Elon is recruiting randos from Twitter to compete for the chance to work themselves to death figuring out how to take away your welfare.
Elon is recruiting randos from Twitter to compete for the chance to work themselves to death figuring out how to take away your welfare.
Nothing says efficiency like creating a whole ass new department with two co-chairs.
Got off a video call with my grandma. Asked her what sort of American foods she was enjoying (my dad flew her in from Korea and she's staying with him in Phoenix rn). She said most of the food isn't too impressive but she's addicted to a specific candy, and when she held up a bag of Werther's Originals I started howling
“Pearls”, Westermann monatsmagazin welt - kunst - kultur, 1970.
Literally all the demons on this website 💀
i gotta remember this
variations on "feel old yet" meme:
lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago
lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago
lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago
lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago
real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago
real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago
event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago
event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago
event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago
real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago
lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago
lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago
real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago
reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years
reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years
reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years
reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years
reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years
reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes
real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago
lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago
reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow
reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes
real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago
lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago
lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago
making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago
technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago
threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days
non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar
non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire
lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago
self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago
giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\
i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?
declarative statement: you feel old.
subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.
reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.
reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago
hey man. nice regional dialect. mind if i apply some baseless assumptions about your personhood to it? i was also gonna prescribe morality to it as well. if that’s cool with you
need what hugh grant and his wife have
Regardless of your gender or sexuality, reblog this and tag your most hetero male trait. Mine is either obsessing over my Altima or sitting around watching TV shows about air disasters.
Explain yourself.
some people might not have seen all of them yet
Omg Suzy you’re so crazy
poker is a hateful game that punishes people who wear their beautiful sensitive heart on their sleeve
from a young age i knew i wanted to give up when things got hard