At what age does your life start coming together instead of falling apart?

I've never needed help so bad in my fucking life. I'm falling apart

My heart is really hurting. I literally can't stop thinking. My chest is tight. My mouth is dry. I just want to close my eyes and never open them again.

I'm sad again. I just want to cry, get high and be fucked hard.

All I wanna do is fuck, sleep, be rich

cuddles would be hella rad right now because i'm so tired and i just never can sleep like a normal human being.

i'm as baked as a cake to be honest.~

every time i think i'm over you and find someone new it's so wonderful feeling. and then i get proven not good enough or something along those lines, i go straight back into craving you and your words and our past and just the way you'd hold me and touch me when i was upset. and i know i can never have that again. i just don't know what to do with this feeling anymore. it's not fair, i try so hard to be good enough for people i care for and it doesn't work, i tried so hard to be enough for you and that wasn't good enough. i put my everything into it, and it's never enough. ever.

this really isn't okay.....

i just want to sleep and be cuddled for hours. do you see my struggle?

maybe i'm just not meant to be happy.

sad highs... they blow.

i feel lower than lower.

i'd rather just lose all feelings or just be with anyone and not have feelings for them and just do that. i wish i felt better about myself. i wish shit was easier.

i don't know man, i just really don't like this living shit.

i don't even vent on tumblr in any kind of way now.....

life is just a fucking joke.

i don't want to keep pretending i'm okay...

sitting in bed, drinking some green tea, thinking about how i don't want to ever go to school again. y'know.