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25 • she/they • black & japanese • bi/aro
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touch starved neuvillette is literally such a good headcanon, every time i see it in fics im like oh hell yeah.

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reblogged

Both Day and Night's anger is so real and I love that.

Day's anger that his life has changed overnight, that he's gone from a national athlete to someone who can't navigate by himself and has no independence, can't cook or take care of himself, and all that frustration and grief turns into anger and he takes it out on the people he knows cant leave him, the safest one, the ones who are there and won't leave because he can be angry at them when he hates everything happening around him so much that he just can't cope.

And Night is trying to find a place in a life that has flipped upside down as well. He's become a caregiver for a brother who is too angry to accept help and who is hurting him as well as himself and his mother and they're all carrying unfamiliar weight and fears and a future that seems so far away.

Their mother cares for them and loves them but she doesn't know how handle this change in them or in their dynamic and she wants the best for her sons and she loves them but she is struggling to cope with the changes the same as they are while trying to cover up those struggles and be the protective and loving mother she wants to be.

Mhok really is exactly who Day needs because Day needs someone that can come into his new life and not see it as a new life but just as a life, just a life that he can lead. Day needs someone who seems as capable of learning and of living and willing to push him to try and to live and that's what he needs.

Not someone who sees his past and the their past and the life he lead and the world he lived in before but the future he can hold onto now and the future he can have.

And someone who can handle his anger. Someone who can understand his anger. Someone who can be there when he's angry and not take it personally.

That's why they need each other. Even if they don't know it.

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hikaru ga shinda natsu is about coming back wrong and haunting the narrative and being queer in a small rural town and internalised homophobia and summers that feel like they'll never end and the codependent homoerotic friendship you had when you were 15 and what it means to be dead or alive and navigating a world you feel like you dont belong to and grief and mourning and obsession and love and most importantly, having gay thoughts for the eldritch monster that bodysnatched your friend's corpse

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benkaben

The monstrous and the grotesque as an allegory of the true and hidden self, an allegory of the secrets and things we kept inside, as an allegory for being queer and having to hide that part of you because it's "dangerous" and "gross", and the hope to find someone who would love us after all.

Even after we tried to consume them. Love and lust as cannibalism and consumption and fitting your hand through their chest.

etc. etc.

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