DC, this is a warning, I wont live in a world where I'm older than Bruce Wayne. His ass is NOT a 2004's kid ! Fix it or I will. I'm not OLDER than BATMAN.
Wally is holding Dick's head: You're way too hot.
Dick: Thanks honey, wanna race me to bed ?
Barbara: No Dick ! You're litteraly 180 degrees !
Dick: Okay okay ! Can't get enough of of the twins ain't ya big boy !
He said turing on himself, slapping his butt.
Jason: IT'S AN ACT OF MERCY !
He screamed as Tim, Bruce, Cassandra, Stephanie, Duke, Kate, Damian, Lucas, Azrael, Helena, Helena, Athanasia, Jarro, and Harper were trying to take his loaded gun.
#batman#batfamily#batfam#dc comics#batfamily shenanigans#batbros#batkid#batkids#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#damian wayne#tim drake#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#barabra gordon#helena bertinelli#helena wayne#athanasia al ghul#batwing#harper roy#kate kane#batwoman#batgirl#azrael#jean paul valley#bluebird#jarro#wally west#birdflash
vodrae reblogged
In a happy world where Jason is legally resurrected and gets to go to college like he's always dreamed of
#this was going to be a quick little thing and ended up consuming the better part of a day#why am I like this#while we discuss batfam doing sports just for the fun of absolutely crushing the competition#I raise you quarter back Jason#He's got killer aim I'm told#jason todd#jason todd fanart#batfamily#batfamily fanart#gotham knights#gotham university#gotham sports#gotham knights football#bruce wayne#barbara gordon#dick grayson#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#tim drake#duke thomas#damian wayne#gothamites are scary#singswan-springswan art
Batman studying for months gen X and boomers to act like Brucie can't use a smartphone just to use a clamshell phone in the end.
Lucius "Bruce couldn't open his mails on the WaynePhone but I've never seen a man so determined to watch his kid's tiktok videos." Fox
vodrae reblogged
Bats and Birds are making a plan to arrest Sionis
Dick : We know he's always taking one of the stripper with him at the end the night. With a significant preference for blondes and gingers. So we need someone inside.
*Thinking silence takes place*
Steph : I'm not going. Ever. He killed me !
Dick : Of course ! Ehm...Kate ?
Kate : Is ripping off his dick with my bare hands a traditional dance move ?
Dick : I think not ?
Kate : You have your anwser.
Dick : Jaybird, i'm sorry to ask this but...You're the only one...You know...Ginger...Dance ?
Jason : Oh, yeah, yeah. Got it. Smashing bones authorized ?
Dick : ...Till he's breathing and not braindead.
*Laeter in the Iceberg Lounge*
Dick : Someone sees Artemis ?
Tim : No but you should see this.
On the central pole a ginger 6'4 240 pounds peak male performance with a tiger mask is dancing with all his scars covered in a bright green lotion ( S/O @strange-birb ) on flawless by Beyoncé. A captivated Roman Sionis is watching closely throwing Benjamin by dozens.
Sionis tells him to come with a finger sign.
*After the rightful beating up*
Tim : How did you know Sionis was into guy ?
Jason : I didn't. I let the charm speaks.
Steph : For real ?
Jason : We've known the Sirens for years and you have never been curious how they keep seducing dudes when everybody knows you won't have nuts anymore at the end ?
Dick : Did you take poledance lessons with Selina and Harley ?
Jason : It's a great exercice, Richard.
What would be the Dad Recipe TM of Bruce Wayne ? Like the thing nobody can do better than him for some reasons ?
Headcanon he stole a recipe from Talia because the girl can cook
vodrae reblogged
A moment alone <3
Yes yes yes yes yes yes
vodrae reblogged
Gotham Twitter AU PT. 45
<<Part 44<< Master List >>TBC>>
Guess who's back, back again. Garpen's back, tell a friend.
THANK YOU a million to the amazingly talented @iaminjail for the DickKori wedding art shown in slide #1
Nygmobblepot in MY Twitter AU? It's more likely than you think!
My tia: All you *my family's last name* are all so dramatic
My sibling: I know we are
Me: Speak for yourselves. Also you married into this family, you knew what you were getting into.
Sibling: You being defensive and making an opinion when you weren't asked for one, proves her point
Me: FUCK.
Bruce: If she agrees I would like to adopt Stephanie.
Tim: MY EX ?
Dick: THE GIRL WEARING PURPLE WHEN IT'S CLEARLY NOT THE SPIRIT ?
Jason: THE ROBIN WHO WORE PANTS ?!
Barbara: MY DAUGHTER ?!
Damian: A BLONDE ? DID YOU SEE US ?!
Cass: MY WIFE ?
Duke: YOU WANT TO ADOPT SOMEONE WHO CALLS HERSELF "SPOILER" ?
Bruce: ...I want grandchildren and she already has a baby ! That won't happen with you !
vodrae reblogged
Steph dooble
the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol
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Damian Wayne: It doesn't matter if I am the smallest. It's easier to headbutt them in the nuts this way.
Bruce: Before you officially become Robin, I just need to perform a last background check.
Steph: Yes sir and mister batcomputer !
Batcomputer: bip boop bip boop.
Bruce: Everything seems fine-Wait. "Sold to Batwoman" ?
Steph: She got flamethrowers !
3 adopted wayne children is one biological normal citizen kid so Bruce currently only has 1.6666666 kid.
Thanks for coming
Duke: DUDE I FUCKING DIE !
Jason: Relatable.
Duke: I HATE FORTNITE !
Jason: Ohh.
Damian walks up for the first time in his brand new school , his teacher by his side, he watches the other children playing. They run after each other and grab shoulders and arms.
"ADOPTED !" Yells one boy.
Quite suprised, Damian asks:
"What are they playing ?"
The teacher cringes hard but finds no good way to say it.
"Ehm....Bruce Wayne and the orphans...?"
The batfamily members are EXPERTS of skincare, they are all wearing a mask or helmet while doing great efforts, don't tell me they wouldn't all have the worst acnea known to man.
Bruce video for Vogue has 345 millions of views for fuck sake.