Lois Lane wrote fanfics on Superman before she knew him and that sweet Kansas boy were the same person. She went on a 11 years hiatus after they got together, but suddendly after a fight with Clark "FuturePulitzer" realeased the corniest SuperBat fanfic of them all. 700K notes and still counting.
(They all find it very funny that of all Gothamite she took Brucie Wayne to be the Big Black Bat)
Superman: Eats sun radiation
Wonder Woman: Is litteraly Zeus'daughter
Black Canary: Has supersonic powers
Green Lantern: Gets a cool ring
Flash: Can destroy reality
Meanwhile Batman and Green Arrow:
Clark rushed from the other side of the world as he heard Bruce's heart going frenetic then nealy flat out. As he wrecked the Wayne's Plaza Imperial suite wall he saw Talia Al-Ghul knoting her kimono, her face wore an honest grin. Bruce was butt naked in their bed, post Damian creation.
"You are really a great friend. I'm glad you will always be by my beloved's side"
Too stunned to speak, the kryptionan could only think about the lack of batmask on Bruce's face. He knew she was the one for his brother from another mother.
Superman: Eats sun radiation
Wonder Woman: Is litteraly Zeus'daughter
Black Canary: Has supersonic powers
Green Lantern: Gets a cool ring
Flash: Can destroy reality
Meanwhile Batman and Green Arrow:
Hal Jordan finding out about Nightwing: YOU. You have a *kid*?
Batman: well... Technically he's my oldest and age of majority... But he's still my kid.
Hal Jordan: OLDEST? YOU HAVE MORE? 2? 3?
Batman visibly annoyed:... 6... Legally.
Hal Jordan: I'm going home. This has single handedly killed my willpower for a week, I need to process this.
Superman: Ah so you finally found out. I'm proud of him honestly, good to see he's willing to bond with others again.
Hal Jordan: You knew?
Superman: ...His kids basically call me Uncle Supes. I've babysat. I was around when he still just had Nightwing
WW: They're so cute! Children of such strength and bravery. Not to mention his dog, his cat, his cow... His son has animals even I've never seen before!
Hal Jordan: I've had enough.
And Hal hasn't even learned about his crime fighting cousin, batwing, Oracle, bluebird, Spoiler, and of course Jarro.
Note: everyone knows Supes is a father, he's the dad to talk your ear off about it but he's too nice with too much country charm for anyone to say anything about it. WW and Martian Manhunter are the only ones who listen absolutely intently.
Uncle Soup
from left to right: clark, bruce, diana
had to draw it
Clark needs the reflexion of his laser to shave his face, so I understand the chest full of hairs, but, does he cut his hair himself ? Is Lois his hairstylist ? Is THE little curve of hair here on purpose ?
I've seen gorilla less buff and ripped
Bruce and Clark's beef was so strong they managed to transfer it to their wives then to their children which means their beef is hereditary
Ah yes me, my husband, his superhusband, his wife and our children
Head cannon that most, if not all, of the batfam are vitamin D deficient due to being primarily nocturnal. Like some more so than others. Especially Bruce.
They are getting vitamin D by hanging out with their Super
Maybe Moses, Jesus Christ and Muhammad were Kryptonian all this time
Mary: Oh ! A little baby in the garden from the sky !
Joseph: He's the Son of God !
Yeshua-El but instead of being super strong, he turns water into wine.
Red carpet with the batkids, asked about an important figure in their life:
Dick: Clark ? I have never seen someone so upright in my life, as a reporter he's always trying to write about what matter the most for the people and not a political agenda by some bald billionaire you know. I'm trying everyday to follow his path of honesty and truth.
Barbara: Dad ? There is a picture of him next to the word "resilience" in the dictionnary. Nobody could have done what he did for this city while staying on the good side of the law.
Jason: Talia Head ? Yeah, she was there when I got caught in this attack in Ethiopia. She spared nothing for my réhabilitation when I couldn’t return to Gotham because of witness protection. I know I can trust her with my life because I had to for years. I wouldn't have enough time in my two lives to thank her enough for her patience with me.
Tim: Selina ? You know a lot of people who'd hire Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy and Catwoman to stole back what Black Mask robbed in the museum ? Iconic I have to say.
Steph and Cassandra: Diana, just look at her to understand. She knows history like she was there the whole time. She's the biggest expert on ancient greece on the planet ! She's even the mythology advisor on the percy jackson's show ! 6'3 olympic wrestling champion nerd. I'm in love. 💖💖💖
Damian: Alfred is the most wise, elegant, selfleness being. And he doesn’t scratch the couch.
(I don't know enough about Duke, sorry)
And what about Bruce Wayne ?
Batkids:...Batburgers...He buys batburgers sometime.
Kon, to Tim: Hey handsome, are you pink kryptonite ?
Bruce, hand on his face: He took his puns...He took his puns !
Clark calls the Batcave.
Jason: Hello?
Clark: Robin? It's Superman.
Jason: Yeah, you were ID'd before I even answered. What's up?
Clark: Uh, I stopped at a store after flying back into town and bumped into someone from work. We walked out together, so I had to pretend my car was stolen, but it's still at my apartment building. I wanted to know if Batman had any ideas for a cover.
Jason: Oh, no worries. I got you.
Clark: What do you mean?
Jason: I'll take care of it.
Clark: Oh...kay. Thank you, Robin.
Jason: No sweat!
Later, Clark discovers his car truly is missing. It's found with the tires, stereo, and catalytic converter removed, the wiring stripped, and the hood ornament knocked off. The police tell him that, sadly, this sort of thing has been happening more and more, even in their fine city.
Clark calls again.
Jason: Hey! Did everything work out with your car story?
Clark: Yes, thank you, Jason.
Jason: Great! Swing by later and I'll give you your cut.
Clark: You mean the missing parts of my car?
Jason: What? No. That shit's serial numbered. The cops would think you were pulling an insurance scam or somethin' if you put it back and anyone noticed. I sold the parts to a chop shop here.
Clark: You sold-?
Jason: Don't worry, my guy ain't a snitch. Your secret's safe!
Clark: ...Thanks.
Jason: No problem. I had to tell him you needed the car disappeared 'cause you were cheating on your old lady so he wouldn't think it was tied to something too bad, though.
Clark: I'll keep that in mind.
Jason: Oh, hey, B's here. You wanna talk to him?
Clark: Yes, please.
Jason: Cool. Talk to you later!
Clark: Bye, Jason.
Bruce: Clark.
Clark: I take it you know what happened?
Bruce: Yes. You learned a valuable lesson, didn't you?
Clark: Next time, I will definitely ask how he intends to take care of it.
Bruce: Good. I don't want my son arrested because he was doing you a favor.
Clark: I had no idea he was going to strip my car and sell the parts to a chop shop!
Bruce: You know how I found him. You knew the risks.
Clark: ...
Bruce: And you're letting him keep your cut.
Clark: Of course.
Yes honey our boy is keeping his money
They are just friends
Just friends who give each other rings
Batman: The Complete Hush
Issues # 608-619
Ring of friendship ! Wich can kill Clark
One time a Wayne-Kent dinner got heated, as Bruce defended that being CEO and Brucie is a lot of work, but Clark said it was nothing compared to being a ranch boy.
The two bet to take the place of the other for a year with stricly no right to complain. The first to quit have to clean the watchtower by himself without tech or power.
Clark gives a lift every morning to Bruce to go to Smallville and everynight to Gotham. Sup' and Batsy have the same face so it's not a problem to replace him.
Long story short both of them wanted their life back and got a sight and a "I told you so, but you're such a fool when you want to" by their wife.
Damian and Barbara took Clark's job at the daily planet as he had to "work remote" from Smallville to "help his parents".
