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Dum spiro, amo

@undiscovered-horizon / undiscovered-horizon.tumblr.com

Sofia (22) 🇵🇱🇬🇧🇰🇷| she/her | psychology major | published writer | ON HIATUS (writing more novels) | Leave me a tip on Ko-Fi @ undiscoveredhorizon
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"Speak no evil" - Mafia!Billy Russo x Reader

[TW: violence, mob/mafia themes]

SUMMARY: When one of his men steps out of the line, Billy wastes no time putting him in his place. Remember for the future that when it comes to his wife, you should speak no evil.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 1.3k

The fact that Billy made your house an open office for his business affairs made you occasionally not as furious. That day, however, it seemed as if every one of his underbosses and their closest subordinates came over. What was once your house suddenly became a get-together for criminals.

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"Roommates" - Billy Russo x college!Reader

[TW: threats, age gap (at least ten years), might be read as sugar daddy dynamic]

<moving back to uni dorm in two days, starting my second major y'all girl is going on an adventure>

SUMMARY: Billy agrees to help you move. When he discovers you're going to live with a stranger, he makes sure to let the man know he's on thin ice.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 1.8k

Although it was you moving places, it was Billy who carried your boxes. He made it very clear that he wanted you to step back and let him do it. It felt a little flustering to have someone taking care of your affairs while you were perfectly capable of doing them on your own but the current situation was still better than Billy's initial plan of hiring a company to move whatever you had in that small room you were renting before. You would still be living there if it wasn't for the dean's scholarship you were granted.

Speaking of new residential arrangements, it's vital to mention that Billy had offered to pay your rent in a newly built flat in the nicer part of the city but, to his disappointment, you had declined. He understood that you would feel bad about being his dependant and, at the time, Billy hadn't yet realized he enjoyed spending his money on you. Truthfully, what else was he going to do with it?

"You have a ton of shit. Did you really sign the boxes?" Judging by his smile, there was something amusing about the cardboard having 'kitchen' written on each side.

"Call me a psycho but I like to actually know where my stuff is."

"Whatever you say, psycho." The sound of his chuckle was drowned out by the loud shut of the car's trunk. It was one of the things you treasured about your relationship with him: very little jokes were off-limits and even when a line was crossed, mostly unconsciously, there was hardly any bad blood between the two of you.

"Wow, you really are mean, Billy."

He opened the door on the passenger's side for you - something he had a habit of doing and you had grown quite used to experiencing. Sometimes you caught yourself unconsciously expecting that treatment and those were the moments when you could only laugh at yourself. There really was something humorous about one man worming his way into your life in a way that can't be easily reverted. Not that you wanted to.

"You told me to, princess," he said as he closed the car door after you. Maybe such treatment was one of the reasons women your age dated slightly older men. To put it simply - they knew the right moves and they enjoyed giving.

"So which is it? Princess or psycho?"

"Depends on which one keeps me on your speed dial." Having said that, he gently kissed the back of your hand. Billy was a really audacious man to casually shower you with nonchalance that not many could equal.

"Hate to break it to you, old man but people don't use speed dialling anymore." Although you never meant anything malicious by the nickname, at the very beginning of your relationship Billy couldn't help but wonder whether there was even an ounce of honesty in those words: maybe you did think he was a little too old for you. To his pleasure, you denied such sentiment vigorously and many times. "Thanks for helping."

"Anytime."

His hand, as he habitually did, rested on your thigh as the other held the steering wheel.

The apartment building was maybe twenty minutes away from your institute, close to the subway station and quite a few restaurants. From a student's perspective, it was nothing short of perfect. You thought there was something charming about the bare brick on the outside of the building, giving it a truly New York feel.

Billy was carrying one of the boxes titled 'bedroom' when something completely threw him off: there was a blond man leaning against the kitchenette. He couldn't recall if you ever mentioned having a flatmate.

"Hey, man!" The blond called out. He was happily drinking Hawaiian Punch straight from the gallon bottle. "I'm Chris. You need any help with that?"

The man had to be around your age judging just by his features. Billy, however, thought of him as probably younger than you by the seashell necklace he wore - a symptom of drawn-out, unbearably careless youth.

"Billy," he answered indifferently and left the apartment to fetch another box of your belongings.

He sighed to himself as he saw you taking the packages out of the trunk; there was some need for independence inside you that was undoubtedly something you couldn't control. You never called it 'independence', though - in your own understanding it was more of a hatred of staying idle, something Billy could relate to quite well. Truthfully, it was fairly hypocritical of him to ask you to be dependent on him.

"Met Chris," he announced. Billy never explicitly said that but it was fairly obvious from his tone that he was expecting some sort of story behind the unforeseen turn of events. In a way, it hurt him and his pride that you were willing to move in with a strange man and not with him.

"Seems cool, right?" you asked. His facial expression stayed unreadable but more on the irritated side. "I talked to him like three times and thought he was okay. Has a bit of that childish outlook on the world but it's nevermind."

"So you don't even know that guy and you're gonna live with him?"

"It's gonna be fine. I've done summer camps and dorms, I know what's up. I'm a big girl, Billy."

In his imagination, he had offered you to live with him multiple times. He could never quite actually ask you because he was a little too well aware of the situation and how it would look: you're a college student in a big, unfamiliar city and he's a millionaire older than you by at least a decade. Truthfully, Billy couldn't care less about the implications on his side - the worry was regarding you. People would start treating you differently, talking things and you were a little too optimistic to consider it was their own prejudice at fault and not some imagined slight you could have mistakenly committed. Moreover, Billy was self-aware enough to also know just how angry that would make him. Not to mention the crusade your parents would go on should they find out you were living with some older, rich guy. To be clear, Billy never hesitated he could easily talk his way into their good books but it was still a hurdle he would have to jump over; although easy to succeed in, it would still be another checkbox on a never-ending 'to do' list.

"And he's a big boy," he answered. You knew very well what he meant and no matter how much you wanted to sigh or roll your eyes, you understood his sentiment. Billy's protectiveness could sometimes be hardly bearable but you knew he never meant any harm and only wanted you to be okay. "You tell me if anything's off, you hear me?"

If Chris wasn't going to deliver, maybe Billy could spin a yarn good enough to make you reconsider taking up his offer. It wasn't ideal, far less than that, to create some kind of a scheme but he would sleep peacefully at night knowing that you weren't sharing your living space with a stranger. Even worse - he knew that if the surfer-looking boy would try anything weird, you would generally brush it off as something maybe bizarre but never malicious. Although he always considered the kind-hearted world you lived in to be a naive pipe dream, part of him was glad you were able to live like that, to never assume the worst of people.

"I will, promise. I gotta take a few things out ASAP," you said as you tapped a box signed 'fragile'. There were mainly plants and glass things inside. "But after that, we could get something to eat."

"Are you asking me out to dinner?" Billy's face lit up with a playful grin as his hand ran down your arm. Something about his gentle touch made you shiver.

"Only if you're gonna say yes."

"Have I ever said no?"

"Not to me," you answered with a shrug. Billy kissed your forehead before grabbing another box.

Making trips there and back again with your stuff, Billy waited for a convenient moment when you would be out of earshot to have a little chat with your new, hopefully only temporary, flatmate. He wanted to make sure Chris is certain this isn't going to be some Hollywood love story where college roommates fall in love.

Compared to Chris, Billy was taller and somehow bigger, although both of them were lean. The blond man wasn't feeling too warm about his new flatmate's friend in the sense that Billy didn't seem like a radiant person - he gave off a quite confrontational feeling as if it didn't take much for him to throw hands at someone.

"Don't get too used to it, surf boy. She's not gonna live here much longer."

"Ex...cuse me?" Chris asked. The warning seemed to lack quite a lot of context.

"You know the drill, man," Billy continued his increasingly threatening monologue. "If you try any shit with her, I'm putting you down." For some reason, he stopped himself from adding 'like a dog' at the end of the sentence. It was, in a way, a default additive considering how aggressive he appeared.

Chris quite clearly did not expect Billy to be so hostile and the surprise made him choke a little on the Hawaiian Punch. One of those days, either those fake seashells or the juice are going to cause his death.

"Calm down, dude," Chris choked out between coughs. "We ain't gotta be enemies."

"Oh, I'm very calm." If one ignored the aggression in Billy's voice, its general tone could actually pass off as unbothered. "And I meant every goddamn word."

The tense discussion was cut short by the sound of your closing the door to your bedroom and locking it. As if some magic was at play, Billy's grim and dark expression was suddenly changed into a soft smile, although the dangerous glint in his eyes wasn't going anywhere.

"You good to go, princess?" Billy asked as his arm circled your waist. It seemed as if his warning became a wordless announcement.

"Sure. Ever had Tatar food? There's a good restaurant nearby."

"Lead the way."

Chris was watching Billy walk away and leave the apartment with you, when he noticed something weird about the man or rather his clothes - there seemed to be something peeking out of the back of his jeans as if he had tucked something between his t-shirt and the pants. With squinted eyes, he stared at the weird shape for a moment only to come to a surprising conclusion that it was, without a doubt, a gun. An uncomfortable shiver run down his spine as he realized he was going to have, probably, the weirdest year of his life.

_______

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That's a wonderful and well-deserved milestone. Congratulations!!

From your generous offer:

If you were church, I'd get on my knees. & Billy Russo

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Hey, thank you so much! Really needed to read something positive after getting feedback for one of my short stories (the magazine rejected it) and the editor claimed that a character drinking cognac out of a regular drinking glass was a flaw in logic. Bestie, ✨what in tarnation

Could "daisy" be a term of endearment? Sounds cute enough. Anyway, here's angsty and romantic Billy for Your enjoyment!!

Addressing the elephant in the room, as you thought of it, was the mature and responsible thing to do. Still, your anxiety made your right decision run late - after all, what does one do with the said elephant after it's rude to further ignore its existence?

If Billy noticed your unusual quietness, he wasn't making it known. Perhaps he preferred not to press your honesty if you weren't ready to commit to it on your own accord. The silent minutes only further gnawed at your heart, painting anxious scenarios in gradually darker colours. The more reasonable part of you, however, demanded the confession to be made - inside you, it could only rot along with your love for Billy Russo.

"I know you don't like this," you spoke up finally. There was truly no point in playing naive, anymore. It was better to go through the heartbreak with dignity than slowly descend into madness over a man who preferred to keep women at an arm's length: close enough to pull you in and push you back out anytime he wanted to.

Although the night was quiet for a city as big as New York, it felt almost deadly silent in those seconds that were drawing out into hours in which he turned around to look at you.

His eyes were slightly squinted and the fainted wrinkle appeared between his furrowed eyebrows. Somehow, Billy's expression darkened as if your words moved something buried deep inside him, a thought so well hidden it was nearly forgotten.

"What do you mean by that?" His voice was low and weirdly tense.

You let out a frustrated sigh. Billy wasn't making things any easier with his apparent obliviousness towards the issue. Maybe he just dreaded the idea of you uncovering his ruse and him having to face the consequences. He wasn't going to cry about it, no, you've long gone decided to believe in your assumption that there was no reason for Billy to actually choose you out of the impressively large dating pool he could comfortably fish in. Should you leave him, it wasn't going to be anything beyond a minor inconvenience.

"I know you're not one for monogamy, Billy. The girls, the flirting... It just doesn't sit right with me to keep going like this, you know? Maybe it's time we both admit this isn't working out and move on."

He didn't answer right away. Instead, Billy crossed the space diving you in big strides with some quite inexplicable anger. Maybe he was irritated that you saw right through him and now he had to finally fall asleep in the bed that he had made.

"You know that's bullshit," Billy quietly gritted through his teeth. His answer didn't sound in any way believable, just entirely defensive. It was more of a filler statement as his thoughts rushed to find the right words. Was he not taking this as seriously as you were?

Feeling dread setting in your stomach, you looked away from Bily, focusing to take deep breaths while he remained silent and ever so observant. The atmosphere in the room quickly turned tense and you began once again questioning whether you were ready to face.

"Look at me, daisy," he whispered. One of his hands gently cradled the side of your face and turned your face toward himself. Reluctantly, you shifted your gaze from the wall to Billy, whose eyes stared back at you with an overwhelming intensity that you couldn't quite name. He seemed... nervous. There was something unclear about his actions as if Billy himself wasn't yet sure whether he wanted to break your heart or forever keep it as his own. "If you were church, I'd get on my knees," he helplessly pleaded.

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"A needle, a thread and a pair of hands" - Yandere!Billy Russo x Reader

SUMMARY: It's difficult to hide a gunshot wound but Billy realizes just how much he can earn from not doing so. As it is stated in a children's poem: A needle, a thread, a pair of hands and we'll fix the hurt right away. But a question remains: are you sure he got shot accidentally?

Author's note: I'd like to entertain y'all with a fun fact - there is no statistically significant difference in successfully determining a liar between regular people and professionals (psychologists, policemen, psychiatrists, etc.). For both groups, it's around 50%. So, statistically speaking, there is a 50/50 chance that you correctly call out a liar, no matter if you're a janitor or a psychologist with three doctorates.

WORDS: 1,708

Lying.

A curious behavior. Completely unnatural, that's why it's so hard to tell whether a stranger is being honest or not. The face of a liar is a marvelous show of emotions, showing both what they want to hide and what is genuine like black sesame seeds thrown among poppyseeds.

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+Hatred is love that, never having seen the light of the day, rotted, forever unable to recognize its own putrescent face. Maybe only as hate, this unspoken love can prevail, maybe in any other form, it would be a pleading for death. Enemies share the same intimacy as newlyweds.+

TRACKLIST:

  1. Run Like A Rebel - The Score
  2. A Conversation with Death - Khemmis
  3. Paint It Black - Epic Trailer Version - Hidden Citizens, Ranya
  4. Heat Seeker - DREAMERS, grandson
  5. Faces - Hayd
  6. Lion - Hearts & Colors
  7. Angel With a Shotgun - The Cab
  8. Monster - Hidden Citizens, Ryan Innes
  9. Bones - 8 Graves
  10. Blood // Water - grandson
  11. thoughts & prayers - grandson
  12. I'm A Wanted Man - Royal Deluxe
  13. Riptide - grandson
  14. Iron Man - Black Sabbath
  15. World Gone Mad - Bastille
  16. Axe To Grind (Bastile Vs. Tyde Vs. Rationale) - Bastille, Tyde, Rationale
  17. Thief - Imagine Dragons
  18. 21st Century Breakdown - Green Day
  19. Bury Me Low - 8 Graves
  20. Crossfire - Stephen
  21. Voices - Hidden Citizens, Vanessa Campagna
  22. Heart Made of Stone - The Tech Thieves
  23. Hunger - Of Monsters and Men
  24. Four Walls (The Ballad Of Perry Smith) - Bastille
  25. KULT (feat. Jasiah) - Steve Aoki, grandson, Jasiah
  26. I Can Hold a Grudge Like Nobody's Business - Adam Jensen
  27. Enemy (with JID) - Imagine Dragons, JID, Arcane, League of Legends
  28. Hungry Like The Wolf - 2020 Remaster - Hidden Citizens, Tim Halperin
  29. Know Your Enemy - Green Day
  30. Street FIght - Adam Jensen
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Imagine Frank and Billy reconciling only when you're in danger.

Frank turned on the light in the motel room only to be thrown off by the sight of Billy seating in one of the moldy armchairs. He has a loaded gun in his hand, pointing it right at the entrance, ready to shoot at any moment.

"Nice place you got here," he says.

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"(A warning) To all the boys I've loved before" - Yandere!Billy Russo x Reader

SUMMARY: Billy becomes suspicious when you answer a phone call and your expression shows a pleasant surprise. You can only imagine how surprised he is when he learns that your high school crush visits New York and wants to catch up. In life, there are two general rules: 1) Patrick from English should start praying, 2) don't touch, don't even think about, what belongs to Billy Russo if you want to have all of your limbs. Patrick from English breaks both.

WORD COUNT: 1,380

It has become a bit of a morning habit that Billy and you made breakfast together, although he had to be up early, talking and laughing together. However, one detail stood out like the Grand Canyon separating your individual lives: for you, it was more of a morning spent with your best friend, while Billy treated it as a glimpse into the married life the two of you are going to have.

The thought that Billy Russo could ever have competition, a rival, was at least ridiculous. There was nothing in the universe he wouldn't give you or do for you if you asked - how could anyone beat that? In hindsight, it was just plain insulting to place Billy and the other guy in the same weight class.

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Anonymous asked:

Billy x innocent!superkind!reader with a "i hate everyone else in the world but her" trope💞😩🔫

This is bordering mafia!Billy kinda??? I don't know if I conveyed the vibe as clearly as I should have.

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"Look, we can do it the hard way or the harder way, it's up to you," Billy said to the man tied to the chair.

"I really don't know anything! Please, let me go, I have a family," the man pleaded, desperate tears mixed with blood pouring out of his nose and mouth.

Billy sighed and shook his head before he spoke:

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Micky?"

Before Micky, a chubby businessman in his fifties with exceptionally effective sweat glands, could say anything, Billy shot a bullet through his knee.

The man cried out and his scream gradually turned to miserable sobs, incoherent pleas falling out of his mouth.

Billy grabbed a fistful of Micky's hair and forcefully pulled his head back. He leaned in to whisper into the man's ear. Micky whimpered in fear and pain.

"I don't like you, Micky," he began. "And I'm enjoying ruining your life but we're not getting anywhere. The thing I hate more than you is wasting my time. So get your shit together and just tell me what I want to hear."

"I'm begging you, I don't know anything! They don't tell me anything! I was just the middleman, I swear!"

One of the mercenaries, that Billy had employed, grabbed his elbow and gritted through his teeth:

"This isn't what we agreed on, Russo."

Billy, without batting an eyelash or even looking at the man, pointed his gun at the mercenary's abdomen and shot. Still staring at terrified Micky who was unable to speak even if he wanted, Billy spoke:

"I hate pussies."

He barely entered the flat when he heard your voice call out to him.

"Oh, Billy, good thing you're here! Can you help me?"

What a stupid question, of course he will.

"What is it?" he asked entering the living room.

"Can you hold Sir Pounce-a-lot for me?"

Billy looked at the big-eyed, ginger cat you had in your arms while trying not to show his contempt towards the pet.

"Sure," he said and took the cat from you.

Sir Pounce-a-lot was treading thin ice, actually. Billy absolutely hated that 'fur demon' for stealing so much of your attention but at the same time the ginger cat made you really happy and Billy would rather shoot himself than break your heart.

So there he stood, boiling inside, while you baby-talked to the cat and massaged its ears to spread some medicine. Sir Pounce-a-lot seemed to not mind the cold fluid inside his ears as he purred at the attention he was getting from his favorite human.

No matter how much Billy hated that ginger animal, they had quite a lot in common like you being their favorite person ever. And melting at any attention you give them.

When you were done, Billy was quick to let the cat go and turn his undivided attention to you.

"I'll get you dinner, have a seat," you said while already vanishing into the kitchen. "How was work?" your voice echoed through the spacious apartment.

"Same old morons," he answered as he sat in the high chair by the kitchen island, carefully watching you buss around the kitchen.

"Oh, baby," you said in a cooing voice and made your way to him. You gave Billy a kiss on his temple. "Maybe you should take some time off, hmm?" He stared at your face lovingly as you brushed your hand through his hair. You kissed him again and wanted to go back to making food for him but Billy's grasp on your hand didn't let you get far.

"We could go somewhere together," he proposed.

"I'd love that," you answered. His other hand reached to brush a strand of hair from your face but your keen eyes noticed the bloodstains on his skin. You grabbed his hand and frantically searched for any wound. "My God, Billy, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, it's not mine," he said with amusement in his voice. Your worried face made his heart clench in his chest. Billy held your hand and kissed it. "Don't worry about me, princess."

Your hands grabbed his face and, with utmost sincerity, you reminded him:

"I love you Billy, of course I'm going to worry."

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"There's something in the shadows" - Yandere!Billy Russo x Reader

[TW: mentions/depictions of obsessive behavior, light yandere trope + insults directed at the reader]

Summary: Billy has been obsessed with you since the first time he saw you. Call it 'divine intervention' when your long-time friend suddenly decides to break things off with you and Billy Russo is (surprise, surprise) the one to lift your spirits.

Word count: 1.9k

Author's note: This is my very first yandere anything, although it's quite light considering the trope.

The word "obsession" comes from Latin obsessio, "a besieging". Until 19th century, "obsession" meant only "influence or control by evil spirits without possession". Billy Russo was a great case study to determine why the word "obsession" can mean both an unhealthy fixation and an influence of supernatural powers because there was simply no other logical explanation as to why his thoughts became so preoccupied with you. Yes, it seemed as though there was something in the shadows of his mind, something sinister and devoted that fed off Billy's interest in you. Quite quickly, the man befriended that something, realizing it was a mean to the greatest of his goals - having you love him back.

Billy remembered perfectly well how he first met you. It shouldn't come as a surprise, considering that his life took a serious turn that night. When he entered the bar, he wasn't expecting to have his reason stolen from him.

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