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Vhenantrash Nights: The Greatest Solavellen Fanfic Ever, or Plundering the Jewels of Ancient Arlathan Written by the Vhanentrash Collective
Solas crept into the luxurious party tent, the gilded burgundy bunting undulating in the wind. The entirety of Skyhold’s population was housed underneath the massive structure, celebrating their victory against the invading Altmer. A heady mix of sex, ale, and relief permeated the space. His nostrils flared, drinking it in. But he couldn’t be distracted. Not when he need to find her.
With renewed determination, he sniffed again, searching for her earthy sandalwood and leather scent, like a wolf on the prowl. What was that? he thought, thrusting his nose back and forth through the air. The unmistakable scent of “Wings of Valor,” the cologne made by Grey Wardens for Grey Wardens: share the glory™ flooded his senses. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of Blackwall staring at him like, “What the hell, man?” Solas straightened his shoulders and slipped back into the crowd. He had to remind himself that he must keep the beast within at all times.
Abelas sat up, repositioning Lavellan so that she was riding his lap. She saw Abelas lean and she closed her eyes in anticipation for the kiss. When none came, she peeked an eye open and saw that it was in fact Solas and Abelas engaged in a passionate kiss. As the kiss deepened and Abelas let go of Lavellan’s ass to grip Solas’ jaw, the tiny elf became frustrated. She began to bounce up and down on the sentinal’s lap in a vain attempt to return to their previous umm…humping?? At this, Solas shoved Lavellan off of Abelas’ lap so he could replace her and hump Abelas for hours of passionate sex. THE END.
Vhenantrash Nights: The Greatest Solavellen Fanfic Ever, or Plundering the Jewels of Ancient Arlathan Written by the Vhanentrash Collective
Solas crept into the luxurious party tent, the gilded burgundy bunting undulating in the wind. The entirety of Skyhold’s population was housed underneath the massive structure, celebrating their victory against the invading Altmer. A heady mix of sex, ale, and relief permeated the space. His nostrils flared, drinking it in. But he couldn’t be distracted. Not when he need to find her.
With renewed determination, he sniffed again, searching for her earthy sandalwood and leather scent, like a wolf on the prowl. What was that? he thought, thrusting his nose back and forth through the air. The unmistakable scent of “Wings of Valor,” the cologne made by Grey Wardens for Grey Wardens: share the glory™ flooded his senses. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of Blackwall staring at him like, “What the hell, man?” Solas straightened his shoulders and slipped back into the crowd. He had to remind himself that he must keep the beast within at all times.
"This is one of my spirit friends! They are people, too." The sock puppet nods in agreement.
Gradstudent/barista/hipster/reincarnatedelvenhallaprincess!Lavellan is giving out free tea and coffee as part of a drive to raise awareness about the plight of the Dales. Suddenly, the familiar swishing of black plastic trash-bags gets louder, until she looks up and sees the familiar bald elf. He flirtatiously waves the tail of his canine scarf at her and winks. Well, he tries to wink but he can't really manage it and ends up just blinking both eyes really rapidly.
Gradstudent/barista/hipster/reincarnatedelvenhallaprincess!Lavellan tries to ignore him and starts to talk to her co-worker. Solas waddles up to the counter, trash bags making an ominous "swish swish" sound.
He stands in front of Gradstudent/barista/hipster/reincarnatedelvenhallaprincess!Lavellan and licks his lips, "You know, my friend has been summoned against its will." He starts to gyrate suggestively. "Maybe you could help break its bindings," at this he jerked his hips forward knocking over a tray of tea.
Gradstudent/barista/hipster/reincarnatedelvenhallaprincess!Lavellan recoils and immediately begins to pick up the paper cups before they scatter to the wind. Solas starts doing squats moving like some kind of octopus or, perhaps, cuttlefish.
"Tea, I detest the stuff," he says bobbing up and down. "But, today, I need to squeeze the dreams from my mind grapes." Suddenly he stops moving long enough to reach into his fanny pack and pull out a sock--an old sock with googley-eyes on the toe. He slowly, seductively, pulls the sock over his hand like an elegant glove.
"This is one of my spirit friends! They are people, too." Solas chirps. The sock puppet nods in solemn agreement.
Gradstudent/barista/hipster/reincarnatedelvenhallaprincess!Lavellan gathers the tray and slowly, cautiously steps behind the fold-up table.
I can has #8, Spine Kiss, with Horse Master Dennet and Barn Troll? I want to get a better sense of their relationship since they spend so much time together by the barn!
A/N: Ok, just want to clarify a few things - Barntroll is Blackwall. We make nicknames for everybody and it was made out of love! WE
The scream tore through Horse Master Dennet like a bell. It was quickly followed up by loud moaning, which Dennet initially mistook for a wounded hart, and he started towards the stables. When he realized the sound was coming from the barn, he stopped dead in his tracks. No. Please Maker. No. He noticed the shopkeepers averting their gaze and going about their business as usual, like nothing was happening. This was not the first time the shopkeepers ignored the mysterious noises that sometimes escaped the barn. Dennet started to slowly backtrack, but when a mournful, “Maker have mercy…” drifted out from the barn, Dennet realized he could no longer leave it be, so he steeled himself and made his way towards the doorway.
As his eyes adjusted to the gloom, he tentatively asked, “Master Blackwall? Are you alright?”
“Dennet!” Blackwall called back, “be a good lad and come help an old warrior out. I think I threw out my back when chopping some wood.”
Dennet walked further into the barn and blanched at what he saw.
Before him, the warden was splayed out on his stomach across the woodworking table. He was totally nude save the small pair of red undergarments encasing his muscular haunches, tufts of raven hair peeked out from the waistband. Dennet noted the fine layer of sweat glistening off of the warden’s skin in the morning light. This confused Dennet, because the air was quite brisk in Skyhold this morning. Though Blackwall seemed to sweat a lot, so he shouldn’t be that surprised.
“Master Blackwall, I don’t understand, why are your clothes off?” Dennet asked. “Also, I don’t remember seeing you chopping wood. I’ve been with the harts all morning.”
At this a loud moan erupted from his lips.
“Alright, alright. What do you need me to do?” Dennet thought he might as well get this over quickly.
“There’s a good man. Now, if you’ll be so kind as to massage my back. There is some wood oil right over here.”
Dennet whimpered, praying to the Maker he would be struck down. When his sweet death didn’t come, he steeled himself yet once again and walked over to the writhing warden on the table.
He picked up the bottle of wood oil and closed his eyes as he poured it over Blackwall’s back. He stopped when Blackwall let off a loud, “THANK THE MAKER!!!”
Dennett then tentatively pressed a finger into the soft flesh of Blackwall’s hirsute back. At that, Blackwall let out a loud and sensual moan which caused Dennet to leap back in horror.
“Now isn’t the time for half-measures, get in there MAN!” Blackwall roared
The horse-master tried to think of a happier time. A time before all of this. Before Blackwall, before the Horror Nug. He took a deep breath and began to knead at the flesh in the middle of Blackwall’s back.
“LOWER!”
“Maker why?!” Dennet cried as he climbed on top on the table and straddled the warden. From this vantage, he began to push at the soft flesh. As he pushed forward, however, his hand slipped causing him to fall face first into the warden’s back, leaving a sloppy wet kiss on the top of Blackwall’s rump.
Blackwall moaned, “What you on about back there?” and Dennet slid off the Warden’s back, curling into the fetal position under the table. And he remembered the soft summer day when the sun dappled the landscape and his daughter’s sparkling laughter rang out as she crowned him with a daisy chain.
Can I some broodmother x Alistair? Collarbone kiss. I want him to climb her titties.
A Tender Embrace
Lady Broodmother looked so beautiful in the moonlight. Light streamed across her undulating tentacles causing the peaks of her eight taut nipples to glisten where he had kissed her. Alistair wrapped his arms around the lowest of her large floppy tits, getting a firm hold before he hefted himself onto her body.
“Mmmgrlgrl”, Lady Broodmother gurgled at the pleasure, her voice like the angelic grunts of a rutting bronto to his ears.
“Being near you makes me crazy,” he whispered into the sweaty flesh of her torso before flicking his tongue to and fro across the pallid bosom. The action elicited another sultry grunt from his lady love and he took the opportunity to grab onto a higher breast to hoist himself up. Alistair kept climbing, his hips dragging against her soft skin as he reached higher and higher until at last he was nearly at eye level. His thighs were spread wide with his knees tucked under the folds of her middle breasts, wedging his hips into the crevice of her chest as his arms snaked around her thick neck. The Broodmother’s tentacles wrapped themselves tightly about Alistair to support his body. He could feel the bumpy knots of the tentacles massaging the skin at his back and it took all his willpower to bite back the threat of his release when one ghosted over his ass.
“Oh Maker, the things you do to me…” he groaned before placing a sweet kiss where he assumed her collarbone was located.
Hawke lay panting, gripping his injured side but looking at the rapidly closing rift with satisfaction, his sacrifice would not be in vain. He turned to the creature.
"They’ve left you, just like everyone you’ve ever cared about, and now there is only meeee" hissed the thing
Gripping his staff, Hawke eyed the menacing legs warily, watching their supple forms flick and dance towards him in teasing patterns. Too late, he saw the ninth leg (was that a leg?) snake around behind him and pin him to the floor. He felt something furry caress his face.
"I’ve been alone here for sooo long…" hissed the thing
Struggling proved to be in vain, hawke felt a sort of lassitude come over him as he gave in to the amorous appendages gently nudging his knees apart.
"sooo very, very long" hissed the thing
Hawke, seeing his chance to reply with an angry red fist option when the dialogue wheel popped up, saw the heart icon in the upper left corner instead, and shrugged.
Hawke blissfully slumped against Nightmare’s leg, sated. He looked up into one of Nightmare’s many eyes and whispered “I love you”. Nightmare froze and clicked his mandibles as he said “Uh….what???”. “I LOVE YOU” Hawke shouted, “I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!” Nightmare began to shake his leg gently in an attempt to pry Hawke lose from his pleasure hole, “Look, it’s not that I’m not appreciative of what happened here but it was just for fun. I mean, I’m a giant spider and you’re…well…you.” Hawke wrapped his arms tightly around Nightmare’s leg, “Oh don’t play coy with me! I LOVE YOU AND I’M NEVER LETTING YOU GO!”
Abelas sat up, repositioning Lavellan so that she was riding his lap. She saw Abelas lean and she closed her eyes in anticipation for the kiss. When none came, she peeked an eye open and saw that it was in fact Solas and Abelas engaged in a passionate kiss. As the kiss deepened and Abelas let go of Lavellan's ass to grip Solas' jaw, the tiny elf became frustrated. She began to bounce up and down on the sentinal's lap in a vain attempt to return to their previous umm...humping?? At this, Solas shoved Lavellan off of Abelas' lap so he could replace her and hump Abelas for hours of passionate sex. THE END.
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