honest to god i know this is weird but i fucking love george shelley with my entire heart and soul. still. (and always). after 6 years. it just doesn’t stop. not that i thought it ever would. and like again i know this is weird but i literally felt like i was IN LOVE with the kid. genuinely. i mean what do i know about love anyway. and maybe it was just infatuation. or at least people will say so. but in my heart i felt like i was. some part of me will always feel that way about him. but after 6 years and after so much that has happened it’s different now. i love him differently. but the love i have for him is still intense and pure and it really is never gonna go away. like. ever. i know i dont know him and never will but at the same time i feel like i do on some level and on that level just seeing him grow from who he was when he first came into my life to now... god there are no words. its all beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. for so many reasons. i just know when i think about him i feel overwhelmed because holy shit. this all sounds fucking insane and i’m well aware of that but i don’t know how to intelligently put this into words no matter how hard i try it’s impossible. and probably dumb. because who even am i. i just know that i thank god or whoever or whatever is out there in the universe that put us on this planet at the same time. i sound like a walnut. but i mean it. like where the heck would i be right now had he not come into my life at the precise moment that he did. i learned so much from him. my favorite happy thought. helped me get through so much. the light in my life. ew. this is so gouda. but i can’t help it it honestly blows my mind that one person can make me feel so many things at once. i don’t even mean this in a weird way. even though it’s weird. my heart just bursts for him. and he hasn’t been around much lately. and i miss him so much. but im sure he’s just trying to grow. and be in peace. and all that stuff. an angel. he’s been through so much. i just want him to be happy.