last night i poured my heart out into a message to someone, he hasn't read it yet and ever since i sent it i've been having the worst anxiety attacks, i can't do this.. i can't take this.
i told you i'd always be there for you, i told you i would never leave your side.
i'm still here, just like i said.
but, the thing is.. you promised the same thing and you're the one that left..
it sucks being in love with someone that hates you and that you fucked up with.
no just continue being a self centered cunt, and then when i kill myself you can go and talk to all your bar buddies about how selfish i was for ending myself.
i don't know, most people my age already have their futures planned out, jobs planned out, colleges picked, etc. i don't even know if i will make it out of high school. all my friends are leaving, they all have plans, they're all so smart and appreciated. they sit there and debate if they should do this, or that or buy this or go here, etc and do you know what i debate? i debate if i should push for a bit longer or end it right now. there's something wrong there.
they'll all be celebrating their successful lives this summer and i'll be killing myself. they wont even know, they outgrew me, they wont even miss me, they wont even think about me, they wont care. and you know what? i wont care either.