Email Draft to Disney

(We are encouraging communication about this draft. Make suggestions and comments as you see fit!)

To Bob Iger, Kathleen Kennedy, Dave Filoni, Jennifer Corbett, and the creative team of Star Wars: The Bad Batch:

We hope this email finds you all well. We are fans of color, disabled fans, neurodivergent fans, and Jewish fans writing out of concern for the portrayal of our communities in the series Star Wars: The Bad Batch. For several months now, we have been campaigning on social media to spread awareness about these concerns through #UnwhitewashTBB, a movement we began to raise awareness about the ways in which the series has poorly represented several minoritized groups of people.

All of the creators of #UnwhitewashTBB grew up with Star Wars as the backbones of their childhoods, and for many of us, Star Wars: The Clone Wars was crucial to our development as lifelong Star Wars fans. We are all firm believers in the phrase “Star Wars is for everyone”, and we would like to see Disney support that message by hearing our plea.

As fans of color, as disabled fans, as neurodivergent fans, and as Jewish fans, we’ve seen ourselves on screen in both good and bad ways, but recently it has been more than latter than the former. One such reason is Star Wars: The Bad Batch, a show whose premise piqued many fans’ interest, but whose main cast has left an increasingly sour taste in the mouths of those who watched.

The #UnwhitewashTBB movement comes with two carrds explaining the grievances of the fans, one long and one short:

We respectfully ask that you read one or both of these carrds and give a public statement in response to these criticisms.

Our movement has only gained traction since its inception on March 30th, 2021. A few months later, we wrote and released an Open Letter to be signed by supporters of #UnwhitewashTBB, and every day it gains new signatures and draws nearer to the next milestone. A survey we released over a month ago has received over 1,100 responses and also continues to climb. The latter displays a range of opinions regarding The Bad Batch, but one sentiment stands out: Hunter, Crosshair, Tech, Wrecker, Omega, and Echo are written in stereotypical and actively harmful ways. Respondents were shocked at outdated portrayals of Autism, sickened by antisemitic stereotypes, and confused at how, in this current social and political climate, a family-friendly corporation like Disney could greenlight a series that sends a message that is the complete opposite of “Star Wars is for Everyone”.

Fans of color, neurodivergent fans, disabled fans, and Jewish fans have been waiting for the day where “Star Wars is for everyone” actually applies to us. If Disney’s message is truly family-friendly, if Star Wars is for everyone, then Disney needs to support these views with not just words, but with actions. Resolve the racism in Star Wars: The Bad Batch, take out the antisemitism, and treat your nonwhite, disabled, and neurodivergent characters--and fans--with the respect and dignity they deserve.

It is our hope that you will take our concerns as well as the concerns of others into account, and address the issues that we have outlined in order to better reflect the Walt Disney Company’s commitment to inclusive, diverse entertainment for audiences of all ages. Thank you for your attention to this issue.

Respectfully,

Fans of The Bad Batch

hi guys, this is really good, a good tone and very clear on why we’re writing and what we believe.

this might just be a personal thing, but i wouldn’t use the term ‘family friendly’. i believe it’s used twice in the letter, please correct me if i’m wrong. the first use, where you call disney a ‘family friendly corporation’, you could say ‘a company of disney’s size and scope…’ etc. you could tie this into a section on how we believe companies have social responsibility, and that extends to representing marginalised groups in a non-discriminatory light, and we believe this isn’t being fulfilled.

the second use, is where you say ‘if disney’s message is family friendly…’. this is purely a personal thing, but if change family friendly for inclusive. inclusivity has more of a meaning to anyone who might have a familiarity with similar situations in other shows. but the effect will be mostly the same and family friendly works well. i see you’ve used ‘inclusive’ in the closing statement, so this could be left as it is.

also, i’m really sorry if this sounds like i’m nitpicking, but saying ‘the unwhitewashtbb movement comes with two carrds…’ could maybe be phrased as ‘the unwhitewashtbb movement has created two carrds…’. as with the second one, this is preference and what you’ve said works just as well.

these are just ideas, and what you’ve done is really good. you’re doing good work in the fandom, and i hope this is able to do something :)

You're not nitpicking at all! Thank you so much for this! I have a second draft up, if you would like to look.

Disney Email Draft 2

(going under a cut because it's much longer. Here is the Google Doc link for anyone who would like to comment directly)

Reminder that we are encouraging critiques and comments regarding this email!

@celebrate-the-clone-wars Here is the second draft! I plan to add the goals listed out in the Goals Page as well

Email Draft to Disney

(We are encouraging communication about this draft. Make suggestions and comments as you see fit!)

To Bob Iger, Kathleen Kennedy, Dave Filoni, Jennifer Corbett, and the creative team of Star Wars: The Bad Batch:

We hope this email finds you all well. We are fans of color, disabled fans, neurodivergent fans, and Jewish fans writing out of concern for the portrayal of our communities in the series Star Wars: The Bad Batch. For several months now, we have been campaigning on social media to spread awareness about these concerns through #UnwhitewashTBB, a movement we began to raise awareness about the ways in which the series has poorly represented several minoritized groups of people.

All of the creators of #UnwhitewashTBB grew up with Star Wars as the backbones of their childhoods, and for many of us, Star Wars: The Clone Wars was crucial to our development as lifelong Star Wars fans. We are all firm believers in the phrase “Star Wars is for everyone”, and we would like to see Disney support that message by hearing our plea.

As fans of color, as disabled fans, as neurodivergent fans, and as Jewish fans, we’ve seen ourselves on screen in both good and bad ways, but recently it has been more than latter than the former. One such reason is Star Wars: The Bad Batch, a show whose premise piqued many fans’ interest, but whose main cast has left an increasingly sour taste in the mouths of those who watched.

The #UnwhitewashTBB movement comes with two carrds explaining the grievances of the fans, one long and one short:

We respectfully ask that you read one or both of these carrds and give a public statement in response to these criticisms.

Our movement has only gained traction since its inception on March 30th, 2021. A few months later, we wrote and released an Open Letter to be signed by supporters of #UnwhitewashTBB, and every day it gains new signatures and draws nearer to the next milestone. A survey we released over a month ago has received over 1,100 responses and also continues to climb. The latter displays a range of opinions regarding The Bad Batch, but one sentiment stands out: Hunter, Crosshair, Tech, Wrecker, Omega, and Echo are written in stereotypical and actively harmful ways. Respondents were shocked at outdated portrayals of Autism, sickened by antisemitic stereotypes, and confused at how, in this current social and political climate, a family-friendly corporation like Disney could greenlight a series that sends a message that is the complete opposite of “Star Wars is for Everyone”.

Fans of color, neurodivergent fans, disabled fans, and Jewish fans have been waiting for the day where “Star Wars is for everyone” actually applies to us. If Disney’s message is truly family-friendly, if Star Wars is for everyone, then Disney needs to support these views with not just words, but with actions. Resolve the racism in Star Wars: The Bad Batch, take out the antisemitism, and treat your nonwhite, disabled, and neurodivergent characters–and fans–with the respect and dignity they deserve.

It is our hope that you will take our concerns as well as the concerns of others into account, and address the issues that we have outlined in order to better reflect the Walt Disney Company’s commitment to inclusive, diverse entertainment for audiences of all ages. Thank you for your attention to this issue.

Respectfully,

Fans of The Bad Batch

Looks good so far, the tone is professional and polite, but firm and you’re all stating your reason for writing and reinforcing that it is about making Star Wars accessible to all their fans. I think when pointing out the criticisms, it’s important to watch the tone and language that veers very close to accusatory – when you’re trying to level with people and have them understand your perspective, it’s good to keep things neutral and state things clinically.

I think it would be beneficial to also steer the conversation in why they would find this beneficial, near the end. Not to presume that they are soulless corporate droids (I mean…sort of) but…they are also not necessarily moved by moral obligation and it would be good to reinforce how making the changes you’re asking would be “profitable” for them in the long run. (I say this with gritted teeth.)

“Profitable” in that, when you’re appealing to the majority, more people are more likely to be fans and want the show to succeed at a larger scale. And to buy merchandise and support it – I think it’s also good to state the good things you still like about the show, and that it’s worth the time and money for them to put into making the revisions because despite the criticisms, we all like the potential of what it can be. Which means we do not want the show to fail or be cancelled – it has potential and thus, the potential to provide more revenue in the long run.

Make things easily digestible but also lay things out clearly for them to read it all in one go. I would avoid including external links altogether. Summarize things as best as you can even if the letter starts being very long – better to be thorough than worry about length. You’re only going to get one shot at this, make it count. Include numbers and data like the percentages of what you collected from the responses and also the amount of signatures accumulated at the time that you send the letter.

Lastly, I know this is just the email draft, but I hope you can also convert this to send as a letter (you can just make a version of this without links and print it out) and send it in addition to your emails.

Send separate copies to each of the people you intend on addressing. And I would also suggest emailing them separately too. When you’re sending them, address to the sender personally and point out specific achievements you admire and appreciate so it feels more personable and brings them into actually reading the letter further.

Let me know if you have questions or if there is anything else I can elaborate on, I think this is a good starting point, we’ll just need to be as thorough as possible.

Ah, thank you so much! I'll take all this and make the necessary adjustments.