mcdonald sprite lobotomize me

samwell vs yale

rereading check please + listening to a lot of chappel roan

You're stuck in a 24 hour timeloop, and the only other person who is aware it's a timeloop is a member of SMH. In this scenario, they're someone you see as part of your daily routine often enough that you recognize each other, but you're acquaintances at most. Escaping the time loop will require you to work with them, and you both have a pretty good reason to want to escape. You'll eventually make it out regardless of who you pick, though some might take a little longer.

You can't pick Johnson, but you will encounter him in exactly one loop where he delivers some important information and be left wondering who or what he is even after you've escaped.

(edit: poll now lasts a week, there were only 5 votes)

I’m needing y’all to watch these boys make a lasagne with GoPros and grabbers alone

insta link here

i noticed too while rereading that while bitty's bed is often in frame, his bed is usually made & pretty neat. but after he has the moment with jack in the kitchen and has his realization.... his pillows were mussed up, almost like he was screaming into one of them. or punching them? either way he's so relatable i love him

In "Hi Honey, Part II" when hiding Jack from his friends becomes too much and he reaches a breaking point, he retreats to his room to call Jack - but we can see his bed is in a similar disarray.

In a "Cup II - Summer with Jack" when he fails to come out to his mother, he's so distraught that he drops everything that he's doing. Where does Jack find him? The bed.

He regularly seeks out the physical comfort of his bed in times of emotional distress - a place that's both private and comforting. Relatable. Sometimes you just need to lie down for a bit for things to seem manageable. It's so easy to imagine this as a habit that developed as a kid.

More incidental observations about Bitty and beds below the cut.

just a thought but

bad bob zimmermann won his third stanley cup in 1978. he turns 57 in january of 2014 which means he was born 1957. he was 21 the third time he won a stanley cup with the montreal canadiens. 21.

he has won a stanley cup every season he has played since he was drafted at 18. and, in real time, the montreal canadians went on to win a fourth stanley cup the following season. four consecutive wins since he was drafted. since we dont know if the win with the pens in 1991 when he was 34 was his fourth or fifth or if he only played for the canadiens and the pens then it’s possible that bad bob won a number of stanley cups with a number of teams before retiring under the pittsburgh penguins

imagine living up to that

Why does my head say that he won four Cups? I mean, beyond the background in this comic: 

Also, in looking for an answer about how many wins the most-beringed player had, I have to wonder if Bad Bob was just hanging out with Scotty Bowman his whole career. (Head coach for the Canadiens for their 76-79 wins, and worked for the Pens for their 91 and 92 wins.)

ymmv but i always thought they were passing a line of cups as they were heading for the rink (but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

anyway (this got really long. haha. oh boy.)

the panel where the pens’ 1991 win thing doesn’t say that it’s the fourth cup

as opposed to in this panel

where it says “third time”. plus, the first one says jack’s pooped in more than one cup since he was born in 1990 (i’m assuming at another one of these…photoshoots? idk) so im gonna run with bob has a little more than four (i could be completely wrong! way off! but w/e)

but anyway i figured, he was drafted at 18, 1975, and then won the cups with the habs, ‘76, ‘77, and ‘78. he could have still been with the habs during their ‘79 win. or he could have been on another team. this is around the time wayne gretzky (four years younger than bob) and the oilers joined the nhl.

that’s three cups or a possible four cups for bob

the years 1980-83 the new york islanders had four consecutive wins. bob could have been playing for a completely different team. but. i’m trash. so.

that’s a possible seven or eight cups. possibly.

1984 is when mario lemieux (nine years younger than bob) played his first season with the pens after being drafted from the q.

it’s also the year that wayne gretzky, good (fictional) friend to bobby (uncle wayne!), wins his first cup with the oilers. i figured bob must have played with wayne at some point between 1978 and 1991, since they are friends to this day (but, again, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

the oilers win 5 cups in seven years (’84-’90).

so if bob was traded/signed with the oilers after his hypothetical trade/sign to the islanders (at just the right time. or actually bad bob is a stanley magnet. or this is a giant reach). that makes a possible twelve or thirteen. (or not, but, henri richard won 11 in 18 years, so not impossible, right. laughing.gif)

in ‘91 he’s with the pittsburgh pens and jack is one. this is, presumably, where he met, and subsequently befriended, mario lemieux.

the following year in ‘92 the pens nab the stanley again.

a possible fourteen or fifteen.

possibly. completely hypothetical.

after this, the only reason for bob to be wearing a habs jersey after jack is born and kicking (as shown in the hockey prince panel where bob’s wearing the habs uniform, skating out with jack who must be older than two by then), bob must have been traded/signed to the canadiens. back to montreal.

guess who won the cup in ‘93.

the canadiens. they win the stanley in ‘93. it’s the canadiens.

bob had jack skating by then. so he would have been able to walk?/skate? out with bob in 1993. or after if bob was traded to the canadiens after the ‘93 win. but since i’m reaching might as well go big right.

so that’s a possible, completely hypothetical, ready/willing to be jossed, fifteen or sixteen cups.

in eighteen years. roughly. if i follow my completely made up and not at all true timeline.

afterwards he would have retired at around forty-ish (average age) under not-the-pens-maybe-the-habs, when jack is around 6/7 or later if he continued to play after 40

anyway. this is my headcanon for it (and honestly just because i’m trash. laughing.gif) so feel free to ignore because this makes jack even more sad and feeds my other h/c that jack opted-out of the draft in 2008 (when he was eligible for it) bc he felt a lot of pressure to win the stanley after his first season and keep winning and he didn’t feel ready just yet to be drafted and deal with that. (idk why kent didn’t. maybe they made a pact. maybe kent is a black hole where all events are displaced and time is skewed. maybe he wanted to get drafted with jack because he was stupid in love and he wanted to play in the nhl together at the same time. idk. maybe.)

then jack took too much of his anti-anxiety meds (he was already taking more than prescribed to get rid of the anxiety while playing) either accidentally because he had built it up in his head by then. he wasn’t ready last year, so he has to be ready by now right? why isn’t he ready, why isn’t he as good as kent, as his father, what if he’s drafted second? what if he isn’t drafted first round? what if he doesn’t win the stanley his first season? what if he isn’t drafted at all? and he just kept taking more and more and more to keep it under wraps.

or he took them with the intent to harm himself so that he wouldn’t have to deal with it.

either way. it means he was hospitalised and opted out before the draft (maybe under the advice of someone from the nhl or his doctor. giving weight to the line “the kingdom did not want him” because he believed he was, to quote Ngozi, a fucking mess). was in the hospital while the draft happened (based on the headline ‘top prospect leaves draft’ in parse part ii) and subsequently going to rehab.

but of course this is completely hypothetical. made up. not real.

…i think i just talked myself into believing this. wow okay.

…holy fuck.

HAPPY PI DAY, BITTY, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD

hello have a lardo because my brain refuses to engage work mode

Something that's so funny to as a concept is that Jack, Chowder, Dex, and Whiskey all going to the NHL and reaching NHL stardom but and so they do a joint little interview segment, and Chowder is going on and on about how much Jack was a great captain, and so the moderator asks "I guess Jack was your best cattain in college, huh?"

And Chowder just immediately goes "Oh no Bitty was much better" and the moderator does a spit take

Dex is like "Bitty had a certain air about him when he was captain. He was commanding, but understanding and really lived up to the whole 'Got your back.' ...also, not gonna lie, it was kinda hot"

Whiskey just stares for a minute and goes "Jack was a great captain and did really good by the team." [A pause] "But Bitty didn't make us wake up for practice at 5am even for optional skate"

Jack is just looking at them all with a giant smile on his face and trying not to laugh as the other three chirp him

(Via @zimboniiiiii )

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT

Also the way that this would respark the whole Jack and Bitty stuff in the hockey world? Imagine ZimmerStans (thanks Abby /@zimms ) on Twitter seeing this interview and then just reblogging with gifs of the Center Ice Kiss and being like "Y'all surprised he loves his man?? smh"

And also Dex and Chowder just find old videos of Bitty as Captain and its literally so chaotic:

It goes viral and other SMH players are posting videos of Bitty as captain/during his senior year

Half of them show his ruthlessness as captain the other half have Beyonce involved somehow. There's a pie in every video.

When Bitty finally catches wind of it, he posts a video of a blog segment he never posted:

It has the caption "You learn from the best, eh?" and a kissy face

Jack retweets it with 🥧❤🏒

@ohyoufool and i have very serious conversations and this is one of them. please help us.

sorry I had to add @unloneliest's tags

Kent owns exactly 2 mugs with some ridiculous hockey pun on it and one is shoved in the very back of his cabinets because he doesn’t know how to give it to Jack

Jack has a sweater in his closet for a school he’s never been to. There’s a slip of paper tucked in a book with a message on it. A friendship bracelet still tied to his old bag.

Jack has a charm on his Keychain. It’s part of a set. He doesn’t remember what the other one looks like.

Kent has half a puck tucked away on a shelf. He has still has the receipt from the first time they snuck out to eat lunch. There’s a scar on the side of his leg from when they wrestled near a coffee table.

Jack has half a puck in his childhood bedroom. There’s a novelty hat from the place they always went to eat. There a box of bandaids half empty in the night stand.

the only villain in check please is homophobia and miscommunication

what about the sports commentators

damn u right

A Complete List of Check, Please! Villians

that bitch Carl