My recommendations for Halloween Movie Night!
If I am watching a horror movie, I want a HORROR movie. I do not want to see torture porn, because it is not scary. I want a movie that feels unsettling and scary, but also dark and beautiful.
-the Exorcist is a flat-out disturbing film. it stays with you. watch the original one or don’t watch it at all.
-Alien was a massive success upon its release in 1979, which was a completely unheard of accomplishment for an R-Rated film. The movie scared the hell out of me the first time I saw it because of how claustrophobic it all is.
-the original Halloween is the original and best slasher flick. Accept no substitutes.
-the Thing has some of the best gory monster visual effects in movie history. It’s Kurt Russell in a John Carpenter flick. You cannot go wrong there.
-An American Werewolf in London is funnier than you remember it was. It also has the best werewolf transformation scene of all time in it.
-30 Days of Night is a rarity these days: a truly scary Vampire flick that does not borrow from other vampire stories. It stands on its own, and it is a GOODY.
-Army of Darkness does not need to be explained. Really, any of the Evil Dead movies are great. I picked this one because it’s more of an adventure story and a 3-Stooges send up than a straight horror flick.
-Young Frankenstein is the best movie of Mel Brooks’s illustrious career. Period. They filmed the whole thing on the original Boris Karloff Frankenstein set. Watch this movie and prepare to giggle your ass off.
-Night of the Living Dead might not have invented the Zombie genre, but it introduced the world to George Romero, and he is still the best at it. The movie was filmed as a college project in the late 60s, with a black guy as the main character. I think that was a first of some kind. Watch the flick, and resign yourself to learning about why a George Romero Zombie flick is 1000x better than the Walking Dead.
-Bram Stoker’s Dracula was directed by Francis Ford Coppola and it is a beautifully dark, rich, and luscious film. It is not a monster movie. It is a love story. Always was. Great flick.
Bonus Round
Grindhouse: Planet Terror and Death Proof premiered in theaters as a double feature.
It is -by FAR- the most fun I have ever had at a movie theater. There were coming attractions that played before and then in between the movies. Robert Rodriguez’s “Machete” was previewed before his “Planet Terror”, and then Rob Zombie made a trailer “Werewolf Women of the SS” (he later made it a song on one of his albums), Eli Roth made “Thanksgiving”, and Simon Pegg/Nick Frost made “Don’t!”, followed by Quentin Tarantino’s “Death Proof”.
Amazon Prime is not currently streaming them as intended - a double feature. I bought the special edition bluray of the Double Feature the day I found out it existed. Have some friends over. Get a bit drunk, and watch it as a double feature. Sooo much fun.
Another year has come and gone, so I have some fresh picks for Halloween Movie Night!
1.) Muppets Haunted Mansion
It’s adorable. Gonzo and Pepe the Shrimp go to a Mansion haunted by Will Arnett and others.
2.) Little Shop of Horrors
Showed it to the boys tonight. It’s funny, it’s twisted, and it has some catchy songs. 
3.) the Mummy
I saw this in High School in the movie theater, and man this has really held up well. It’s a lot of fun.
4.) Blade II
It’s the best of the Blade movies. Wanna watch Wesley Snipes kill a bunch of vampires? This is the one to watch. Ron Perlman is in it too. 
5.) Rosemary’s Baby
The one from 1968. It’s like I said - if I want a horror movie, I want a HORROR movie. I want to feel dread, not be jump-scared or grossed out. It’s a movie about a lady that gives birth to the devil. And you feel her growing unease the entire movie. Watch the movie, it’s a classic for a reason.
and, the best for last (for this year 😏)
6.) the Shining
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Watch the movie.
AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!
At this point, I kinda like that I do this every year, so I’m gonna keep doing it.
First of all, I will accept movie recommendation requests, which I will then post about and critique as needed. This is a limited time offer, because Halloween is tomorrow. So ask me now.
Now then! Halloween Movies to watch, the 2022 edition:
1.) Pacific Rim.
We are collectively unlikely to get a really good Gundam/Evangelion/Big O/General Giant Robot piloted by Young People live action film. They work well in anime, not so much live action. It’s a big gamble asking for a lot of money from a major studio to appeal to a statistically very narrow target audience. It’s like making a big budget Invader Zim movie. Would it be good? Sure. Would it make its money back? NO, no it would not. That brings me to Pacific Rim. (The first one and only the first one). It was the exact right time in movie history to make a balls-to-the-wall giant robot movie. And they fucking NAILED it. Giant Robots fighting Giant Pokémon, with A-List actors and an A-List Director, and a quarter billion dollar budget. It’s exactly what you want if you are in the mood for a live action anime slug fest with monsters and robots.
2.) Vampire Hunter D.
Speaking of anime, let’s go for a classic that you younguns have only heard about in hushed whispers from reverent neck beards loitering near the porn section of the comic book store. First of all, the whole thing was a movie adapted from a manga by Yoshitaka Amano. It’s gorgeous. It was animated by the same team that did that horrible Batman: Ninja movie, but should be better remembered as the animation studio behind Ninja Scroll and the Animatrix. Watch the old school, first Vampire Hunter D movie. Totally worth checking out.
3.) a Nightmare Before Christmas
Ugh. Nothing I hate more than middle-American mall goths. Little shitheads that hang around the food court, Spencer’s gifts, and hot topic. You’re not being edgy or defiant. You’re wearing a ridiculously obvious uniform that marks you as being just as boring as every other 13 year old shithead living in the suburbs. A Jack Skellington keychain is not an identity. It’s the key fob that allows you entry into the unimaginative shithead’s country club.
*phew, I feel sooo much better having said that*
With no further criticism of the subculture it inspired, and despite the fact that Tim Burton didn’t actually direct the film, this might as well be his mission statement as a creator. It’s quirky, it’s catchy, it’s frequently off putting, and it’s ultimately charming. It’s a scud missile of marketing armed at all the disaffected shitheads of the middle American mall-culture’s food court. Watch it with kiddos 8+, they’ll make you endure it every year until they’re old enough to grow a sense of taste.
Stop whining. It was released in 1993, and it’s had it coming for a fucking minute.