Eiji’s war

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Originally posted on 22 December 2019 in Turkish here.

No, I’m not done yet.

I previously wrote about how Eiji found a new purpose in life after meeting Ash and getting to know his world, which helped him come out of the depression he suffered back in Japan. But what exactly is Eiji’s new purpose in life? It’s saving Ash from his very “different” world.

In the beginning of the story, we saw how devastated Eiji was when he found out that Ash was ready to use his one and only trump card (the capsule containing the Banana Fish drug) against Golzine, knowing full well that he wouldn’t win.

Ash had risked his own life to save Eiji’s when he didn’t know him at all and now Eiji doesn’t have the heart to let him walk to his death. It’s like he’s thinking to himself, “How can a boy my age find himself in such an impasse?” This is the first time we see Eiji rebel against the world Ash’s living in.

But Eiji does more than silently shed tears, especially once things get more complicated. For example, here he’s basically telling Ash to quit doing things that would put him in harm’s way.

Later, when it becomes clear that there’s no “quitting” in this world (because they simply won’t let you), Eiji comes up with a different suggestion.

Different worlds: Eiji (3)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Originally posted on 19 December 2019 in Turkish here.

This is the part where things get complicated. Eiji will discover the true extent of Ash’s solitude and try to save him from a fatalistic mindset.

Like I mentioned in the other meta, Ash doesn’t want to kill. On the other hand, he shows no mercy to those who sold their friends out to Arthur. Or let me rephase that: Ash can’t take the risk of showing mercy to these spineless cowards who indirectly caused members of his gang to be killed. In the meantime, Eiji more or less knows what Ash is up to until late at night. He pieces together the bits he overheard Ash tell his gang members and the news about gang violence. Still, Eiji doesn’t judge him without hearing his side of the story. Instead he calmly asks him about what is going on.

Eiji gives Ash an opportunity to explain himself first. When Ash brushes him off, he points out the blood stain on his t-shirt, making it clear that he wants an explanation. He shows Ash the article on New York Times and asks him “Did you do this?” Then he softly adds “I don’t want to believe it…” This last sentence serves to make Ash understand that Eiji’s disappointed in him. Yeah, that’s just how good Eiji is at expressing his emotions.

Ash, on the other hand, is already feeling guilty about the lives he took, so being confronted about it makes him angry and defensive. He brazenly tells Eiji “And so what?” I think Ash is trying to act all nonchalant about it because he’s trying to convince himself that he did the right thing. But Eiji doesn’t know what to make of this sudden shift in attitude because just a few days ago he witnessed the extent of Ash’s trauma with killing when Ash cried his heart out on his lap. So Eiji gets angry because he’s scared. He wanted to protect Ash’s soul but now he’s scared that he has already lost him for good. Fueled by disappointment, his next remark hits home: “You now are not you! You’re not the Ash that I and Skip and Shorter knew so well!”

Remember the part where Eiji was thinking to himself that he feared Ash was slowly drifting away from him even when they were so close? This is the first time Eiji voices that fear, which leads Ash to conclude that Eiji started seeing him differently than before. And that thought is enough to make him panic because Ash always took consolation from the fact that, in Eiji’s eyes, he was just a teenager, not a cold-blooded murderer (although he just called himself a murderer in front of Eiji).

Seeing Ash storm out of the apartment, Eiji regrets his words immediately. He also feels guilty about defending others and telling Ash that he wouldn’t understand the feelings of the “have-nots” while he failed to understand Ash’s feelings in the first place. The last thing Ash said before he left the apartment keeps echoing in his mind: “I never ever wanted to be exceptional in my whole life!”

I assume Eiji then spent a sleepless night thinking things over and followed the logic I explained here, which lead him to look at things differently: Ash’s actions aren’t always dictated by his will or desires. He does certain things not because he wants to but because he has to, because “his world” compels him to. So Eiji decides to go and apologize to Ash as he thinks he hurt him while all he intended to do was to warn him. On the other hand, Ash probably thinks he lost Eiji for good after that fight like I explained in this meta. But it’s not like this was something he didn’t expect.

The look on Ash’s face here is just so raw… And this scene is proof enough that he didn’t believe Eiji when he said he would stay with him forever just the night before. For Ash, that was just an empty promise made on the spur of the moment by an innocent boy who didn’t belong in his world. But like everything else with Eiji, it was meant well.

Ash was ashamed of what he did and wanted to protect Eiji, so he didn’t tell him what he was up to, but of course he didn’t expect Eiji to remain clueless. That’s why I think it didn’t come as a surprise to Ash when Eiji wanted to confront him about the killings. But when Eiji outright tells him that his talents and gifts (which are nothing but a curse to Ash) make him exceptional, Ash is deeply hurt. Before, Ash always knew that Eiji was on his side even if he didn’t understand Ash’s feelings. Not this time. Ash realizes that Eiji’s not with him on this one and that realization makes him feel very lonely. That’s why he goes to the library. Ash turns to books when he has no one else. It’s as if the library is a reflection of his inner self.

The morning after the fight, Eiji asks Bones and Kong where Ash might be. They tell him, “The boss likes to come to the library when he wants to be alone.” Actually, it’s the other way around. Ash comes to the library because he feels alone. We know what went through Eiji’s mind when he found Ash reading on his own in the library because he tells Ibe-san at the end of the story. In that moment it’s like everything falls into place and Eiji makes up his mind.

Different worlds: Eiji (2)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Originally posted on 7 August 2019 in Turkish here.

In Part 1 of this meta, I wrote about Eiji’s life before he met Ash and how helping Ash became a new purpose in life for him at a time when he felt lost. In this part, Eiji will get to know Ash better and discover his inner turmoil.

When Ash finds out in Los Angeles that the whole business with Banana Fish is basically a bottomless shithole, the first thing he does is to talk to Eiji to send him back to Japan where he will be safe. He doesn’t mince his words at all and flat-out tells Eiji “You’re a handicap to us.” But by then, having learned about the kind of childhood Ash had and seen the place he grew up in, Eiji has grown more attached to Ash. Also, Eiji saw more action in the last couple of months than he ever had in his 19 years—all when he was with Ash. So, naturally Eiji’s deeply hurt to hear Ash dismiss him so callously, but at the same time he knows that Ash is doing this for his own good. Eiji also can’t help but admit Ash is right, saying, “I can’t even protect myself. I will just mess things up… I know I’m useless.” But to Eiji’s surprise, Ash disagrees.

This is also the first time when Eiji gets a glimpse of what Ash thinks of him. Ash doesn’t go easy on him but makes sure that Eiji understands how unusual it is for Ash to see someone do something for him without expecting anything in return. As for Eiji, he did what he did because he wanted to and he thought it was something to be taken for granted. I had the impression that he was going to say “Anybody would have done the same thing” in the scene above before Ash interrupts him.

The sad thing is that the next time Ash and Eiji get together after this scene, they will have been cheated by Yut-lung, lost Shorter and barely escaped from Golzine’s clutches.

After Shorter’s death, Ash and Eiji grow more attached to one another. While the guilt of having killed his best friend gives Ash nightmares, Eiji becomes an anchor in his life, allowing Ash to mourn Shorter. As for Eiji, he holds himself responsible for what happened, believing that Ash killed Shorter to save him, and decides to stay with Ash no matter what.

Different worlds: Eiji (1)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Originally posted on 24 July 2019 in Turkish here.

Previously, I wrote about Ash’s perspective on how he and Eiji live in different worlds. Now it’s Eiji’s turn... The story of Banana Fish gives us a couple of hints about Eiji’s life before he came to New York. But our main source for the ‘different world’ that Eiji’s living in is the side story Fly boy, in the sky which was written before Banana Fish began serialization.

Fly boy, in the sky tells the story of how Ibe-san and Eiji met. Eiji is introduced as a high school student living with his parents and little sister in his hometown Izumo. He’s no different from the Eiji we know, except for the hair. An obedient, good-natured, baby-faced boy. He opens his already huge eyes to see better because he’s near-sighted and refuses to wear glasses for fear that the other kids will make fun of him in school. Yes, he’s a perfectly normal teenager.

Eiji is a member of the school’s athletics club and competes in pole-vaulting. He’s got a rival from another school and although the two boys have been competing against each other since middle school, his rival has grown a lot taller recently which puts Eiji at a considerable disadvantage. Now he keeps coming second in competitions (The second character in Eiji’s name “二” means “two”).

At home, things are not so easy for Eiji either. His father was hospitalized a year ago due to liver disorders, so Eiji has been living with his mother, sister and grandmother ever since. The family is not doing great financially. But above all, the 17-year-old Eiji is away from his father when he needs a male role model around the most. And he can’t bear to see his mother flirting with other men.

But Eiji really loves pole-vaulting even if he doesn’t realize it. When his body is suspended midair for two seconds, his mind becomes free of all thought and an expression of pure bliss appears on his face. So much so that Eiji can’t recognize himself when Ibe-san shows him the photos he took of Eiji when he was ‘flying’.

Then we find out in Banana Fish that Eiji badly injured his foot and, although the injury eventually healed, he could no longer pole-vault. And later when he lost his sports scholarship, he became more and more withdrawn. Ibe-san tries very hard to lift him out of this depressive episode and finally decides to take Eiji to the US with him, thinking that some change of scenery might be good for him.

So the now 19-year-old Eiji finds himself in New York as Ibe-san’s assistant and meets Ash.

Merhaba! Banana Fish’in mangasını sağ olsun Fratello Fansubs’daki arkadaşlar Türkçe’ye çevirdi. Mangadex’e de yüklediler ama oraya şu an ulaşılamıyor gibi. Onun için kendi sayfalarından indirerek okuyabilirsin.

Merhaba! Sorun için teşekkür ederim. Sayende Akira’nın karakteriyle ilgili etraflıca düşünme fırsatı buldum. Basitçe cevap vereyim diye yola çıktım, ortaya ufak çaplı bir meta çıktı. Garden of Light’ı ne kadar çok sevdiğimi her fırsatta söylüyorum ama inanır mısın, sorunun cevabını toplarlarken Garden of Light sevgim daha da depreşti.

Akira, Ibe-san’ın yeğeni. Akira’yı sadece Işıklar Bahçesi (Garden of Light) adlı yan hikayede görüyoruz. Eiji, Akira’yı New York’a gelmeden önce, yani Banana Fish’teki bütün olaylar olmadan önce de tanıyor. Bu arada Eiji, Akira’ya “Aa-chan” diyor. Akira kız olduğu için “-chan” ekini kullanıyor. İsmini “Aa” diye kısaltması ise aralarında önceden bir tanışıklık, bir samimiyet olduğunu gösteriyor. 

1994 yılında geçen hikayede 13 yaşındaki Akira, 28 yaşındaki Eiji’yi ziyarete New York’a geliyor. Şimdi kontrol ettim, 13 yaşında olduğu hikayede açıkça yazmıyor, ama Banana Fish Official Guidebook REBIRTH’te yazıyor.

Akira’nın New York’a gelmesinin sebebi ta Banana Fish’te Eiji’nin New York’a gelme sebebiyle aynı: Hava değişikliği ve kafa dağıtmak. Fikir de yine Ibe-san’dan çıkmış bu arada! Adam bunalımda olan herkesi New York’a gönderiyor.

Peki Akira neden bunalımda? Hikayenin sonlarına doğru Eiji’nin anlattığına göre Akira’nın anne babası pek iyi anlaşamıyormuş. Akira da bundan kendini sorumlu tutuyormuş. Çünkü babası hep oğlu olsun istermiş ve bu istediği yerine gelmediği için sık sık hayıflanırmış. Akira’nın önünde bile. Akira da babasının istediği gibi erkek değil de kız doğduğu için kendini suçlu hissediyor ve kendini bir kız çocuğu olarak kabul etmekte zorlanıyor.

Ayrıca, hikayede bahsedildiği gibi “Akira” (“暁” diye yazılıyor, ‘şafak’ anlamına geliyor) genellikle erkeklere konan bir isim (Ben de aynı durumdan muzdaribim biraz). Onun için Akira ismini hiç sevmiyor (Ben de eskiden aynı sebepten ötürü kendi ismimi sevmezdim). Bu da yetmezmiş gibi akranları gibi hanım hanımcık görünmediği için de üzülüyor. Eiji bile onunla ilk tanıştığında Akira’yı oğlan sanmıştı. Hatta şimdi şunu fark ettim: Sing, Ash’i “sarışın, yeşil gözlü ve çok güzel” diye anlatınca Akira haliyle Ash’i kız sanıyor ve onu hayalinde tam da olmak istediği gibi bir kız olarak canlandırıyor ve öyle çiziyor.

Bu arada şunu da belirtmek lazım: Akira, en son daha çocuk yaştayken gördüğü Eiji’yi bu sefer ergen haliyle görünce ona çocukça bir aşk beslemeye başlıyor ve Eiji’nin hala başkasını (hem de yıllar önce ölmüş birini) sevdiğini öğrenince de kendi çapında onu kıskanıyor. Kıyamam!

Eiji’nin Sing’e anlattığına göre Akira’nın yaşadığı bu bunalım ergenliğe adım atmasıyla daha da depreşmiş ve ilk kez regl olmasıyla birlikte sağlık sorunları baş göstermiş. Bütün bunları uzaktan izleyip Eiji’ye mektuplarında anlatan Ibe-san da Akira’nın New York’ta Eiji’nin yanında zaman geçirmesinin ona iyi geleceğini düşünmüş ve Akira’nın annesini kızını Amerika’ya göndermeye ikna etmiş.

Bu noktada da Eiji’nin neden Akira’yı çok sevdiği kısmına geliyoruz. Aslında bence Eiji’nin Akira’yı başkalarından ayrı sevdiği yok. Sadece Sing’in söylediği gibi Eiji adeta yaradılışı gereği ruhu yaralı olan insanları uzaktan sezip onlara destek olmaya programlanmış birisi. Burada da tam olarak onu yapıyor: Akira’ya onu olduğu gibi sevdiğini, onun bir kız çocuğu olarak da değerli olduğunu hissettiriyor. Tıpkı zamanında Ash’e de onu olduğu gibi kabul ettiğini hissettirdiği gibi.

(Ash’in gerçek adı “Aslan”la ilgili ta ne zaman birkaç bir şey yazmıştım. Yeri gelmişken onun da linkini buraya bırakayım.)

Requiem For Him

@NekoKinu on Twitter posted these announcement pages from Bessatsu Shoujo Magazine for Garden of Light (link in source). 

When I first saw these on @bananaroom7​’s blog more than a year ago, the caption “Requiem For Him” had caught my attention immediately. I thought it was a very fitting caption for Garden of Light, because the whole story is about how Ash’s legacy lives within those who loved him. 

Fast forward to today, when I actually bothered to read Ura Banana, I saw this.

A story of requiem and revival... The requiem is undoubtedly for Ash and the revival in question should be of Eiji. In the end of Garden of Light, Eiji finally opens the box with Ash’s photos which he sealed away years ago because he just couldn’t bear to confront his grief over Ash’s death. He apologizes to Ash’s soul for keeping him locked up for so long and he looks at his photos one by one, letting the memories flood him. He then chooses one of the photos, entitled “Dawn”, to be featured in his exhibition. 

This act both serves as a requiem for Ash and marks the revival of Eiji’s soul.

Do you know what the Banana Fish anime lacks?

I mean, besides Eiji’s missing “forever” line (Seriously MAPPA, how could you?!)

A “Fish Bone” t-shirt!

From Ura Banana:

Blanca: ‘uncool’ in the eyes of teenagers since 1982

Different worlds: Ash (3)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

Originally posted on 7 June 2019 in Turkish here.

When I think back at everything that happened in Banana Fish, I realize that in the end, Ash’s story parallels that of the leopard in Hemingway’s The Snows of Kilimanjaro. 

A leopard, removed from his natural habitat, kept climbing the mountain. He weathered the snow and the storms, and went higher and higher, thinking he would never go back to where he came from. When he finally made it to the summit, he saw a bird flying in the sky. His eyes followed the bird’s trail, making him turn and look behind him. Seeing all the distance he traveled, hope bloomed in his heart. Maybe he could go back after all? And he started running. As he was racing down the slope at full speed, he suddenly tripped on a rock and fell. When he came to, he realized that he had injured himself and couldn’t walk anymore. The mountain he never should have been forced to climb was going to be his final resting place. As the snow covered the leopard’s body little by little, he thought back to the bird that gave him hope and finally found peace (This allegory was inspired by this post by @yukipri​).

When Ash is talking to Eiji about the leopard in Hemingway’s short story, he tells him that he’s wondering which way the leopard’s carcass was facing. Did the leopard die when he was still climbing up the mountain or when he was trying to get down from it? According to my interpretation of the ending of Banana Fish, the leopard’s carcass was definitely facing down the summit, meaning he was trying to go back. Throughout the story, Eiji tried to make Ash believe that he could change his fate and that it was possible for him to live a normal life. And finally, he succeeded even though he didn’t know about it then. The fact that Ash started running to catch Eiji at the airport after reading his letter is proof that he did, at least for me.

Thinking of the ending in this way, makes me feel a little bit better about Ash’s death. This and the smile on his face when he drifted into eternal sleep. “You’re not alone, Ash. I’m with you. My soul is always with you.” These lines give Ash peace in his final moments. For him—this child who didn’t see himself worthy of love—this is the true “summit.” Eiji’s unconditional love is the greatest happiness for Ash. Just like he says in this scene.

The End

“Go ahead... You have every right.”