Remember how no one had ever hugged Damen when he was sad, since he was a child? Laurent had a brother who loved him rather than one who liked to stab him in the guts. Once Laurent gets used to it, Laurent is going to be great at giving Damen all the non-sexual hugs he needs. Because he had a good role model.
I keep thinking about this because Damen’s been sexually active since he was thirteen (how old Laurent was at Marlas.) Sexual intimacy must’ve been the only intimacy he’s known. The narrative describes him as seeking solace in Jokaste’s body while his father was dying – not Jokaste, her body – just weeks before the books begin. On their own, I wouldn’t think there’s anything wrong, necessarily. But he hasn’t been comforted since he was a boy – he started having sex at a young age – sex is his main way to process emotion? Plus growing up around slaves? How toxic is the masculinity in Akielos? Probably very.
The only exception I can think to this would be Nikandros, who Damen multiple times in story expresses a physical, non-sexual intimacy with. But Nikandros was given Delpha after Marlas, and assuming he and Damen are close in age, they would have been on opposite sides of the country at nineteen.
Then along comes “frigid” Laurent, who bucks the sexual expectations of his court and culture where Damen was the picture of his. Laurent makes Damen learn emotional intimacy from the ground-up.
Honestly? It makes Damen’s reaction the morning after the “I miss you, I miss our conversations” scene a little heartbreaking. Outside Nikandros, who else would miss Damen like that? To everyone else he’s either Damianos, the Crown Prince, or they’ve betrayed him. It means Laurent sees him, knows him. Laurent is the only person Damen’s been intimate with on every level, and for someone described as giving his affections and loyalty completely? That’s home.
I think about this ALL THE TIME because I feel like the loss of these men’s mothers is crucial to all of this. The negative space visible in the story that they left is really very obvious the more you think about it.