Ok this is the best one i've seen.

"He would NOT fucking say that" does not apply to yoda, who could plausibly say anything

Took ecstacy and remembered people have feelings, I did. Making the rounds and apologizing for my past misdeeds I am

ik i said before that anidala were super divorced in the rebel padmé au, but let's be real, nothing's ever that simple with these two

(commission info // tip jar!)

as much as i love vader getting to fuck palpatine over, as much as i think it's the best thing, and as much as i love AUs where everyone gets together to curbstomp the emperor, i always wanted to see an AU where palpatine dies unexpectedly from the complications of being a bitch just because:

sorry, i love her but padme can't cook. she can't, there's just no way. she's probably had a private chef her entire life. she's brilliant and compassionate but she couldn't cook her way out of a wet paper bag. whenever i think about anidala, in any of those ROTS fix-it AUs, i think about, like, if padme lets go of her house staff on account of her husband having some concerns—i think a sense of self-reliance is pretty prioritized in the order, they don't pay staff to do the domestic work of the temple, they do it themselves—she's a go-getter, she is a compulsive workaholic, she can master cooking. she tries to cook an onion she hasn't peeled at nearly the temperature you're boil water at. in another instance she opened the oven door, forgot it was open, and walked into it, which means in the space emergency room padme has to tell a man with a straight face that she walked into an oven. i think her knife skills are 60% arrogance 40% sheer dumb luck, she tosses the knife around while she talks, she cuts toward herself, and she thinks mincing garlic is slapping a knife on a garlic clove until it's unrecognizable. the issue is that padme is stubborn, a perfectionist, and hates being wrong, so she only attempts cooking more often the more it implodes. but it is destined to implode. the only reason padme stops trying to cook and just agrees that anakin can take that chore is because watching padme handle a knife stresses him out so badly his blood pressure hits stroke risk range. like, i cannot emphasize enoug, i denand that padme has to stop trying to cook not because anakin asked her to, but because anakin is so massively stressed just watching her cook that it becomes medically necessary. he can't do it alone. he has to take a xanax if she's so much as using the toaster oven

(I don't think this post has made it here yet but if it has, I'll happily take it down)

Holy shit this got really funny to really sad really quick

rebump

oh my god it’s the real one. I’m so used to the stupid Skyrim edit.

SLAYY

I really need to understand who, in the fucking seven hells, not only designed this thing and thought it looked good, but also thought that it would have been a gown good enough for the fucking Galactic Senate of the Republic.

It looks so cheap, the symbol of the order looks like one of the patches I have on my backpack, the completely white textureless dress is boring as fuck, the shape of the cloak is atrocious and the material of it looks like an old curtain my grandma had, that was chewed by our dog.

I really don’t get how a serie with 180 million managed to have such cheap quality for literally everything.

Like, where the fuck did those millions go, to the mafia?

Both The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones had a budget of 115 million!!!! Just look at the stunning dresses that they made for those movies:

LOOK AT THE DETAILS!! AT THE TEXTURES!!!! AT THE SHAPES!!!!!! LOOK AT THEM.

And now they wanna make me believe that that thing Vernestra is wearing is supposed to be a Senatorial gown???? They could have at least tried to make the style more Jedi-like but no, they needed too much creativity for that I guess...

#Omfg you’re right they do look like iron on patches how did I not notice #also they just took a blank white dress (they really just cut and sewed the simplest pattern they could find on the blandest cloth possible#huh) and just slapped a Jedi belt on it

#This shit makes me wanna revisit those formal Jedi clothes I did for the ocs a while back lmao #You can’t convince me Jedi don’t have ppl who love to do textile work come the fuck on#Like cmon give us some EMBROIDERY some TEXTURE I get the Jedi are intentionally supposed to have little colour#but this isn’t in the era where they’re wearing all brown* she’s in a temple filled with ppl wearing COLOURS #That not-cloak looks handmade like that’s a good start! Where’s the rest of the effort :|

#*even in the main prequels where most Jedi are primarily wearing shades of brown there’s still so much COLOUR so much PERSONALITY#just look at luminara who’s THE SAME FUCKING SPECIES#Ngl the ppl who were in charge of this we’re either super lazy super underpaid or people who fully believe the Jedi take away ppl cultures#Or some combination of those

YES @subway-intercom YOU GET ME!!!!!!

These bastards won't let the Jedi serve cunt like they deserve to do 😔

Also, oooohh I remember your formal Jedi clothes 👀👀👀

“Not a master. The master,” Mace had said. “Be who you are, and Grievous will never defeat you.”

- RotS novelization (i hope you don't mind me adding to your post 😊)

and then obiwan fucking shoots him

parry this you filthy casual :)

Watching Star Wars was a mistake. For years I’ve derived so much pleasure from seeing discourse on my timeline that’s like “it’s actually a pretty good writing choice that Glimbo Knutts manipulated the imbledimbians in the force to make Darth Freeble his personal jedi froogler. It gives the original trilogy more depth” and not knowing what the fuck anybody is talking about. But now I do and it’s ruined. I understand what you freak ass dorks are saying and it isn’t fun anymore. Glimbo Knutts making Darth Freeble his jedi froogler DOES give the original trilogy more depth. This sucks man

I once had to explain to my then-gf that Star Wars is like "at the end of the day, even a single person can be a ripple in the movement to destroy fascism. the empire will crumble when confronted with the inherent goodness of the human spirit. to hope is not weak, our hope makes us strong. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, Admiral Beebo?" and then a little frog in a fighter jet goes "BEEBO WEEE-HOO!"

I was thinking about how funny it would be if, as I've joked before, Anakin was Extremely Online and spent a ton of time on an R2 Unit Hobbyist Forum or something. Like obviously Obi-Wan and Padme and Ahsoka etc all know he's super into tricking out his astromech, but they don't realize he's got this whole other life that no one else knows about and he's like, sneaking away to go to conventions and meetups. And on the flip side, none of his online friends know he's a Jedi, they just know him as radakin12345 or whatever. Maybe he gives them a fake "real" name when he meets his internet friends in person so that they won't be able to find out who he really is. (Everyone's always kind of concerned for his well-being because half the time when he finally joins them at the bar at the hotel they're all staying at for this year's con, he looks like he just came off of a battlefield, for God's sake.)

I felt like this would be humorous until I considered the aftermath of Anakin's fall, because maybe he just totally drops off the face of the universe then and stops responding to DMs and emails and his fanzine stops publishing new issues. All of his friends think he's either decided he hates them, or he's died, and they have no way to confirm anything one way or another. Like, somebody probably eventually starts a Radakin12345 Memorial Thread or something. 😢 But then I realized that I have no reason to suspect that Anakin wouldn't just keep right on posting even when he's Darth Vader (I mean, Artoo might be gone, but he's got a whole warehouse full of other droids to work on, and also this is an excellent way to keep an eye out for a particular blue astromech maybe showing up in buy/sell/trade threads.) So now the idea that a bunch of clueless internet nerds are, unbeknownst to them, friends with one of the most terrifying beings in the entirely galaxy is making me laugh.

(They all wonder why he suddenly decided not to come to any more in-person gatherings, though. Anakin claims the conventions have just gotten "too commercial" for his tastes. It used to be about the droid-building, man. 😂)

I see this and raise you Luke Skywalker in those forums, picking up tips and tricks from him because no other droid builder on the forums has been able to give him a straight answer about adapting the designs for sand

Untitled Goose Game but you play as R2-D2 and your job is to ruin the Empires day.

It's a wonder day in the Senate, and you are a horrible droid.

*grabby hands*

Press X to make an oil slick right when Palpatine walks by. Press Y to shriek insults in binary.

its the y2k/2038 problem all over again

A dumb comic about Grievous’ collection~

you get back here with those tags

popular holotuber spacebomberguy has uploaded a new five hour video essay! it starts as a critique of the new “dress like a senator” fashion line and it’s place in pro-republic clone wars propaganda, before spiraling into a discovery that chancellor palpatine is a sith lord!! reactions on the holonet are mixed, with macewinduofficial declaring the video “necessary viewing for all of coruscant” while anakinskyyyy3534 replied to a link with “TLDW”

…..i wrote it

literally going to think of this 4ever

tag yourself im outerimjob