someone with a coat made with an endangered specie.
A spotted paparazzi picture with Catwoman, Batwoman, Bluebird, Poison Ivy and Harley named "The lesbian spectrum".
And a lot, enough to feed a country, of memes about getting adopted by Bruce Wayne.
This just in: Harley Quinn spotted at Pamela Isley’s ecological conference, prison jumpsuit chic?
Thank you so much !
They have been married for the last 30 years
Brucie when Joker
- Blows up an orphanage
"You're going to Arkham !"
- Steals an atomic bomb
"Who didn't at this point ?"
- Kills his son
"I swear I won't let him win, Clark."
- Breaks Harley's mind
"Gayness can fix her."
- Kicks a dog.
"Jay. Murder."
We need to give more props to our mighty god Alfred Pennyworth, only to thank him for his patience when he has to cook for the entire team
Bruce, Harley, Kate: Jewish ascend, don't eat pork, a lot of sea foods and horse.
Ivy: Vegan, except for rich man meat.
Talia: The League certainly has some of the best chef, bakers...in the world, everytime she's on vacations in the manor, it's personal. I don't know her relationship with pork, I mean, Chinese people love it, and Arab people being mostly muslim, it would be cultural not eating it. Also loves spice.
Dick: Romani, grew on the road, can survive on tuna cans and cereals.
Barbara: Her family was always ordering somewhere and most of the time tacos or chinese food.
Helena Bertinelli: Pasta and wine. By a chef. She loves pizza. And tomatoes.
Jason, Selina: Latinos, favourite meal would 100% be with pork, and spicy.
Tim: Survived alone on monster energy, milk and instant noodles and late burger when he stalked Bruce and Dick. That's why he smol.
Steph: Unstable household, she was feeling like a chef when there was cheese in her mac and cheese. Also vegetarian.
Cass: Will eat the entire plate. I mean litteraly. One time Bruce said her to drink her cup till it's hot, she was chewing on porcelain. Love desserts otherwise.
Harper and Cullen: Survived on chili.
Duke: Cornbread. He loves cornbread. Pretty normal household for once.
Damian: Vegeterian, and fed by chefs and Talia's cooking. It's. Personal.
Bonus :
Clark : Fed by Ma Kent. It's why he big and strong. Doesn't understand a meal without meat.
Lois : Doesn't understand a meal without fruits and vegetables.
Diana : Fed for 3000 years by immortals cordon bleu. Loves ice cream too much. It's. Personal.
Poison Ivy : *Is bombing Batman with horny pollen* So, what are you plan for tonight, handsome ?
*She says while vines are growing around Batman*
Batman : Justice !
Poison Ivy : HOW ?! *Cuffed and thrown in the back of the Batmobile*
Batman : *Growls* You can't filled something already full, Pamela !
Poison Ivy : So you desire me, uh ? You are just just like the rest of them ! A pig !
Batman : What ? No ! Look. *He says pointing Harvey Dent's adverstisement billboard*
Harley : Batsy slays ! *She says sitting shotgun, cuffed too*
Ivy : How did you ended up here ?
Harley : He said he had candies. There's plenty !
Ivy : How many times did I tell you not follow someone-
Harley: He has sorgho cakes too.
Batman: *Growls* Robin likes them.
Ivy : Slay.
Me doing a post that contains for the 100th times
- Bats and Birds safe and loved
- Harley and Ivy more gay than ever
- Selina and Talia being queen together
- Clark and Diana somewhere
My lovely audience for the 100th times (i love you all)
Batfamily going to do their public appeareance of the week, sitting at Wayne's 3 Michelin's stars restaurant. The restaurant is under siege rule. Brucie boy and the kids are coming.
Talia ordering for everyone :
"Hello. We'll have 50 beefs burgers, 50 with chickens, 15 vegans. 3 kilos of falafels. 11 omelettes with 8 whole eggs and 4 whites, made with butter. 5 pots of boeuf bourguignon without pork, blanquette and rabbit with mustard. Then 3 pots of each but your vegan version. 1 kilo of each of your salad. 2 plates of evything you have with fish. 13 vegan tacos and burritos. And 2 kilos of ice cream with this."
Beginner waitress with her pen: Hu..Hu...
Talia : Don't worry, dear. Already wrote it down for you.
She says with 5 fives hundreds dollars and a note.
Back at the table Bruce says.
"If anynone, nobody in particular, is sick, they'll be alone to clean"
Harley giggles
"When I have the headache I don't hear Harleen anymore !"
Ivy scolds.
"I was out for billionaire's meat tonight."
She says, planting her knife in the table, watching Bruce. He clears his throat. Harley adds.
"That's Talia and Kitty's dessert !"
Selina puts her hand on her forehead, Talia doesn't react.
Dick, Barbs, Jay, Tim, Steph, Duke, Kate : Oh my god shut the fuck up !
Cass : Want baby.
Bruce : Sweetie. Please.
Cass : Sister.
Talia : In nine months it's chrismats maybe Santa...
Bruce : No. Actually...
Damian : I'm the only blood children forever. And you can't change that, clown.
Harley : Well your daddy has a co
Bruce: ARCADES UPSTAIRS FOR EVERYONE.
Later
Dick, Barbs, Jay, Tim, Cass, Steph, Duke, Kate : Hungy.
Talia : I know.
Dick, Barbs, Jay, Tim, Cass, Steph, Duke, Kate : Hungy.
Talia : I know.
The 50 beefs burgers, 50 with chickens, 15 vegans. 3 kilos of falafels. 11 omelettes with 8 whole eggs and 4 whites, made with butter. 5 pots of boeuf bourguignon without pork, blanquette and rabbit with mustard. Then 3 pots of each but your vegan version. 1 kilo of each of your salad. 2 plates of evything you have with fish. 13 vegan tacos and burritos. And 2 kilos of ice cream with it arrived.
Bruce is helping himself some falafels in his salad, watching his kids'plates already half empty.
Dick : It's
Barbs: weird
Jason: something
Tim : is
Steph: really
Duke: missing
Damian : inside
Cass : .
Suddendly, the secret weapon of the restaurant is coming. Elizabeth, boss of the dinner accross the street, she's pinching everyone's cheeks and says.
Elizabeth : A big kid like you needs to eat !
Kate : It's really better now ! Nom nom nom.
Bruce : How's Alfred ?
Elizabeth : Snoring in his potato, sugar.
Bruce : Perfect.
He can finally put a leaf in his mouth.
Dick, Barbs, Jay, Tim, Steph, Duke, Kate, Cass, Selina, Harley, Ivy : Is there more ? I finished.
Bruce :
Talia : Don't worry baby, I got this.
She says slapping his tight, black card in hand.
I have never seen something in my life more harlivy than that, the blonde sunshine acrobat barbie doll and the broad asocial grumpy one that can't help but fall in love.
That's so gay it's amazing
Batfamily's reaction to someone disrepecting/hitting on Cassandra on social medias (when it's not the dozens of "Mommy, sorry, mommy ?" from all vigilante girls)
Dick : "Tell your niece I say hi. What a beautiful german shepard. And this used blue ford focus bought in 2018 immatriculated"
Barbara : Use Alexa/Google Home to talk to them when they're half asleep and driving them mad.
Jason : Compilation of photos of a date with their dad and the aftermath.
Tim : Hire them to babysit Damian.
Steph : Send polaroïds photos of them by mail and write on their walls.
Harper : Cut their power.
Damian : It's goblin time.
Harley, Ivy, Selina : Fugged their mom, made her divorce because her husband chezts on her with a younger boy, became their horrible step mother.
Bruce : When Kon saw the comments, Clark took him real quick to Hawaii and brang Talia. It's not a date, Clark just avoided a double charge for assault.
Alfred : Everynight changes every furnitures with slightly more big ones. Cover the walls with a new layer so everything's more claustrophobic.
