Iago

Whumpee, who never dealt with the shit whumper put them through; Eh, if I don’t think about it for long enough, the info will corrode to the point it just feels like a fever dream

Caretaker; nope, your ass is going to therapy. consider this an intervention.

Whumpee; noooooooo

Whumpee to caretaker after going back to whumper second time around; thing is you knew. you told me I would get hurt and what did I do? I didn't listen. I just had to get burned. *sob* but hey, what’s a fool to a jester?

Hitoshi; my dreams are weird. cause they’ll be low budget movie quality that have a charm about them. all the sfx and shit being done in house. thing is I could be asleep for only half an hour yet feel as if I’ve seen a whole feature length.

Neito; so what was this one about?

Hitoshi; that’s the thing. I don’t know, only synopsis my brain gives me is someone’s half assed letterbox review.

Neito; couldn’t you just mindjack yourself to remember it?

Hitoshi; no, tried mindjack on myself before. doesn’t work. back when, all that training with Aizawa at U.A. just to see if I could.

Neito; ...am I ever in these dreams of your's?

Hitoshi; all the damn time...wouldn't ever forget such a pretty face.

[playing DND]

Reader; did you not go to bed?

Charlie; no, I was hoping to sleep with you

Reader (stuttered); in, uh, in what context?

Charlie; whichever one you want

Reader (breaking character); whoever the fuck is the equivalent of ‘oh, lawd jesus, mary, & joseph’ in this world! you can’t just say shit like that!

Source; TikTok

This is supposed to have similar vibes to those crack treated seriously type bf asmr vids. Lmk how I did.

Whumper, holding Whumpee in a chokehold; shhh, shhh, it's okay. just go to sleep. take a little nap.

Whumper; I know I said on our facetime calls that I was taking you out for a date to celebrate that big promotion you'd gotten at work. The one you had worked your ass off for, the one that you'd been passed over on time and time again....blah, blah, blah. [Whumpee slowly lowers whumpee to the ground, leaning them onto their chest]

Whumper; --oh, you're asleep. Thought it would take longer. Probably not wise to admit this but I am a virgin when it comes to this. I know, not something you want to hear your dear lover turned kidnapper to say aloud. You just looked so--lovely.

Whumper; anyways, where was I? Shall I continue my monologue? Where was I? That's right, unfortunately, you, my snookums put in your phone's passcode while doing your makeup. Wasn't that hard to remember, I mean you were naive enough to put it as 123456. One smart thing you did was telling your "bestie" the location of the restaurant. [Whumper boops their nose after they finished dragging them into their van]

[the sound of a car's sliding door slams shut, driving to a warehouse location. duct tape ripped as to restrain their wrists against a chair]

Whumper; wakey wakey, eggs and bakey [they lightly slap whumpee's cheek. It takes a few seconds before whumpees remembers what happened, quickly thrashing in their bonds] Why am I doing this? You remember when I told you about how my parents were pressuring me into joining the family business? [Whumper claps their hand together] Welp, welcome to the family business. Yea.

[Whumper proceeds to roll out a cart holding various tools]

Whumper; Now, my only request is that you try not to scream too much. Not because I'm worried about anyone hearing you. No no, it's not that. Just whenever I shadowed ma & pops, they always lost their voice too quickly for my liking. But don't be afraid to cry, you were always such a beautiful crier, love.

caretaker; why are you so guarded? is it something i've done? because if it is--

whumpee; --no. you've done nothing wrong.

caretaker; then what is it?

[there's an unspoken plea, all she wants is to help whumpee]

whumpee; because i'm as loyal as a dog to the point it's my hubris. doesn't matter how much you degrade me, punch me, hurt me. i'll still come back to you, groveling at your feet for a whisper of warmth.

[she waits with bated breath. not knowing how to respond]

whumpee; you asked me why i'm so guarded. that's why. it's easier to just act as if i don't want anything to do with people. less disappointment that way...safer

caretaker; it's just a mask?

whumpee; yup, just a mask

[he deadpans, slowly shifting to lay his head on her shoulder]

Whumpee gets bold enough to stand up for themself against whumper, only verbally, but that in itself is progress enough.

Only to lose it when whumper yanks them by their hair, placing a knife against their throat.

'The word avox comes from latin, means voiceless...since you're so brave all of a sudden, want to tell me why you desperately want to become one.'

*at chili’s*

Y/n; i like their cups

Ted; oh you like their cups?

Y/n; yea…should I steal it?

Ted; no

Y/n; *steals the cup*

schlatt; why do you so vehemently not want to go to rocky horror picture show?

y/n; it looked fun but then i heard about some of the audience participation and went nope

schlatt; wanna elaborate

ted; *knowing exactly where this is going*

y/n; there's a bit where they have folks moan their favorite pokemon. and h-hear me out. yea, pokemon just say their name but i don't know how (y/f/p) says its name. and my brain wanting to be a menace to society has chosen fucking squirtle

schlatt; that's not that bad though, you do realize the things we've all done and said for videos right?

y/n; fuckin' course i do, but i don't have the balls to do that in front of a whole room of people

schlatt; *starts moaning 'squirtle'*

charlie; *joining in*

y/n; *trying to stop them*

ted; *looking into the invisible camera like he's on the office*

Y/n; Hey nerd rope

Ted; Hey

Schlatt; Hey Ted, did you do the homework last night?

Ted; No I only got up to #4

Y/n; Why did that person call you Ted?

Ted; Because that’s my name

Y/n; Your name is Ted?

Ted; You didn’t actually think my name was nerd rope did you?

Y/n; I didn’t think it was fucking Ted. How do you get nerd rope from Ted?

Minx + Southern Reader Sayings

– Intro post –

Other blogs; @trashland-llamas [multifandom], @ashtons-lemon-tree [bandom], & @schlundy [reblog]

Fic Library - where you can find my masterlists

Boop divider credit to @cafekitsune

I do take requests ! As of rn, requests are open [0]

– Who I write for –

While my writing consists mostly of gender neutral reader works, I’m willing to write for any gender. Please specify what pronouns you’d like used in the fic when requesting.

Only off limit topics as of requests are; anything quarantine/covid related & nsfw stuff

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