why is rereading even a tiny bit of homestuck just so... therapeutic. its good.

fs opinions, jpn ladies, rambling (dont wanna be negative but wanna talk my feelings & opinions out, if you wanna talk – welcome)

i wish people just randomly!!!! messaged me!!!! just out of the blue!!

hi, so I’m back from LOMBARDIA GODDAMN TROPHY, which was too amazing for words. I’m mostly on twitter nowadays, but I may post some sort of account/collection of thoughts here. But for now – photos! Tons of them. Be beware.

ladies in lavender / shoma uno 2016-2017 sp

for about two months since I fell hard for Shoma’s SP, I’ve been trying to express my feelings properly – and then I got inspired by @magicaleggplant​ and her wonderful post about different performances of Loco.

so I’ve decided to watch through all of the existing videos of Ladies in Lavender / Fantasy for Strings and Orchestra and write down my thoughts on it, which turned into this monstrosity of more than 2k. these are just my thoughts and impressions, I’m no expert, I just really love this program – or, rather, what it became in the end, I guess. I tend to focus on musicality a lot. i may misuse words bc what is english. some gifs and many words inside!

I am the person who gets into three-to-six year old fandoms bc I like to enjoy things in peace and with tons of finished fanfiction

i spent this quality sunday morning playing kotor and deciding how to name some more cats

tfw you like this new thing So Much but you gotta sleep/know you have to drag it out so you're like "i'm stopping watching/reading/whatever for now" and then you browse tumblr ao3 and the whole fucking internet pretending you dont see spoilers cause you still hve so much to watch

this new year we played Relic (the amazing warhammer game where everything is pain and suffering) for 7 years. ...i meant hours but it might as well have been hours. years. w/e man

then we discussed something about robodongs it was 7 or 8 am idek

when we woke up lafiska showed us a couple episode of iron leaguers which are all over my twitter feed rn. it was also pretty neat

overall, pretty good. i’m at parents’ home in SPb, feeling well but sleepy. which is good, bc maybe last night won’t fuck up my sleep schedule that much :’) i’ve just compiled a list of songs that I associated with each month of 2015. feels nice. i don’t know how people sum up stuff for a year, every year is such a whirlwind, i suck at summing up. but this, i can do.

trying not to overwork myself, because even if I spent two days in the countryside basically only eating, sleeping and playing with doggies (DOGGIES. i never knew oh my god), i still need to rest a lot. so far i cleaned up my room a little bit, put some laundry in the washing machine and swept the floor in two rooms. also i edited some photos for myself, which wasn’t very stressing. i probably need to go to get some groceries later? if i have enough energy, here’s what else i can do today: work on building my photography resume; do some fandom things; write/organise the two fics i have in progress; cook dinner (which i will do gladly). maybe plan my trip to SPb.

also, a daily reminder: looking for job can wait, there’s no use doing it anyway just before new year. you’ll do it after the holidays, and you have a back-up plan in any case.

So I lost my job to mutual satisfaction & agreement and am not gonna look for a new one for a couple weeks, and I had an absolute breakdown (not connected. probably) today, and my psychiatrist told me to fucking chill. so I’m gonna fucking chill all the way to new year and probably some time after as well.

feeling kinda distraught and uneasy because feelings and uncertainty, and somehow, intuitively, I immediately understood that what I need is to disconnect myself from my emotions, and others’ emotions, think of - and look at - the mountains, the snow (it is snowing rather wonderfully outside), and listen to calm music.