Ungrateful Oracle

Religious art leaves out the best part and it’s such a goddamn shame. Livestock, Agriculture and Food is an integral part of any culture and we all need to be pushing for more realistic sheep in religious art. #FATTAILSFORJESUS

“How think ye? If a man have a hundred sheep and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains and listen for the clappeth of it’s itinerant cheeks?” - Matthew 18:12, the bible

CLAPPETH….

I made this post a long time ago and never posted the follow up post, so here it is. Additional info on Fat tail sheep

Fat tailed sheep is not a single specific breed of sheep. It’s a catchall word like “Health care worker”.

There’s tons and tons of different breeds. They all store fat in their tails, but fall into two main categories: WIDE tails and LONG tails

Wide tails store fat in the rump area and have no visible tails.

Long tails store fat in the tail itself, which vary in length in different breeds. In the olden days, people took pride in breeding sheep with the longest tail. They are not so popular today as it’s hard to find a decent tail cart on Amazon.

Speaking of Tail carts, they come in different styles and designs. We dont have any that are actually preserved, but old drawing of them show different wheels harnesses.

Some of them are literally just skateboards

Back in the day, breeding sheep with long dragging tails was all the rage. Nowadays different tails types have been developed to prevent them from dragging their tails on the ground. Such as the “folded tail” or the “Only fat at the base” Tail

Despite fat tail sheep being the most common sheep breeds in the world, most people in the west have never heard of them. The West likes Wool Sheep. Fat tails are strictly meat sheep and have little useful wool. They also do poorly in colder climates

There’s a huge community of shepherds on youtube that script, choreograph and shoot elaborate videos for their sheep complete uplifting music to highlight their best qualities (for sale and stud) It is fantastic. Such as this one:

People kept bringing up Fat Bottomed Girls. Ya’ll are wrong. These are fat bottomed BOYS. Sheep are often continuously bred, so the females are constantly getting pregnant, giving birth and nursing.

That’s very hard on the body, so they can’t build up as much fat as the boys.

The fattest sheep, the ones with the truly VAST tails, rocking them little carts are ALWAYS males.

This is why the Bible specifically states that ONLY the rumps of the Males are to fit to be offered to the lord……

Picture: God desiring the tail

“And he shall offer of the sacrifice of the peace offering an offering made by fire unto the LORD; the fat thereof, and the WHOLE rump” -Leviticus 3:9

I mean… look.

Arguably these are just minor details and doesnt matter….

But beyond it’s teachings the bible is also a work of literature about life in the ancient world. And on some level these kinds of small details bring a sort of richness to these depictions of real…

Ancient people bred out sheep with huge butts, took the largest sheep butts, set them on fire and prayed over the burning butt. It checks out.

How can hilarious big butt sheep have existed for millenia and escaped being well known in popular culture everywhere. They’ve gotten off scot free for too long. Meme these fools at once.

I know it's unfair vilification and stuff but it's also a lot of fun to see old media and stuff where people were SO scared of big animals like lions, sharks, crocodiles and wolves were fully expected to just come and eat you the moment you stepped into their territory. In older media we also made that assumption about gorillas and in still older we thought it'd be whales. But some animals that will actually fuck you up got left behind. Boars will kill you and eat you. They're way more likely to do so than any of those other things actually. Hippos, obviously, got off like bandits always being depicted as cute and dopey. And then there's the squids. Not giant kraken size squids. The eight foot squids that hunt in packs and will fuck you up if you fall in the water at night. I can't BELIEVE people slept on that. It's like all they cared about were the huge deep sea ones we never see. The medium size wolf pack squids were right there.

Oh some of you don't know about the squids. I talked about them in another thread that went kinda viral somewhere or other but one of the reasons you should not swim in the open ocean at night in many parts of the world is that the water starts teeming with these:

And as you can see it is not like instant death, they too are just animals and they are often just gently curious about the presence of humans! But people who study and dive with sharks will tell you you're safe as long as you stay calm and know what you're doing. The world's leading professional night divers and experts on these squids, specifically??? Stress in every interview and article and paper they write in that you simply do not fuck around with these squids. They know what they're doing and they still all have at least one story of being attacked, in some cases having to be hospitalized. Considering just how rarely anybody puts themselves in the pitch dark nighttime ocean on purpose, let alone during a squid feeding frenzy, it sounds like they're quite a bit more likely to consider you potential food than other marine predators. We also don't know how many fatal attacks might have ever happened, because what humboldt squid like to do with large prey is just drag it away into the darkness forever. The two worst attacks ever proven involved two or three squid at a time latching on to a diver (in BOTH cases they were professionals and knew the risk!) and jetting straight downward with enough force that both divers suffered injury from the sudden pressure change alone, including burst eardrums, nearly passed out and they probably would have died if they hadn't broken free. In general, people who die drowning in the dark open ocean are either never found, or they're found in pieces picked over by enough scavengers that the precise cause of death can only be narrowed down to "the sea." But now you know ONE of "the sea's" possible murder weapons :)

There's a short section on Humboldt squid in Wikipedia's entry for Cephalopod attacks on humans:

And if you can get past some of Animal Planet's hokey presentation style, this video includes a bit of interview with one of those professional experts who still got nearly squidded from existence:

There is of course some debate about all this, with some arguing that all proven documented attacks occurred on people with reflective diving equipment, which they say the squid must have mistaken for the shine of fish. However, there are lots and lots of people who have to fish around these squids to survive, who do not have access to that kind of equipment, and also have a consensus that if you fall in the water when big squids are out hunting you might disappear without a trace or perhaps just get your head bitten open. With many modern science guys agreeing with this sentiment, this is one case where the "they're just misunderstood sea friends" crowd is kind of outnumbered. The sea at night is theirs and not ours is all. It's not ours during the day either but since we are neither marine nor nocturnal animals we are double fools in the eyes of the squids, which by the way are these eyes:

No for real:

Absolutely! Also, the Humboldt squid will hunt in packs, sometimes with one flashing brightly to draw attention while the others approach in near unseeable camoflage!

Beautiful footage of the nefarious sea demons also :)

Also because I can't reblog every addition together:

Okay where's the other 1199

I know it's unfair vilification and stuff but it's also a lot of fun to see old media and stuff where people were SO scared of big animals like lions, sharks, crocodiles and wolves were fully expected to just come and eat you the moment you stepped into their territory. In older media we also made that assumption about gorillas and in still older we thought it'd be whales. But some animals that will actually fuck you up got left behind. Boars will kill you and eat you. They're way more likely to do so than any of those other things actually. Hippos, obviously, got off like bandits always being depicted as cute and dopey. And then there's the squids. Not giant kraken size squids. The eight foot squids that hunt in packs and will fuck you up if you fall in the water at night. I can't BELIEVE people slept on that. It's like all they cared about were the huge deep sea ones we never see. The medium size wolf pack squids were right there.

Oh some of you don't know about the squids. I talked about them in another thread that went kinda viral somewhere or other but one of the reasons you should not swim in the open ocean at night in many parts of the world is that the water starts teeming with these:

And as you can see it is not like instant death, they too are just animals and they are often just gently curious about the presence of humans! But people who study and dive with sharks will tell you you're safe as long as you stay calm and know what you're doing. The world's leading professional night divers and experts on these squids, specifically??? Stress in every interview and article and paper they write in that you simply do not fuck around with these squids. They know what they're doing and they still all have at least one story of being attacked, in some cases having to be hospitalized. Considering just how rarely anybody puts themselves in the pitch dark nighttime ocean on purpose, let alone during a squid feeding frenzy, it sounds like they're quite a bit more likely to consider you potential food than other marine predators. We also don't know how many fatal attacks might have ever happened, because what humboldt squid like to do with large prey is just drag it away into the darkness forever. The two worst attacks ever proven involved two or three squid at a time latching on to a diver (in BOTH cases they were professionals and knew the risk!) and jetting straight downward with enough force that both divers suffered injury from the sudden pressure change alone, including burst eardrums, nearly passed out and they probably would have died if they hadn't broken free. In general, people who die drowning in the dark open ocean are either never found, or they're found in pieces picked over by enough scavengers that the precise cause of death can only be narrowed down to "the sea." But now you know ONE of "the sea's" possible murder weapons :)

There's a short section on Humboldt squid in Wikipedia's entry for Cephalopod attacks on humans:

And if you can get past some of Animal Planet's hokey presentation style, this video includes a bit of interview with one of those professional experts who still got nearly squidded from existence:

There is of course some debate about all this, with some arguing that all proven documented attacks occurred on people with reflective diving equipment, which they say the squid must have mistaken for the shine of fish. However, there are lots and lots of people who have to fish around these squids to survive, who do not have access to that kind of equipment, and also have a consensus that if you fall in the water when big squids are out hunting you might disappear without a trace or perhaps just get your head bitten open. With many modern science guys agreeing with this sentiment, this is one case where the "they're just misunderstood sea friends" crowd is kind of outnumbered. The sea at night is theirs and not ours is all. It's not ours during the day either but since we are neither marine nor nocturnal animals we are double fools in the eyes of the squids, which by the way are these eyes:

No for real:

Absolutely! Also, the Humboldt squid will hunt in packs, sometimes with one flashing brightly to draw attention while the others approach in near unseeable camoflage!

Beautiful footage of the nefarious sea demons also :)

Also because I can't reblog every addition together:

Okay where's the other 1199

Taking my Pavellan crums and making it better.

sorry for sounding too excited about my interests lol i forgot sincerity must give way to irony lest i appear as though i can find joy and positivity in a world you view through the lens of pure cynicism. my bad man i’ll make sure to mask my genuine happiness with a sardonic one-liner next time haha.

Funny story from the other night:

A dad came into my cafe with his 3 year old daughter.  He bought her a cookie and himself a coffee.  They sit down, and I go back to my pre-closing cleaning.  Three minutes later the dad walks up to the counter again, so I stop cleaning and walk over to greet him again.

As I’m in the middle of saying “hi” he cuts me off and says “Water.”

Not “Can I get a glass of water, please?” not “Where can I get water?” not even a confused “water?” like he’s not sure how to get water in this cafe.  Just a single word demand.

I work in silicon valley, so I’m kind of used to techies talking to me like I’m Siri or Alexa, but it still always drives me crazy when they do this.  Like, I don’t even care about the “please” anymore, I just want people to talk to me in complete sentences.  So I get the guy a cup of water, and he sits back down. 

As I’m about to go back to cleaning I hear his daughter go “Daddy, you did that WRONG.  You have to say ’CAN I have a glass of water PLEASE’”

My jaw hit the ground.  The dad suddenly became flustered and tried coming up with excuses “I-I said please…” “No you didn’t!” “Well she was busy…. I didn’t want to bother her…..” “You still got to be polite!”

When they were done eating the dad brought the dishes back to the counter and said “Thank you so much!” It’s amazing how fast someone’s manners can improve when a 3 year old calls them out.

Shout out to whoever is teaching that little girl manners, because you know it’s not her dad.  I hope she never stops calling rude people out.

compilation of this type of post

I guess I just wanted to share the Discord-Based RP group I've made a few while back. Similar to Klieverde University---a Mythos university based in Canada, Mysthaven is a Mythos university campus located in the Scotland, UK.

I'm particularly proud of the logos of each houses so I gotta share!!

I've even made a little uQuiz for my friends to see which house they belong to. And no, it's not based on personalities like Hogwarts' does. If you were idk a Gryffindor then that doesn't make you a Dragomund.

School uniform doodles for the RP OCs to wear

More info on each of the houses below the cut

Undersea cable cross-sections h/t Fipi Lele

Beautiful, right? When they first started laying this stuff across the Atlantic during the late Victorian, people made this stuff into souvenir jewelry:

Imagine a future civilization that can no longer make giant undersea cables and has no use for their original purpose but treats them as valuable treasure, like they get dredged up and sliced into weird coins. Maybe the oceans receded and you can dig for them but they keep going down into the water so more and more people have to dive deeper and deeper to do cable mining.

But watch out! Crabs got bigger.

Cursed cats!

a sluge 😔

this was a neat cutscene

i am a tragedy enjoyer before i am human

Can’t believe I have a post on my blog yet again that boils down to “ancient Egyptians would have thought fucking the hybrid wolf-man version of Anubis that most people think he is was both gauche and illegal because they didn’t conceive of him as a wolf-man; they’d think you’re trying to fuck a dog”

You may also be wondering why I know so much about depictions of Anubis in furry art and it’s because friends who are furries send it to me to try to shock me. I am no longer shocked by the sight of Anubis erect and drooling like a canine while also looking at me with bedroom eyes. I wish I was.

#jokes on your egyptians loved fucking animals so much they drew pictures of it on their tombs #they're not gonna kinkshame anyone

As an Egyptologist I'm gonna pull rank on this one. So, source? Which tombs? The Giza ones? The ones at Beni Hassan? The Theban Tomb series? I'd genuinely be delighted to know where all this animal fucking is going on and from what period it dates to.

Multiple writings on the tomb depictions seem to trace back to Sexual Variance in Society and History by Vern Bullough, published in 1976. Unfortunately I can't get access without paying for it.

There's also this page from Bestiality and Zoophilia: Sexual Relations with Animals by Honi Miletski (granted, the myth of Cleopatra's bee vibrator has been thoroughly debunked by now, so I can't attest to the veracity of anything else written here.)

You'll notice none of that actually cites a tangible documented example. Not a specific tomb. Not a specific papyrus. Hardly even a specific time period. Like my guys when in Egypt's 4000+ year long civilisation was this taking place? Evidence for it should be well documented but it isn't an that should be sending red flags and warning lights flashing real hard.

That book, I'm afraid to say, is racist trash that seeks to paint the Egyptians in a bad light (degenerate animal fuckers) that cites more racist trash (Tannahill is a prime example because her sources, having looked at them before are just pulled out of her ass). I know I've come across people citing this at me before because I can see the 'fact' that Ancient Egyptian men tried to fuck crocodiles and quite frankly if you think about that for more than 10 seconds you'll realise that it's not even possible without actual death. There is no recorded instance of an Ancient Egyptian man fucking a cow. I believe in the Chester Beatty Dreambook (P.BM EA 10683), from the library of Qenherkhepershef, there's a dream interpretation for what a dream means if you dream of yourself fucking a cow and it was considered bad. But there's also one for If a man sees himself in a dream: seeing his penis erect (nḫt): BAD: this means victory (nḫtw) for his enemies**, so.... they're not exactly talking about reality. Nor did they with the Apis bull because that would have been like assaulting a form of the god Ptah on earth. Trust me.

I'm able to read hieroglyphs and know of no example of bestiality being recorded within a text. There's one legal text known as the Adoption Papyrus (P. Ashmolean Museum 1945.96)*** that states if a man's brother and wife do not accept the document commissioner's children (who are adopted) then 'may a donkey fuck you, may a donkey fuck your wife' which is a 'threat' and not an example of Egyptians willingly fucking animals. Also, as someone who has read a lot of Ancient Egyptian legal documents (because that's my specialism) there is no written law on bestiality because Ancient Egypt doesn't have a written legal code.

The goats at the temple of Mendes appears to be circular citation, as I've never once found in all my times dealing with this passage being cited at me any evidence that this happened at all other than tertiary sources telling me so.

I need people to repeat after me: If a book says that a poc civilisation engaged in acts that most would find abhorrent and does not cite a primary source (i.e. a specific papyrus/tomb/stele etc) but rather a bunch of hearsay from secondary or tertiary sources then what you're reading is likely wrong and also at the very least more than a little racist.

** https://www.britishmuseum.org/collection/object/Y_EA10683-3 and also; K. Szpakowska, 'Dream Interpretation in the Ramesside Age', in M. Collier and S. Snape (ed.), Ramesside Studies in Honour of K. A. Kitchen (Bolton 2011), 509-17.

*** Eyre, C. J. (1992). The Adoption Papyrus in Social Context. The Journal of Egyptian Archaeology, 78(1), 207-221. https://doi.org/10.1177/030751339207800112

They are gonna give peepaw such problems I can tell.

Rook is just the problem child of their divorce