I want to be happy, I mean I am thanks to him but I still am so depressed. Maybe it's because i'm not good enough. Or that i'm fat or that i'm not even close to beautiful. And I need to try so much harder to not be left and it drains me. Because I put so much effort into every damn thing out there and barely get anything. I am dying right now and all I can do is listen to the rain and hope I fall asleep tonight and try not to kill myself with overthinking. But that's so hard because I have so much on my mind, it drives me crazy.. I need to be babied because i'm a needy fuck and why I don't know.