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#sorry for the tag ramble op – @un-local on Tumblr

Category 5 "Woman Moment"

@un-local / un-local.tumblr.com

Hare. 20s. She/her.
Header: "Auroras glow above Jupiter and moon, 1981" by Ron Miller
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i-am-a-fish

I'm very sorry to ask something like this, I've really been struggling with this question, and I wanted to ask the combined wisdom of the people on this site

I would like to know why you keep going, and what drives you to keep living. I know there are a lot of reasons to stay alive and enjoy life, I can think of a few that personally resonate with me, but I really want to know what your reasons are

You do not have to comment on this if that's too big of an ask, and I'm very sorry for asking something like this, I really need someone's help, I feel like I don't have much purpose

Also if I may ask, please don't post any suicidal ideation in the comments of this post, I really can't handle something like that right now

my dog! :)

it sounds like a silly answer but it's my genuine one. he inspires me to live so i can give him the life he deserves ❤️

(photo included for tax, he just got a haircut so he's clean!!!)

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un-local

me, personally? discovery of new music. just found the sample to a one of my favorite songs from a few years ago. this week has sucked, but every time i listen to it, i feel like the burden is lifted a little.

my compulsive need to make stories, too probably. (not necessarily write them or finish them, but work them out like a puzzle in my head. i don't put pressure on myself to finish anything. i think it's mostly about the satisfaction of figuring out how the piece things together, which i imagine transfers over many hobbies)

and ive finally reached the point where a good savory meal is something i can truly enjoy.

ive spent a long time at my wits end. i dont really know what keeps me going anymore, but ive kind of come to peace with that. once i realized i didn't need to have a reason, that the only thing i had to do was get up the next day, it was almost... a relief? i dunno.

sending love, internet stranger. may tomorrow bring you at least one small respite

#im.... kind of an outlier tho. idk how much help this is but my answers are sincere#i just.... i suppose i liken myself to a rabid dog a lot. i got my jagged fangs in life and im just not gonna let go#i guess once i stopped hoping for some big redemptive love/friend/family/social thing to help me i felt better. i realized i can get by on#my own.#and that my survival/recovery/etc didnt have to be pretty or a good story for others.#it could just be me getting up the next day over and over again#i think that sounds wrong to some people but it helped me fr#another thing is revisiting old interests/music from when i was a kid. i was guarded and i only relied on myself for true emotional support#and i got that through music. revisting that music gives me the strength to keep going. i do it for her (my 12 year old self)#also the phrase “all things will be okay in the end. if it isnt okay it isnt the end”#idk. like i said im probably an outlier here. but i hope it helps for someone#cuz if someone gave me the usual fluffy/huggy/cozy lines i would have felt even worse. BUT to know that i DONT have to wait around for#that stuff to save me felt REALLY good#i guess my answer boils down to “old trance music and hearty soup”#i wish i could give happy/fluffy/hopeful but... i mean if someone said that to me five years ago i would have dropkicked them u know#sorry for the tag ramble op#keep life in your jaws. bite down and dont let go. rooting for you fwiw#and i do wish the happy fluffy hopeful stuff on you too btw#but i guess it helped for me to not start with all that#misc tag#harebrained thought
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Shout out to all the Black ppl that can no longer participate directly in the fandom they love because of the stresses of racism 👍🏾 you contain multitudes of value and I'm sorry that the color of your skin and the power of your voice makes people not want to acknowledge that.

Yes, nonblack people can reblog. I'd appreciate it, in fact, if y'all took the time to vocally support your Black friends/fans in fandom.

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can we please be more productive with our online time

#FOR REAL! sorry op; tag ramble time. please disregard#I curate my dash well so I don't see much of this anymore; but this literally happened to me irl the other week @ work. 0/10 experience.#I was stuck in a 4hr car ride with like. 3 extremely white & political progressives & the only thing they wanted to do was play Ally with m#They knew my ah. circumstances. and the whole time it was just them re-affirming that white people in history were super terrible and mean#And they *completely* understand why things are so bad and systemic blah blah blah... Wow look! They're the good ones!#And after a point it's just an exercise in misery. They're all doomspiraling and getting themselves worked up (at my expense)... for what?#So you can feel like you passed a popquiz?#Buddy. Don't use me to mop up your white guilt. I'm just sitting here. Trying to enjoy a roadtrip.#Idk. You know what I mean right?#Where all the sudden you realize you're like a rare pokemon to them; and now they can show off how enlightened they are to each other.#Like a prop.#And when you check out & wanna move on (bc you don't wanna talk about the genocide & suffering of your people all hours of the day)#They get all weird. Because what do you mean you want to sit back and enjoy things rn. How dare you try to set boundaries about how#We use you to show off/re-affirm each other. Ew. It's like you're sticking your head in the sand; we HAVE to talk about these things#(Which is to say: THEY have to talk about it. So they feel like they did something. They can cross it off their little checklist now)#Anyway. The point here is circlejerks are very draining and i want no part of them#Like... We agree! That's good! Go team! That means we can move on. And talk to each other like humans do maybe.#[ben affleck smoking image]#anyway#sorry for the tag ramble op#misc tag#fav#i will say that this story is more amusing when you know im fucking diaspora and whether or not i even “count” as the minority they were#using me as is a very contentious matter of debate#like. you're using me to exorcise ur white guilt.......... and i can't even absolve you in the way you think i can#bro wtf#lmao
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were--ralph
Anonymous asked:

you like fat men...what about trans fat men

I hate asks like this because it feels like it implies trans men aren't men

if you like men you like trans men and it's time people stop asking for permission for trans people. No more "do you like trans men" just "do you like men". no more "what about trans people" it's always including trans people. stop separating them because there is no difference.

trans men are men and the more we separate them the longer the divide will stay. stop giving people a reason, stop asking for permission and just take it

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Like i'm not trans, but it's very irritating to have people constantly ask for permission for trans people as though they need approval or validation by non-trans folk.

Every time you ask "well what about trans folk" it gives people a chance and a reason to say "oh not at all". Just say Ganondorf is trans and if people have a problem with it that's their problem, don't ask "can ganondorf be trans" that's entirely up to you

The time for peace and asking for this and that is over just take shit!! Stop asking for Cis folk to approve of this or that, just take it! take shit from Walmart, steal whatever isn't nailed down! just!!! take shit!!! Take transphobes to the river and drown them!! TAKE SHIT but don't take their shit!!

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No offense but the internet gives you the most wrong and fucked up idea of helping people because people get mad if you don't care about disasters happening in 72 countries, meanwhile the people in real life that are doing the most good picked one VERY SPECIFIC thing to care about and care about it REALLY HARD

Walks up to a guy working on restoring a native tree species to his downtown "why aren't you posting about grasses in Turkmenistan!"

The internet has taken a whole generation of bright, motivated, passionate young people who care and have big hearts and turned them into paralyzed, shattered wrecks too crushed by the weight of the world's pain to hand a pair of socks to a person in need

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sanjerina

There is too much to fix. Our brains, our hearts, our finite and precious lives are truly not capable of taking it all in. That feeling of being overwhelmed, heartsick, and exhausted is because we are simply not designed to know about all of the brokenness everywhere.

Evolution is just not fast enough to keep up with the information technologies of post- Neolithic civilization, never mind 24/7 news cycles and Instagram reels. It is okay, it is necessary, to look away.

Pick one broken thing, one place, one change at a time. Give fixing that thing your heart. Stay informed, sure — but broadly. Know enough to make a good decision if you are electing or delegating someone to work on another broken thing. But your energy and attention are finite.

Ask yourself, who benefits from your being constantly outraged, depressed, immobilized by anxiety? Cui bono? Then do yourself and your society a huge favor and thwart the fuck out of those people. Pick something. Anything. But we all need to pick a pile and start shoveling, or this shit ain’t going anywhere.

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mrshamill

your energy and attention are finite.

this this this! I volunteer at two places. i wish i could do more but i'm just not physically able to. i wish i could help do something about so much injustice and pain in the world but all i can do is concentrate on one small part of it and make it as better as i can.

start small. use a gardening trowel if you can't use a shovel. every little bit helps.

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drrockbell

Fandom: God there’s like NO content anymore. I wish we could get more art and fanfics :(((

Someone: Hey, I can’t draw anything digitally, because I can’t afford a tablet, but here’s a pen on paper drawing that I spent a lot of time and hard work on. Also, I took a shot at my first fanfic and I’d really like some feedback or at least some kudos if you enjoyed it :)

Fandom: Oh... yeah sorry no... not you. We actually meant writers that are already well known and popular to produce MORE content... I mean, if a popular blog shares your work then maybe. And we don’t really like pen to paper art. We just don’t think it’s professional or even looks good :/

This is why I try to reblog things that have little notes - the fandom NEEDS new people, or it dies, but the OLD people are there to support the new creators! New creators will leave and forget if the fandom doesn't welcome them, because they feel left out. We should remember that all great artists and writers, even the famous ones in big name fandoms, they all started from nothing.

If you don't want a fandom to die feed the sparks that come anew, don't blow on the old burnt ashes hoping they'll start again.

REBLOG STUFF IN GENERAL!!!

also please do not demand "content." Fandom does not consist of content-making machines.

It is a community.

Participate.

Fandom is conversation, not consumption.

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weaselle

being a line cook is insane but people do it anyway

do you want to know the secret to why line cooks stay line cooks?

We're addicted to a certain aspect of the job. A sort of combination of Pride and Power.

See, most of what is going on in that restaurant comes down to you. If the restaurant was a dairy, you'd be the cow, everything is based on what you produce; how much, how fast, and of what quality.

And it's INSANELY hard for most people to do. It requires you to keep mental track of tons of stuff while doing complicated physical creation in a dangerous environment under intense pressure

Any line cooks reading this? let me recreate a moment most of us have had many many times

For the rest of you this will be a nice window into the line cook experience

you have a rail FULL of tickets, and the printer will NOT stop printing more.

You've got a stove FULL of stuff you're cooking, and half of it is for stuff you don't even have a ticket for, because of something on a table that already went out was wrong or missing, or a server forgot to put something on a ticket and needs it in a hurry, or...

the tickets you are working on are for tables that finished their appetizers 45 minutes ago, and it could be an hour before you even get a chance to read whatever the printer is currently printing.

You have a head FULL of stuff you're tracking: how quickly the sauce is thickening in this pan, whether the garlic is about to burn in that pan, how long before you drain the pasta in that pot before it over cooks. As soon as the thing in the oven for table 31 is 5 minutes from done you gotta put the other thing on the flat top to go with it, you're putting together Something on your board and you can't finish it because you need a refill of an ingredient from the walk-in but you can't go get it because if you leave the kitchen you'll burn the thing in the salamander. And you can't plate the thing in salamander yet because the Something you're putting together on your board is taking up all the room you had left in this disaster of a kitchen

Three people have just told you complicated changes to dishes you have to organize and keep in your head. Something like

"24 needs 3 gnocchi not 4, and 2 with no rosemary; 3 needs all 4 gnocchi to have extra rosemary, 2 with no garnish; 22 needs an extra gnocchi extra garnish no rosemary, salads are almost out you can go in 3 or 4 minutes"

The manager, assistant manager, about 8 servers, and a fuckton of people at tables are all waiting on YOU with an impatience bordering on fury.

right? sound familiar? okay that's not the moment, that's just the dinner rush on a night somewhere between bad and average.

The moment happens when, during this insanity, you reach an internal place where you become completely overwhelmed. Panic and frustration and over stimulus all rise up and wipe your brain completely clean. You can't think, you have no idea what to do, you want to run away, you want to quit, you can barely think of your own name, everything feels completely impossible.

And then. The Moment

You pull it back together.

You stop being overwhelmed, you stop panicking, you insist that it IS possible, and that you are going to do it. You decide what has to happen and you start. You clear all the clutter you can from your kitchen. You pull all your tickets as far down the rail as possible and scan through the tickets on the printer so you have an idea of how things are going to go. You write down a couple of times on tickets that you would usually keep in your head but you need the brain space. You group the tickets according to not only time but what dishes they have in common so you can do batches of things. You decide if you can just get these two things out of your way you'll be in a much better position and so you concentrate on getting those two things cooked and plated. You beg the dishwasher to grab you the thing you need from the walk-in. You call your assistant manager or manager into the kitchen and you tell them you need them to start you 8 gnocchis: 3 no rosemary one extra garnish, 4 extra rosemary two no garnish, and one normal.

Right? Okay so first of all, as you can see... The job is INSANE

and second of all. Not everybody is capable of that Moment. The moment you stare already-existing catastrophic failure in the face and tell it No. That moment.

and you have to be capable of that moment if you want to be a line cook.

Which means pretty close to zero other people in that restaurant can do what you can do.

So now let me tell you a story.

I was 19 years old. I was a line cook at an italian joint. We're slammed off our ass one night, and the manager is in the little galley kitchen with me, and he's just standing there because he isn't good enough to not be in the way if he tries to help

and he's over my should about everything, telling me to drain that more or turn the heat down on this etc.

Finally, I stop completely, look him dead in the eye, and say "Tony, i'm not cooking another thing until you leave this kitchen."

I'm 19. Ive worked here six months. Tony is twice my age and married to the owner's daughter. There is a heavy pause.

Then Tony turns around and walks out of the kitchen.

What's he going to do, send me home? Zero other people in this restaurant can do the thing that makes it a restaurant. If i go home the customers are going home too.

And that's the real reason most line cooks stay line cooks even though the job feels like a war you never win.

It's that interplay of Pride and Power. For those few hours, the restaurant is happening because of you.

That's the power.

For the other part, try pulling a cook off the line during the rush. You can't. Even if they are in the weeds. Maybe even especially if they are in the weeds.

Once i was working with a cook who, in the middle of the dinner rush, sliced is hand open - a cut both deep and wide, pouring blood. No bandage we had was going to be a solution for it.

So he popped a latex glove on that hand, triple wrapped a rubber band around his wrist to keep the blood in, washed with soap, and went right back to cooking.

Because it was the dinner rush and no one else could do the job, and he wasn't coming off that line.

30 minutes in he had to swap gloves because it had filled with blood like a water balloon and was making it hard to cook. Leaving the line was never even a question.

that's the pride

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un-local

…I haven’t been able to get this out of my head since I read it. Even if it isn’t intentional, I can’t stop thinking about this as metaphor. The imagery is so potent.

It’s the sunk cost fallacy in the most visceral of terms. It’s what the toxic home you come back every day takes from you; or the job that’s slowly killing you. It’s what you need to get by in the short-term, that kills you in the long-term. It is exactly what you’re afraid your depression will turn you into. Your fear of aging. Aimlessness in the wake of grief. 

That you might have lost sight and you don’t even know it yet—and by the time you realize it, it’s too late. 

It’s a visceral reminder that if you don’t stand up for yourself and make your own decisions, they’ll be made for you.

The suit has to hurt you to help you. Is that even helping? 

(When does support become enabling? This will kill the suit too, eventually.)

A warning of burnout—that shambling forward past the point of exhaustion has dangers. You will stray so far from your original vision, make so many concessions in the name of progress, that you might not even recognize what you’ve made. Was it what you wanted?

At what point does determination become delusion? When does endurance become mindless suffering? 

When do you wake up and turn around?

…What if you can’t anymore? 

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Who else hates that bit of a hyperfixation when it's like "okay it's been a week, brain, did you do protect us from a manic low and we'll be back to normal in 5-10 business days, or are we long term insane about this now?"

Unfortunately this time around it was long term insane.

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vedajuno

I think the biggest sign of the grand “fall of Bethesda” or whatever is the fact that Starfield officially released a full calendar month ago today and I literally have zero idea what it is about or what happens in it. absolutely zero cultural osmosis seems to have happened, which would’ve been unthinkable for a Bethesda RPG like ten years ago

you don’t get it. Skyrim is one of the most iconic video games ever released, the Dovahkiin is firmly cemented in pop culture and stuff like “arrow to the knee” and “ah, you’re finally awake-“ became the bedrock of gaming culture for literally years. New Vegas is a continually surviving series of Simpsons-fan-level injokes about Benny and Courier and Joshua Graham, endlessly quoting every line of dialogue and modding the game with seemingly infinite hyper specific absurd add-ons. even the relatively middling reception for Fallout 4 was followed by months worth of people memeing about The Institute or Dogmeat, hair twirling over how much they were attracted to robots like Curie or Codsworth or Nick Valentine, it gave us THE FINAL PAM for gods sake. even Fallout Fucking 76 had John Denver stuck in everyone’s head for six fucking months.

the idea that I have not seen a single character or plot point or literally anything about Starfield in the month after its release other then “it looks pretty and runs at 60fps” is an impossibility. it’s absurd. absolute downfall material for bethesda

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wordsmith30

You know what makes me the most upset about the use of AI in our culture? It's not just removing artists from art or devaluing human creativity -- it's treating people like they're disposable.

Oh, you're not that special. We have computers to do that now. If you died tomorrow, we have your image. We have your voice. We have your biometric data. We can just duplicate you, it's no problem. Who needs flesh and blood? Who needs agency and free thought? Who needs the human soul? You're just a tool. And when we're done with you, we'll just toss you aside and find someone else.

Creatives, listen to me, and listen to me good: you have a voice and it matters. There is no one in the history of the world who is exactly like you, in this time or this place. There is no one who thinks like you, acts like you, speaks like you, moves like you. There is nobody else built like you. Nobody else with your unique experiences and outlook of the world. You are a product of history, of culture, of art, of love, of pain, of possibility. Don't let them take that from you.

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