verygardenstarlight reblogged
absolutely insane shit happening on twitter
ALSO, supposedly there's a follow-up! I don't have Twitter and have only seen this one posted one place so I dunno if it's real.
verygardenstarlight reblogged
Finally, a worthy competitor to this site's hate mail game.
[google search history]
what to do with drunken sailor
how to deal with drunken sailor
how to deal with drunken sailor early morning
verygardenstarlight reblogged
verygardenstarlight reblogged
I love this post so much I have done everything in my power to make sure I will never forget it via reblogging it every October 5th, in memory of discovering it for the first time
verygardenstarlight reblogged
Was just reminded of one of my favorite weapons, the armor-piercing punch dagger, more properly named the Katar:
Pretty cool, right? So I decided to read up on the actual history a bit on Wikipedia. And that is how I just now found out that "some modern katar designs may include single-shot pistols built into either side of the weapon."
So of course I HAD to see if I could find pictures of THAT little variation, and
WHAT THE AWESOME STEAMPUNK KNIFE HISTORY SHENANIGANS, THIS IS
FREAKIN' EPIC!!!!!
As a steampunk nerd this is the best thing I have seen all year and I HAD to share it. Here's a great short video showing off a genuine example of this fancy version:
And my blog is strictly PG, but if you don't mind some light swearing, this video does a great, longer overview of the weapon, including a brief touch on the pistol-modified version!
Anyhoo, I don't geek out about weapons much, but this was a fun Today I Learned moment that I hope some of ya'll will enjoy it as well! =D
verygardenstarlight reblogged
sun wukong... very nasty monkey. the jade emperor did him a Big Favor making him the protector of the peaches of immortality, but sun wukong, Tricky Sun Wukong i call him, he stole the peaches! theyre very good peaches, they only bloom every 3000 years. not for monkeys! well it doesnt matter now, laozi put him in a prison, a new kind of prison, theyre calling it Eight-Way Trigram Crucible! theyre going to make a potion of out sun wukong!
still reeling from this gem
literally screaming.
verygardenstarlight reblogged
reddit is having a glitch where it puts the wrong captions over photos and it’s the only thing i care about right now
verygardenstarlight reblogged
verygardenstarlight reblogged
Come with me, friends…
To this house. Not a contemporary house, and the pentagons of those two windows on the left are a little unusual, but not particularly notable.
The sides of the steps to the front entrances are painted purple. That’s a little interesting.
Oh?
OHHHH YEEEESSSSSSS
POUR THAT PURPLE CARPET ON ME BABY (also that fireplace IS AMAZING)
You thought you’d bring your own furniture to this house? No. Only built-in seating covered with orange-pattered carpet in the purple living room.
This is where things start to get a little surreal to me. This house was built in 1975. But look how bright and new that carpet looks! It still matches the light fixture! And it’s in the kitchen! It looks like it was never used (weird), or that it was REPLACED recently (WEIRDER BY FAR).
This is actually a lovely bright dining space, if you can ignore the purple carpet of the living room running up against the blue carpet of the kitchen. As sometimes happens in a house.
That’s a new toilet. And that’s purple carpet in the bathroom. And a pink sink where the material reminds me of tiny independent movie theaters or hole-in the wall restaurants.
The only way to move between the three floors of this house, friends and foes. I have one drink and I’m sleeping on the orange built-in seating for my safety.
And now…pink. (And some sliding doors which I hope open onto a balcony but I don’t SEE anything like a balcony railing.)
Stepping back, I’m still having trouble interpreting this room. My best guess is that it’s the main bedroom, with a semi-public area at the top of the stairs and then this is the more private area where the bed would go. But it’s not actually walled off. The decorative light switch cover shaped like a regular house is a nice touch.
Friends…
This is a lot. I genuinely now start to think that this house was inhabited by beings that DID NOT USE BATHROOMS nor did they UNDERSTAND what bathrooms were used for. That carpet is so bright! So fluffy! It shouldn’t look that way if it’s original, and WHO WOULD HAVE MADE THIS DECISION MORE THAN ONCE??? And it. It doesn’t even match the shade of pink around the tub. And the blue tile in the tub doesn’t match anything. Th…the shower head. Is there. But there is no place to hang a curtain around the tub. IN A CARPETED BATHROOM. There are so many signs of remodeling, and yet…the bathroom is still…this.
Non-Euclidian closet. First non-carpeted room we have seen.
I run from the non-Euclidean closet to face the stairs, which I fall down headfirst, dying instantly.
Ah, the lower level. There’s another sink in another carpeted area, but at least the built-in furniture isn’t carpeted. It’s fine.
IT’S FINE
This bedroom makes me think of dorm rooms, but from a bad alternate timeline.
This bedroom doesn’t have carpet, but rather a portal to a different alternate universe.
Your best chance for normality in this house.
At least the children’s toilet room isn’t carpeted? I’ve gotta count this as a win at this point. I’m blocking the sink and counter from my mind. I do not see it.
It’s fine. Oh THERE’S the balcony. …it has no railing. Friends and foes, I really think I’d need my balcony to have railings in this house. But I guess if you’re an incorporeal being from another dimension who loves carpet, it wouldn’t really matter.
Thank you for journeying with me.
(Btw it sold for about $160,000.)
GuYs I am *wheezES* I am LITERALLY CRyING I am laughing sO hARD, I CAN’T– I struggled to keep reading at times because of the tears blurring my vision and I couldn’t BREATH I have literally never laughed this hard at a post before I had literal tEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE I was so glad I live alone so no one would hear me DYING
BLESS YOU OP THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR INTERDIMENSIONAL ABODE ADVENTURES
verygardenstarlight reblogged
ampervadasz
my two brain cells
This is what executive dysfunction looks like
OH MY WORD IT IS
verygardenstarlight reblogged
this quote from ovid’s telling of orpheus turning back to look at eurydice makes me crumble
verygardenstarlight reblogged
Introducing “The Last Alliance o’ Fellers Who’d Had About Enough” into my lotr lexicon
You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.
Like imagine you find a 7 year old in the woods and she’s like my mom is gonna kill me because I’m prettier than her and she’s not kidding. You know this queen is that sort of person. So you and your roommates adopt the kid and tell her don’t talk to strangers. And she keeps talking to strangers and getting poison combs stuck in her hair and whatnot.
Like yeah that’s kinda stupid but also she’s seven. She likes apples.
Also imagine it from the hunter’s perspective. The queen tells you this bitch is prettier than me I need you to take her out in the woods and kill her. And then you see who you’re supposed to kill and it’s a 2nd grader. Like how are you supposed to react to that sort of situation? Kill a human child? No. Because you’re not a brainless evil minion you’re just some guy dealing with a cartoonishly evil monarch. Of course you let her go.
Bad look for the Prince of course. Even if she did age while she was in that glass case. He saw a dead woman and just decided to keep her. And once she stopped being dead he was like we’re married now
He did cause the evil queen to dance to death in red hot shoes though. That was kinda cool.
With the acknowledgement that I'm grasping at straws, is it ever directly confirmed that the Prince wasn't also 7?
See, I think that still works.
You are the guardsman assigned to protect the eight-year-old Prince. You are currently in the middle of the forest because he absolutely had his heart set on "going hunting", and the royal second-grader should definitely not be traipsing around the woods on his own. You let him go a little on ahead and he comes running back talking about how there's a dead girl in the clearing and there's no-one else around and he wants to take her home because she's really pretty, Hans, and she's all alone!
You let him drag you to said clearing and okay, that is one angelic-looking dead child alright, and on the one hand the quality of her clothes and the craftsmanship on the coffin (who builds a see-through coffin?) speak to potential Consequences if you simply carry her off, but also for the amount of vines that have grown on the coffin she looks extraordinarily un-decayed, so you should probably get the court alchemist's opinion on that, and there's no way he's going to come all the way out here in his embroidered velvet curly-shoes. And also this kid is technically assigned by God as your natural superior, or something.
So fine. You hoist the coffin onto your shoulder (it's not like the Prince can do it. He's eight.) and head back toward the castle, Prince chattering blithely all the way. And then you turn your ankle on a rock and suddenly there's a thump and a cough and a lot of shouting from inside the coffin and you have now become a key player in a tense political incident with the next kingdom over.
You should probably ask for a raise.
We are in favor of just about any fairy tale ending with "you should probably ask for a raise."
Love this love this love this LOVE this