Okay, so every time I see this gif set, I always want to make a joke along the lines of, “Same”. Because usually, whenever we see this gifset, or watch this moment in the film, we’re so busy focusing on the Apple employee, and how in this moment, he basically represents any of us who fangirl over Steve Rogers or Chris Evans ever. It’s a funny moment, yes, but for the first time I was actually struck by the look on Steve’s face in the last gif.
Yes, he and Natasha are incognito; it’s essentially life or death that rests on them not being caught in this moment. But Aaron already established moments before that he doesn’t recognize Steve; he merely noted that they apparently have the same glasses. The concern is still there that Steve could be recognized, but that’s no longer presented as an imminent threat or concern.
Steve’s expression in the last gif isn’t one of relief, it’s one of irritability. It’s discomfort. Because at this point, Aaron’s basically fawning over him (and this is usually where we all laugh and go, “Yeah, who can blame him?”) - but more importantly, he’s fawning over his appearance.
Look at his word choice: “Specimen”. That’s literally what Steve Rogers was, to get the appearance that Aaron - and so many others around Steve - are in awe of. The definition of specimen is: “An individual animal, plant, piece of a mineral, etc., used as an example of its species or type for scientific study or display.”
How many times do you think Steve felt like nothing more than a science experiment? Clearly quite a bit, if the comments he makes in Age of Ultron are any indication:
- I miss the days when the weirdest thing science created was me.
- Right, what kind of monster would let a German Scientist experiment on them to protect their country?
I know the second quote’s relevance lies with Steve understanding Wanda’s and Pietro’s motivations, but the point is, this is still something Steve thinks about frequently. And it’s interesting, his wording in the first quote; since he got the serum, he’s always considered himself the weirdest thing science ever created.
You could even argue that maybe there’s a sense of of self-deprecation in his expression in that last gif. Aaron doesn’t even realize it, but he just voiced Steve’s own perception of self right back to him. He means it as a compliment; Steve only hears it as fact. He was a specimen - and even with everything that’s happened, and all the good he’s helped do, and how hard he keeps trying to continue to do good, there seems to be a part of him that still seems himself as one.
Add to that the obvious questions: How many times do people look at Steve - the way he is now - and Steve knows they would’ve never looked at him twice when he was smaller? How many times do people look at Steve - the way he is now - and Steve just doesn’t believe them?
With the exception of Bucky, Peggy, and Erskine, no one really bothered to see Steve before he got the serum. No one appreciated him, or thought he was worth the second glance. The moment he became a science experiment, he walked out the “perfect specimen” and suddenly people who never cared before suddenly couldn’t stop staring. Even now, you can see the level of discomfort Steve feels whenever people look at him a certain way; see the exterior, but still don’t seem the see the real guy underneath.
Because who he is underneath is still that skinny little punk from Brooklyn. No matter how big Steve became, that little guy never went away. And I’m sure he misses who he used to be sometimes; maybe not the sickness and the impairments he had, but who he really was.
Until he got the serum, Steve only ever wanted the chance to prove himself, make a difference, help people; be visible. Now, I can’t help but wonder - when things like this happen - how often Steve finds himself wishing he could be invisible again.
