St. Anger, 2003

Oof. OK, some background first. When Metallica was touring for the Black Album, James apparently went on an extended hunting trip in like Alaska or somewhere similarly cold and isolated. He said they basically spent a long time drinking in a snowed-in cabin and then hunting.

If you’ve never taken the time to read the lyrics that James has written over the years, the basics are that he had a fairly rough and traumatic upbringing. His Dad was not around very often, and his parents divorced in 1976, when he was 13. His Mom was a strict Christian Scientist who did not believe in medical care. She died when James was 16. James subsequently went to live with his older half brother. Dude had some shit happen to him, and music was his outlet. Kill ‘Em All came out when James was like 20-21 years old. And then Cliff died 3 years later.

24-25 year old kids in the spotlight of heavy metal, touring the globe and drinking a lot. Jason Newsted, Cliff’s replacement, sort of took on the role of the little brother that James could bully. It’s not… great. By about 2001, Jason had started to want to branch out, and he had a side project called “Echobrain” that he wanted to pursue while being in Metallica as well. James and Lars said nope, so Jason left. Good for him for picking his own musical growth over staying in what was essentially a very toxic environment for him, albeit with a lot of money.

James subsequently went into rehab for numerous drug addictions. He has a problem with alcohol in particular, and it was bad enough that James needed to get clean.

The band’s deal with record company, Elektra, was also coming to a close. Lars had also been arguing with the press about Napster and file sharing. In retrospect, Lars had some good points and it ultimately lead to a new era for the music industry.

Lots of shit going on in the background, lots of battles, and lots of internal strife.

So, now we get to the music on this record. It sucks. Critics have softened on it over the years. Before writing this, I tried to listen to the album again, and I just can’t do it.

The lyrical themes are drowned out by a bunch of songs that all kind of sound the same and seem to go on forever. Lars’ drumming is all pops and steel drums and then there are no choruses or guitar solos. They had no bassist so producer Bob Rock filled in on some of the tracks, and then they mixed the bass out of the songs in the production phase anyways.

My honest review is that it is hard to sit and listen to this album. It’s just not an enjoyable record.

In retrospect, I think this is the record that the band NEEDED to make, and it helped them as a group. It also lead to them finding Robert Trujillo, who is a natural fit as their bass player. They NEEDED to make it. I do NOT need to listen to it.

Lastly, I am only gonna pick only one track, and that’s because it sounds better live than I would have thought. They play “Frantic” live from time to time, usually with James asking the crowd if they want to hear anything from St. Anger, and the crowd uniformly roars back “NO!”. James laughs, and then plays “Frantic”, and it’s pretty good live.

I wish that St. Anger was Metallica’s worst album. It’s their second worst.

Really? Since St Anger is one of the two good albums Metallica made since... 1986 (the other one is the recent 2015 Hatdwired to Self-Destruct. So would be interested to hear your take what is their worst.

As someone who legimately hates guitar solos, in every 100 rock/metal songs with a guitar Solo it is outright useless at minimum 99 times, this was and still is one of the few Metallica records I listen.

Well, thanks man. I genuinely appreciate the rebuttal opinions on this stuff.

St. Anger is described online as having “Mixed to Positive” reviews. It’s got a 65% on allmusic.com

I made my feelings on it pretty clear, so it’s cool to hear from someone who genuinely likes this record.

As for Metallica’s worst record, I’ll get to Lulu in a bit.

I skipped S&M by mistake, so that’ll be next.

Joker by David Finch, with My (unfinished) Inks.

To me, he shouldn’t be a skinny, cracked out whacko. He’s a fop. A dandy. A prize fighter with a delicate and particular sense of style. He’s a pimp with the frame and body of a UFC Heavyweight. He powders his cheeks and rouges his lips like a dandy. Feather boas, mink coats, brass knuckles, .357 magnums, and lots and lots of amphetamines cut on porno magazine covers with switchblade knives.

And his darling. His dance partner. The grimacing silver spoon little lord Fauntleroy that dresses like Dracula. How better to shame the sad little rich boy that wants to fix the world than to dress like the most obnoxiously, contemptuously over the top clown. How better to show Gotham who the real joke is than to shame the joke with satire and bloody fists.

And no purple and clowns. Black. Black like an undertaker. A grinning pallbearer for a failed city that failed him and failed the little rich boy. That keeps failing the sad little rich boy and his sad little rich boy friends. Burn it all down and smile.

First of all, your inks keep improving.

Second: Joker is an all time great villain. While I agree on many of your points there are subtleties I disagree. Joker is not quite sane. Most people have stops, limits, they paise due to fitting to norms or consequences. They have lines uncrossed and sense of self-preservation. They have method to their madness. Joker has the madness.

Having worked at construction Batman has the weight lifter bodybuilder Set, doing safe, effective workouts for strenght and agility. Like some guys at construction sites he knows what he can lift and improve that methodologically. They also tire and try to protect themselves. Joker just goes for it. And same in their fights. Batman knows rules and multiple martial arts. Joker is like from James Crumley book " so, they are bigger, stronger and trained in karate. Bet they do not expect a bite in the balls"

Wiry or buff main point is walking chaotic nightmare. But indeed with his DNA from" the Man who Laughs" intact ( the old black and white movie with Conrad Veidt)

Because there is absolutely nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight

Not necessarily buff, just big enough that he can be appear to be a physical threat when he’s unarmed. He’s crazy, but he can collect and he can run a heist. He can go into the iceberg and broker a deal for guns. Everyone knows he’s unpredictable and dangerous, but there is a method to him. He doesn’t lift weights or do cardio, he’s just been beating up and killing anyone he wants to for so long that he is quite good at it. I don’t like seeing him looking like a skinny mental patient. I like seeing him as a legitimate physical threat.

I like seeing him dressed in black, with fancy touches of color. A black tuxedo coat with a deep plum silk lining, with pinstriped pants and a waist coat with a pocket watch. He’s a dandy. Rides around in a white El Dorado with leopard skin seats. Spats on his shoes. He applies the white powder to his cheeks himself, and puts on the lipstick to complete the effect. He’s dapper in a flamboyant way. He’s vain and he enjoys his appearance. Gold bracelets. White leather gloves. Top hats, stick cane with a hidden sword, and every pocket has amphetamines packets, hallucinogen tabs, knives, and bullets.

And thank you for your steadfast encouragement of my artwork!

Madame Web - spoiler-free

So, today me and my Son went to see Madame Web

and both of us knew more than half of the Internet hates thus. And being comics nerd I was baffled. " So this old blind woman who is paralyzed in comics is played by...young ablebodied seeing Dakota Johnson?"

But let's give it a chance.

It began slow and boring and the dialogue is awful and sticking there the main bad guy? In my youth I watched loads of italowesterns and Hong Kong kung fu movies that were dubbed better. It is not a little off, it is on another continent altogether.

And like the trailer showed he looks

I know It's like Craigslist Amazon (not-quite-spiderperson) or wish suit that will not get litigated because Sony has the rights. They are not going to sue themselves.

There are huge HUGE plotholes. And most effects got a call from early 2000s. You know the drunken ex call.

The money they saved was put in I guess rights to play Toxic by Britney Spears.

It really has these flaws.

And I loved it.

No sarcasm or irony. Really. I smiled. The comics nerd in me had joyous laughter. See I do not care if you like the sixties Adam West Batman or Monica Vitti Modesty Blaise. Those are travesties An insult to comics and their creators. I see nothing good in them. And I am wysiwyg, my personality does Not change between real life and internet. Somehow with all those immense faults the movie won me over.

I turned to my Son, who loved it too. Also as confused by this.

It will flop. They will talk about superhero oversaturation etc but I honestly want to see it again. I do not want to see Morbius ever again, that started better than expected but decided to piss everything and then some away. Yet even that shitstorm is lightyears ahead of aforementioned Batman & Modesty Blaise " films". This is by same writers as Morbius. Wild.

Most will hate it.

And some will say, sure you are aging toxic cishet man who just drooled over all the girls in this. Again you can think what you want, me don't mix movies and porn I don't give a shit what your sexuality is most movies but bait there, unnecessary nudity and cheesecake / abs for no reason except for the bait.

That said besides mainly wooden Dakota Johnson highlights were Sydney Sweeney.

And I very much enjoyed Adam Scott's performance. Chef's Kiss.

Really not for everyone. But I enjoyed it. And I will buy the Bluray

*this is why I love my buddy*

Thank you.

I can further recommend:

Tom O’Leary

the Bristol Board

Browse the Stacks

Shear-In-Spuh-Rey-Shuhn

the Best Comic Book Panels

and

Mirror Maelstrom

Additionally, I am legally required to tell you that my buddy, CurtVilesComic, is the real life Hagar the Horrible.

2 Splashes from the first full appearance of Red Sonja

Conan the Barbarian, Vol. 1 # 24, “the Song of Red Sonja”, Page 01 and Page 18, was plotted and illustrated by Barry Windsor-Smith, with Lettering by Artie Simek, and Script written by Roy Thomas.

Where’d Red Sonja find hot pants in the early iron age?

…she borrowed them from yo momma!

To be an annoying pedant: Hyborian age prrdates iron age by about 8000 years while having medieval technology and the original Red Sonja is from 16th century.

So, unless you have an amazing story about it , it does not matter who fuels Batman’s car or where Red Sonja gets her yoga pants.

The thing is, I DO have an amazing story about her Yoga Pants:

SHE BORROWED THEM FROM ROBBIBLACK’S MOM

It should also be noted that:

Yes, ROBBIBLACK’S momma is older than “8,000 years predating the Iron Age”

AND

ROBBIBLACK’S momma was still rocking hot pants in the 16th century.

And you know what? Honestly, good for her.

Hägar the Horrible by Walter Simonson from comics revue #38

Hey look, Walt Simonson did a cartoon of Curtvilescomic!

I’m not joking:

We’ve been mutuals for like, ever (He’s awesome. Follow him.) And I fully and truly want the entire tumblr community to acknowledge that he is the real life Hagar the Horrible

Double Edge: Omega, Vol. 1 # 1, by Joe Quesada, with Inks by Jimmy Palmiotti, and Colors by “AJH”.

Marvel from the end of 1998 until the beginning of 2001 was a shit-show. The Onslaught saga/Heroes Reborn/Heroes Return era were critical and commercial failures. Basically, Bob Harras spent a bunch of money on high profile talent, and the books sucked. This was also when the clone saga was happening for Spider-Man. Not a good time to be a Marvel fan.

DC had a bonafide hit on their hands, because Grant Morrison and Howard Porter were in the middle of their tenure on JLA. But Marvel? Oof.

So, “Double Edge Omega” with the chromium cover. It was pretty, and that’s about it. It’s not going to be reprinted, so don’t bother looking for it in trade. This was a “throw crap at the wall until something sticks” book.

It’s pre-Marvel Knights Joe Quesada and Jimmy Palmiotti work though.

Remember what I said about Marvel from 1998-2001? That is why I jump down people’s throats when they come here and complain about Joe Quesada as the EIC for Marvel. Quesada turned Marvel completely around. First, he spearheaded the launch of the Marvel Knights line. There were missteps, to be sure. The Angel Punisher thing didn’t last long. It was quickly replaced by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon. Daredevil was rebooted into probably the best book of the 2000s. The rest of it Marvel Knights was kinda meh. And then Joe had another good idea, along with Bill Jemas. Reboot Marvel’s longest running books for a new generation: The Ultimate Marvel comics line.

But this is exacrly it, you and me are old enough to remember times before the rise of Image comics, Marvel before they went bankrupt. Whole Heroes reborn/ return was a desperate, I do believe the americanism is Hail Mary attemp to remain afloat.

Joe Quesada got a chance to save Marvel and he did. Because he went to artists and writers who were properly good instead of popular.

And weirdly the same charm worker. Historically Marvel puts out it’s best comics once the creators get nigh free reitin. And that only happens when it is “ we are ending the series anyway because the sales suck” they said bye bye to Daredevil and let that young pup Frank Miller have a go, X-Men was about to end it’s d-tier run so Claremont and Cockrum might as well try their hand. Amazing Fantasy? That’s going to end too so ok have your dumb idea of Spider-Man, like anyone would read that…

Accountants and “business professionals” hate actual chances and risks. I happen to think that Quesada and especially Palmiotti are underrated but hey, what does old rancid fart like me know about anything?

YUP - Itsepäisyyspäivä

105 vuotta.

105th year of finns being free and stubborn.

Masters of their art. Swamp Thing #23 pencils by  Steve Bissette inked by John Totleben. Script by Alan Moore. 1984

Swamp Thing, Vol. 2 # 23 Page 16  ~ Colors by Tatjana Wood.

and

Swamp Thing, Vol. 2 # 24 Page 18 

Colors by Tatjana Wood, Letters by Costanza

Absolutely stunning work from everyone involved. Thanks for sharing, Hagar.

Weekend +Terror attack

Yeah, So I left to see Her on friday on to Turku city centre right after 4 PM local time. 

As at least most Finns know this means that I went straight in the immediate aftermath of suspected terror attack in my home town. Straight to chaos.

A stabbing spree that has left 2 dead and wounded 8 more.

The victims are mainly females aside of two brave men who got wounded while  trying to help female victims and stop the knife wielding assailant.

The killer(according to our law suspect) was stopped with a single gunshot to lower body(thigh) after he had not dropped the knife and stopped resisting when the police ordered so.

Now the whole country says they are mourning with us. Like fuck. We are and will be the butt of every joke, the others and vilified soon too and that is OK with me and most people like us.

There are racists and right-wing fuck heads who spread how people were shouting “Allah Akbar “when it was “VAROKAA!” which is Finnish for Look out/Beware. So there.

And while this might be first islamistic terrorism we got; lets not forget the right-wing nazis attacked a library with knives because there book publishing about their danger. Or when Pride was attacked with tear gas.

But yeah it cast a shadow on my weekend. Because I am one of those who wanted to be there when it happened earlier. See, in my city, people tried to stop him, chased him in order to stop him. Mostly unarmed or with makeshift stuff.

 And in my city they stood against the racists demonstrations after the attack painting all the refugees as potential terrorists. Which is working only for the far right and the islamists or some other asshole with severe brain defiency.

I am saddened by plight in Syria, in Charlottesville, in Ferguson,in Barcelona, at Russia the endless tirades. And of my city.

If there is one thing we do not need it is prayers.

Religion, any religion causes way more harm then it can ever do good. Us secular people just want to live and love so keep your bigoted views and delusions the fuck away.

Thank you.

Have spent the week-end checking my people if they are safe and OK  and getting messages checking if I am safe and OK.

We will be the butt of jokes of other Finns soon. We still wont care. The city has burned down, went through hard recessions, bad politicians and the fucking weather sucks at least 8 months every year.

But it is our city.

Rant over. Back to normal programming. Because that is what we do.

Glad you are still salty and disgruntled as fuck

Wait are you related to Her? Because those were Her words too. I have tendency to go grumpy on any injustices on a daily basis. 

Glad to hear you and yours are doing OK. Grouch on.

is this Geof Darrow’s work?

Paul Pope.

the intricacies of the Mauser threw me off, should have looked at Doc Manhattan’s lips and the fluidity of brushwork.

Thank you sir

No worries.

Saw this so had to try exactly how much my beaten to crap hands shake. 5 to 10 minutes freehand drawing straight with ink (Copic Gasenfude & Koi Coloring brush Warm dark grey)

Hell Ceasar

This is something I think I will do. When I told a friend(also comics writer) that we would be going today to see Hail Ceasar! he heard it wrong and said “You guys are watching what?” 

He had heard HELL CEASAR

Not missing a beat once he said that I went: 

“oh yeah… You thought it ended 15th of march…on ides…when he was stabbed 42 times…and he died…first he conquered Gaul…then Rome… now he has conquered Hell and is coming to claim his empire..and not alone…

HELL CEASAR!”

Yeah. Works for me

Signal Boost.

…Actually, it kinda sucked. Gameplay was weird, combinations were difficult to pull off, and the camera continually moved around, making the Polygon graphics even more weird looking. It looked awesome when I first saw it, but this seriously was not a very good game. As evidenced by the fact the Lucasarts did not make another fighting game like this one again.

I am bad in these. No sorry I am god-damn terrible in these but the name cracks me up everytime. “Masters of Teräs Käsi” Teräs is Steel in finnish and Käsi is Hand in finnish, but a Steel hand would be Teräskäsi not Steel Hand.

I love that Lucasarts named something in Finnish and figured that nobody would question it, and that the fans would assume it was an alien language or something.